Sunday, October 3, 2010

You can't blame anyone

If you're trying to get sober, as I am (and now sober), you may find yourself at times turning toward external stimuli or people as a source of previous abusive drinking.  While it is most certainly true that there were a host of external stimuli or inputs to excessive drinking, it is not going to help to try to localize guilt or blame or responsibility on those features of the past.  They are quite simply part of a past, and you won't get going into the future by figuring out how to assign blame.  You will get into the future by thinking about how you related to those previous elements and how patterns of your own behavior played a role in exacerbating some of the stimuli from those previous events.   Yeah, I know, it makes shit harder now (it would be easy to talk about the crowd you used to hang out with), but there's nothing to do about it except revive relationships that are worth reviving. 

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