Sunday, February 19, 2012

What Happens When You Stop Drinking. How Long to Normal?

This is a bit of a tricky question.  Partially, the answer depends on how long you've been drinking and how much you typically drink (and how frequently).

Assuming you're a bit of a hard drinker, though, I'll be honest with you: it takes a good year to feel really straight and normal again.  And don't think that once you do, you can start drinking again.  Because if you do, and trust me, or go find out yourself, you'll be right back to your old self in about a week!  All that hard work for nothing!

I know a lot of people don't want to hear that it takes  a year to be normal.  But consider the fact that most hard drinkers have already been drinking many years, changing, as it were, the chemistry in their very brains--the very brains that try to develop under the stress of booze and/or other drugs--and that large aspects of our personality has been coded, if you will, through the filter of drugs and alcohol, so much so that normal ceases to exist in a sober context.  Which is why I think, at least, that it takes a year to sort of stand on your own two feet again and look around and ask yourself what you'd actually like to do with your life instead of just fuck off all the time, and/or hurt those close to you, damage your own capabilities, not act on potential, and generally just become a full on low-life.

Yes, I think it takes a year.  By the way, I've been sober a year and almost 8 months.

And therapy of some sort might be in order.  Many drinkers have to really get used to the idea that they are not the center of all existence, and that their needs, however pressing previously, have actually been quite banal, animistic, and immature.

Anyway, for about 2 months you will be exhausted.  Don't fight it.  Just try to find a place of comfort to exist from within the sea of exhaustion.  Slowly, it will fade.  Try to do things slowly and in small increments.  I can't stress that enough.  The good things in life, like learning a language, cannot simply "be" accomplished in a day or two.  They take a lot of time (okay, if you are between 4 and 6 years old, language acquisition is not the best example, but I'll assume nobody is of that age anymore).

So, take a deep breath.  Take a walk.  Make a cup of tea.  Watch your habits.  You will have anxiety upticks, of which smoking and coffee and sugar might seem ameliorative or anodyne, but in fact, they contribute to these pangs of death, and I'd say cut them out for a while if possible.  Bottom line is that you can learn to manage anxiety without crutches, but the transition to sober will produce discomfort in the short and medium term.  About 8 months in, you'll start to feel better.  A lot better.  If you weren't a very hard drinker, this will happen in a month or two.   Anyway, good luck to everyone.  I certainly don't have all the answers, and have learned that my intuition isn't always my friend.

437 comments:

1 – 200 of 437   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

I hate this feeling. It's been one week. But I have to stop. Partially because my marriage depends on it, but mostly because I can't be a social drinker, whatever that is. I drank to feel good, and the more I drank, the better I felt, until of course, I realized that line where feeling good becomes being incapacitated.

At any rate, I'm 46, and while I didn't get ripped every night, a six pack most nights of the week was the order of the day.

After one week, I find that I'm wiped out by 4 or 5 pm. I feel groggy and almost borderline dizzy. Then when I read your blog that it takes a year, I was like "oh, f$#k." Well anyway, thanks for being an outlet for me to vent. I am sticking with it, just not enjoying so much right now. Hope this 1st month passes fast.

hmm said...

Get through the next month and things will get much better. You'll regain your life. Stay strong and keep away from excuses.

Anonymous said...

It's me again (Mr. 46). Thanks, hmm, I appreciate the kind words. Here it is, 10 days later, and I'm already feeling a lot better. The grogginess feeling has gone away. I definitely feel a sense of being able to accomplish more in any given day; that is, not so lazy to blow things off. The only thing I seem to be struggling with now is that when I crave a beer, it a really STRONG craving. Way more so than when I was drinking. But I find eating helps reduce the cravings. I'm guessing that's because it helps replace all the sugar that was in my bloodstream before. That, and I've been drinking the low calorie G2 Gatorade like crazy. My wife has seen that I'm serious, since it's now been almost 3 weeks with no booze. And her support has been phenomenal. While I realize anybody quitting anything is prone to relapse, I feel good about my ability to quit the drink. I'll try to post again in another month or so. Thanks again.

hmm said...

Good. Keep it up. When I first got sober (and now, actually), I drank a LOT of black tea with sugar and lemon. It was simply my go-to drink, and it did nip my cravings a bit, at least. Very dark chocolate also helps with this, and you can spare the calories now that you're dry. Set yourself a goal of staying sober for a certain amount of months before you even consider whether you should or should not drink in your life. Keep it toned and small in scope, and try to eat regular meals. Just exist for a while.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 31 year oldwoman and I have been a heavy drinker since i was 16. I am married and have 3 kids. The only time I've not drank is during pregnancy. During my teen years I was also doing every drug out there. When I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, i was able to quit. It's now been 12 years! I feel really good about that but I've replaced the drug addiction with alcohol addiction. I've had a hard time admitting that to myself....being a good mother is the most important thing in my life and if I'm an alcoholic, I feel that I've failed my kids. My. Marriage has also been in jeopardy mostly due to my drinking. I have only stopped drinking for a week so far but thats huge for me! I want badly to continue. Everyday is such a struggle. I have a very hard time imaging most activities without a drink. I know that i need help but feel shy and inhibited since I've quit and don't feel comfortable going to support groups. I will somehow get through this. Thanks for being an outlet for me.

Anonymous said...

Dear 31 year oldwoman,

Don't give it. It gets better. I've not had a drink is 2.5 years, and the more time passes the more I realize that drinking is not necessary for a good life.

It took about year after I quit until I quit thinking about it. Now, it's only every couple of weeks where I might think 'hey, a beer would be good right now'. When I quit I had a lot of things going on in my life and it was important not to be distracted by alcohol. Now I'm past those challenges but I don't see that adding alcohol back into my life would do me much good, so when the thought of a beer passes my mind I quickly - and easily! - just move on.

The best part is what I don't miss, and am glad to be rid of:
- hangovers
- coughing problems
- lost time with the family
- lost time I could spend doing something better for myself
- 20 pounds of weight
- the distraction of wanting a drink
- feeling bad about putting up with the above

It is not easy to stop drinking. But you can do it. If you made it to one week, you can make it to two. Then three and four and many more.

A better life is there for your taking.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend is on day 18. I worry because he has cut everyone out of his life, including me. I am well aware of the time and hard work involved in being sober. I am trying to hold out hope that he will let me back in. I have no problem giving up drinking, and have removed even the wine glasses from site so that he does not have a reminder of typical habits.

I just don't want him to throw our relationship away out of guilt and self-hatred. How do I know how much to space to give him, or how much to be involved when he is just disconnecting? So many people stay in their relationships and utilize that support, and I want him to do that with me. He says he doesn't want to lose me, that he loves me, but that he doesn't know how to be in a relationship now. He even admits that he will probably regret shutting me out in the future. What can I do?

hmm said...

For now, you can let him go through this one and come to you when he is ready. It isn't time to put your foot forward and assert yourself and your fear that he will isolate. He may. This won't be easy. You should make it clear to him--if you want to be with him--that you're available for whatever support he needs. If you are scared that he's going to leave you because he's sober, than he should. If you are supportive, be so, without nagging him. Mostly he needs his space right now, not more pressure.

Andrea said...

I also have a problem as the previous 31 year old had spoke of. I am a 29 year old mother of 1. And i had a heavy drinking problem. But, i have been sober for a month now. I still am having anxiety issues and having a hard time sleeping. Any suggestions for that? I know that I have to continue down my road of sobriety, because I am tired of feeling like this. I used to be normal and this addiction has ruined so many years. Even though a year is a long way away I am excited to feel like a real woman. Thanks for your support and being an outlet to talk to.

Qrys2fur said...

Quitting drinking has been a month and a half in the making. I'm 26, didn't really start drinking until I was 21, but it quickly became an everyday thing, and when I wasn't drinking, I was smoking pot pretty regularly. I've cut both of those things out entirely now (save one night where I had a scotch), and it's been pretty difficult. I find myself very moody and frequently tired.

The other difficult part is that I work at a bar on Saturday mornings and we have many customers who like to buy us shots. Now, I humor them and pretend to wash a dish and spit it out in a refuse sink. The thing that I have noticed is that has actually helped, because I'm constantly refusing to drink alcohol. I don't get any of the effects of drinking except the acrid liquor taste which makes it pretty unappealing to keep going.

Anonymous said...

AT 46 (12 Packer),

Almost 20 years drinking. Two full evenings without endulging. I felt Some immediate returns with this. The last two nights I have had difficulty sleeping, some sweats (No shaking). The idea of having a beer, kinda upsets my stomach at the moment. Continuous waking up through the night. Food intake has changed drastically also. I am simply just not hungry. The idea was always there to stop, but this last week it became later and later in the evening before I popped one open. then the other night I simply thought I really don't want one.

The ultimate goal is to not drink unless it is in the social, acceptable environment. At the moment it seems far fetch. I would like to have a drink with someone and leave it at that. A drink.

Benefits I felt, waking up and getting going was a little easier, the grogginess cleared quickly. Looking forward to that feeling tomorrow. The evenings were also remembered. I found a little more energy to complete tasks. I do feel a little bit of mood swings though. Will have to see how these pan out over the next week or so.

Tonight will be the 3rd night. Hope I can sleep. 1 week, then 1 month, then 1 year. Feel like a lofty goal when entering the 3rd evening....

Jesse Vargas said...

I'm at 3mo and a week right now w/o a drink. I dobt feel any different, i don't crave it, i feel exactly the same. And no i wasn't a bet ir two on the weekend kinda guy.. More of lets go drinking from noon to 2am kinda guy... So I'm not sure what my deal is. I stopped for awhile another time for 9mo and i felt the same that time as well....

Anonymous said...

There is no scientific or anecdotal evidence that it takes a year to overcome the effects of alcohol. Within a week all the effects are gone, and if you can quit for a month all physiological have stabilised. I think saying it takes a year is outrageous.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jesse

If you stopped for three months and feel no different than you really never had a drinking problem to begin with. When you stop dring for a week or two and you feel totally different then you know you had a drinking problem. I felt through others that I had dring problem, but when I stopped I felt no withdrawal and no changes. At least I know.

Canteen Raconteur said...

Reading these posts is really useful to me, thanks. I'm only on day 13 (but I've pretty much drank almost everyday since I was 17) and I'm actually feeling tired all the time with a messed up sleep pattern and strangely, craving chocolate. Mentally I'm much more calm and haven't lost my temper which I was prone to do to before.

I've already been out to bars and I have to say, it's made it easier for me rather than the other way round because I can look at people change before my eyes and get seriously drunk and sloppy.

Here ins Scotland , people dont really have a couple of drinks, they drink until they are barely able to walk..

Anonymous said...

Writer "Hmmmm" above sure seems to have some good advice. I'm on three months after 30 yrs of being a "functional" alcoholic. Got to the point at 46 where I decided....if I can be relatively functional (always have been an employed engineer) while drinking a gallon of Vodka a week...no joke...what could I do without it? "Hmmms" comments have been consistent with my experience thusfar...very insightful. Can't wait for the day I'm NOT tired aaalllll the time. I'm comitted now...and there is no way this "thing" (AKA the dysfunctional brain chemistry I've created over the years) is going to beat me! It's absolutely INCREDIBLE how your own brain tries to convince you that you shouldn't give it up! Put's Darwinism on it's head! Try not to make it a big deal....go about life as if you have never been a drinker. You are going to feel like crap, not know how what to do at a big party, not know what to do with your time at the end of the day, or whatever? So what? Push through it. Don't let it take yet more of your life from you. You are one of the few who decided that this chemical was not going to take you into the gutter! Celebrate! Of course it's good to talk about it now and then....but don't make it a focus. It's just the "new you"...period. It's amazing to me how initially I felt a loss. And then I thought...a loss of what? A loss of the fact that I'll not be dying a slow embarrasing excruciatingly painful death at 55 in front of my family and friends after my cirrhosis diagnosis?

Lose the thought that people who don't drink are boring....thats just a BS coverup mentality that an addict uses to justify his addiction. There are plenty of people who drink that are boring. Go jump out of an airplane and see if you need booze to have fun. Get on mission to be REALLY good at something...whatever it is....and see how fun that might be.

I'm having a great time doing a lot of things sober for the first time! Not waking up hung every morning.....not worrying about who's going to drive. Save up all the money you were spending on booze and buy something cool....like a sweet mountain bike. I'm also finding a lot of pleasure in remembering that I'm no longer slowly killing myself on a nightly basis. If you have kids, this can be especially satisfying!

Force yourself to excersice...walk at a minimum.....your body makes fun drugs all on it's own w/ exercise. It will take a while for your chemistry to come back...I'm still waiting....but I know it will be worth it!

I would love to understand more of the physiological processes behind the changes your body has to make when you quit drinking....but haven't been able to find anything. Suggestions?

Thanks for listening

Colorado

Jennifer said...

You are pretty much right on with your timeline. I've been sober for 7 and a half months now and I'm starting to see some glimpses of contentment (finally!). I think you're right that it probably takes at least a year for your brain to recalibrate to "normal" after being artificially stimulated with poison for so long. Thanks! :)

David Radzikowski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I just stopped drinking four days ago. I dranked beer since I was 15. Started on a 6 pack. Now up sometimes a case. Now that I stopped I am having a hard time sleeping. I twitch at night. Is this normal for just drinking beer. I use to drink just on my days off. Now its alot more when on vacation when I drank every day for 3 weeks. Just about every day unless I had a bad hangover.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this no-bullshit post. I'm not a fan of hearts and flowers recovery advice.

I've been trying to figure out for a long time if I'm an alcoholic. Nightly drinker, at home, at least 3-6 drinks. From everything I've read, I'd say I was borderline. I looked forward to those drinks all day, every day, but never stepped into the full-time daytime drinking arena (I have 3 kids at home.) I finally decided to stop and I've felt pretty good the last 10 days, but I'm super tired and mentally foggy. My husband said I seem uber-calm. I hope I regain my mental sharpness soon, I feel like I've lost my edge. I'm really worried about how to decline drinks from my friends and family, as I come from a culture thick with booze (Canada, eh!). It's basically expected or you're a dorky loser. Luckily I'm 37 and not in the party mode I used to be, but I feel like declining drinks is like admitting to all that I do in fact have a problem; I'm currently rehearsing cleaver, funny lines to use when saying no...
Good luck to everyone.

Anonymous said...

I feel ya. I turned 38 on 10-17 and my husband and I were 4 to 7 a night. Just chilled and watched tv. We go to work, keep our house up and workout. Not bad people but we felt like losers. We are on our path to stop together. What do people that didn't drink do? I don't really know any. I even am trying to learn to crochet. I do not think it is taking. :) oh well. Plenty of money not drinking to try new things.

Anonymous said...

I drank HEAVILY for 20 years. Mostly party drinking, but then it turned into solo drinking. I didn't go to rehab or out patient therapy, I just had to quit. I was sick of seeing bruises all over me that I had no clue where they came from. But I'm a week from six months sober and I am STILL exhausted!! All I want to do is sleep and it frustrates me because I'm a go getter, very active person. I should have gone to the hospital because I had very bad heart palpitations and very bad dizzy spells for a good 2 weeks, but thank God it has subsided. Holidays are coming and I'm a little worried, parties are arising. People, places and things are my biggest downfall. Doesn't matter...I'll probably sleep through it all anyway. 6 months, and I'm still tired?? Not like me at all...

Anonymous said...

I have been a big time boozer since I was 13 - 14, now 43. Mostly hanging in bars as a social outlet, never much of a home drinker. There are so many reasons to quit. Money, weight, health, no hangovers, feeling good about ones self etc.. etc...
Really liked the comment about finding something and being great at it! Do you remember being really good at something? Not just to be better than someone else, but just to be good and enjoy it for your self! Also, really burned out on the bar scene. I am not going to be a hypocrite but I am seriously over it. How many times can I watch some dumb ass tie a cherry stem in a knot, I have heard all of the jokes, played all of the bar games even heard the same conversations, "I'll have one more" You don't have to go home but you can't stay here" blah blah woof woof. Time for something new. Nice to be able to rant and not have tears, fake sentiment and hand holding. Life is a gift that's why they call it the present!

Anonymous said...

Hello, I rarely ever drink. But about two days ago I had a few drinks with my friends and foolishly became comfortable with it. This lead to me having way to much to drink and the after effects of me vomiting all night and eventually passing out.
Its been two days since and I feel much better, but I still sense that I havnt fully recovered. I find it hard to focus and store memory like i used to. Also i feel that my balance is still a bit off. Will this eventually all come back to normal? Or have I somewhat permanently damaged my brain?
...again, it has been two days.

JT said...

Hello I have been a heavy drinker for many years along with the rest of my family. I drink every single day however tonight is night #2 with no alcohol and I'm struggling especially being the weekend! I decided to start doing research for advice and came across these stories. I must say it does help knowing its normal to have such a strong urge to go to the store and grab some tall boys.. I'm finding to be restless and couldn't sleep at all last night hoping it gets better and easier soon. I always said if I make it to work everyday I'm not an alcoholic what a joke cuz if I wasn't I'm sure I wouldn't be feeling like I do right now with all this anxiety. I will check in soon. Thanks so much for this site!!!

Anonymous said...

if you are a heavy drinker, please don't quit cold turkey. severe withdrawal can be fatal. that said, i respect you all very much.

Anonymous said...

Hi, 35 years old, 10 years of beer and then vodka. Now sober 1.5 years. Tried many times to quit, unsuccesfully. I agree with the one year comment for heavy , long term drinkers. One thing that has helped me on very low energy days, is a B1 vitamin supplement (after consulting with my physician of course).

Jim said...

I'm having a month off the booze. Hammered it over xmas and new year and felt shit.Need a break. Doubt I'll give up for good though.

Anthony Perez said...

Hey JT. How did it go? Did you make it more days without having a drink?

Anonymous said...

Well I drank 15 scotches a week for about 2 years and I have not had a drink in 8 weeks and I feel no different. Maybe a little sleepy at night if anything.

Anonymous said...

My drinking was nothing unusual until I switched to scotch. That stuff knocked me on my ass. I drank it hard for 3 or 4 years. I started to have a drink with lunch then most nights. Thurs. Fri. Sat. Sun. I could have 5-10 drinks each day. 8 weeks sober now and I feel no change. The weirdest thing by far is I have zero urge to drink. In the past when I tried to quit I would snap out of a daydream and find myself in a liquor store waiting in line wondering how did I get here. Now nothing. Very weird. I hope I start feeling better.

Anonymous said...

Im a 36 year old married man. My drinking has never caused a problem with relationships or anything but i was consuming huge amounts and not really realising. I started drinking around 16. I always had a live in girlfriend so a lot of time was sat at home drinking after work then "getting on it" from thursday to sunday in the pub with friends. As i got older and going out got more expensive i got a habit of drinking at home. Normally 8 cans of 5% beer a night then a few crates on a weekend. Im not lazy i have my own small business and im the cook in our house of 2 adults and 2 grown kids. I kept thinking that in my life the excessive drinking was my only real downfall except i was becoming known as a "moaner" or "whinger". Anyway 2012 came and my mother had cancer. My best friend in the world had this awful cancer at a young age that became terminal. She died while i held her hand on valentines morning 2012. After this i drank quite a bit as you can imagine but then i started riding for charity doing london to brighton etc.I then passed my motorbike test and now race off road bikes. I slowed my drinking right down in november to barely nothing. Had a few over christmas with family and then once it was all over strictly back to drinking sparkling water. This is where i am now. I feel ok-proud of myself in fact. I did drink over christmas but no where near what i would normally consume-i wasnt bothered for it. I hope i keep going im sure i will and i have more charity work this year. Good luck all! K xx

Anonymous said...

51 years old I've been parting since 13. You know older friends still playing in a band for fun have 2 kids and a wife. Drinking during the week was usually a pint or more of something afte work. Weekends and holidays it could go all day. Where did those days go too. So I am sober 8 days in a row for the first time since 1980. I am holding on but what helped me was I got the flu the other day and between that and the need to stop drinking it has helped me achieve this minor success. WOW almost everyone I know drinks and smokes. This has not been the first time I tried. I been to AA meetings. I want to take back some of what I lost and want to gain the respect of me. Hope you all the best! TL

JT said...

I have thank you for asking! Today makes 3 weeks!

Anonymous said...

You will not get over the effects of drinking in One month my friend if you do you haven't been a problem drinker to start with

Anonymous said...

Nice website. I'm 59 years old and I drank on week-ends from age 20 to 43. Then I quit for 7 years and back from 50 to now. Drinking never stopped me from having a quite normal life, I stopped for two months (september thru november 2012), but I didn't feel as good as I expected. I'm a pro singer/musician and being somewhat high is part of my life. I don't know what to do but I don't care much. At almost age 60, I don't have a whole lot more to live anyways. I hope to read more life experiences as they always help. Cheers to all.

Anonymous said...

I was able to relate to quite a few of the comments so thought I would post as well in case anyone finds my posting helpful. I'm 43 and most people would never guess how much I drink based on my career success and happy family life. I starting drinking around 17. From 17 to 33 there was a lot of going out - usually drank 6 nights a week - 40 to 60 drinks a week. 33 to 43 has been family life but still drank 5 nights a week at home - anywhere from 20 to 50 drinks a week depending on the week. As recently as 6 months ago there were many weeks when I would finish 1.75L of liquor a week (45 drinks) plus beer and wine scattered on top of that. Through all of this I was able to be very successful with my career and had a great family life - although I was always playing catch up - doing double the work one day to make up for being pretty hungover the day before (although was in the office every day). The thing is that no one knew how much I was really drinking - not even my wife even though I was drinking in front of her. I probably could have kept this up quite a bit longer by just cutting back here and there. In fact sometime towards the end of 2012 I decided to cut out hard liquor for 2 months. Then about a week later I came to the true realization that I had to cut out all alcohol immediately. I noticed that for the last month I seemed to be getting congested in my sinuses anytime I drank any alcohol. I tried researching this and kept looking and looking for the reason. I think I was actually hoping to find something to scare me and I eventually found a study that mentioned histamine build up from drinking being an indicator of the start of liver problems. I did not research this any further and do not even care if this is true or not - I think that deep down inside I wanted to find something to scare me and this did the trick b/c then I read about how bad liver problems can be and how young they can affect you. I have a young daughter and wife that I want to spend a lot more time with. They are more important to me than anything in the world so that was that. In the past I have taken time off of drinking for a few days but never made it very long. This time feels different - I have always heard that you have to WANT to quit any addiction and I'm pretty sure that I never really wanted to quit until now. As far as feeling better, I love not having a hangover. One thing I noticed over the last 20 yrs of drinking is that 1 hour sleep and no hangover is better than 12 hours of hangover sleep. As for sleep I have actually gotten good sleep since I stopped 10 days ago. My biggest problem has been some trouble focusing during the day. At night the cravings are maybe 5% where they had always been 95% so maybe that means I really do want to quit this time. I also have to emphasize exercise, exercise, exercise. Not only has it reinforced the new healthy body I am trying to achieve, it also releases endorphins (or something) that I think really hits that same spot in my brain that the alcohol used to hit. Sorry this turned into such a long comment I guess I may have needed to just write about this a little as part of the process (and I have to say - while I was writing this I was a little shocked at how much I was drinking - I guess that's why they tell you to keep a journal).

Anthony said...

I am 30 years old and have been drinking since I was 19. A 6 pack turned into a 12 pack, 15 pack etc. Then Liquor starting making its way in, being a lot quicker buzz (of course). At which point I wanted to stop drinking. My amazing wife decided to support me and stop drinking herself. I am overweight, and was looking forward to working out during my sobriety ( I have also taken a leave of absence from work. Restaurant work is not the best surroundings). But I find myself not having the energy that I thought I would have giving up this 11 year habit. Does this go away in time? I physically feel exhausted and could stay in bed all day. Good luck to all!

Anonymous said...

Going on 50 and have been a heavy drinker since my mid-20s. There have been heavier and lighter periods. Average recently would be a couple of bottles of wine or a half pint of liquor and a few beers three or four evenings a week. I never drank during the day, and my job kept me from drinking on a daily basis. I've given up numerous times for period ranging from a few weeks to a couple of years, but always went back to it. More and more in the last couple of years I had been facing the fact that at my age, there is no future with this kind of drinking. It's going to stop one way or the other. Better to stop now and on my own terms before diabetes, liver failure, or a heart attack stops it for me. I haven't even really enjoyed the drinking for a long time now, just did it out of habit and boredom. I quit again a month ago and have been feeling very positive about it. My wife has been incredibly supportive. Since quitting I've been feeling none of the tiredness or mental symptoms others mentioned. I've actually been sleeping better and feeling more rested. Despite the amount I was drinking, I've never felt any physical symptoms of withdrawal. A few times I've craved a drink but it passed quickly. I really think this time is it, and am looking forward to life without this crutch.

Anonymous said...

I have quit drinking since I was told I has high blood pressure... I am 34 male and now I have one week in after months of heavy drinking... got a dui from it but it was the high blood pressure... I still go out and my friends drink, but I have no desire to drink anymore... my goals are finishing school, getting ripped as in working out, and move up in the corporate ladder

Anonymous said...

Superbowl Party last night- had 7 or 8 beers over a period of 6 hours and one shot. Feel like shit today. I have noticed over the last several months that I don't like feeling this way and I waste so much time stuck on the couch being hungover after a weekend party binge. I have always been a weekend warrior-started at 17drinking at least a 12 pack and then some. Drank to get drunk. I am now 52 and I don't like who I am. I'm sick of feeling shitty. I am done with alcohol. All my friends drink-they can have it, all. I am a binger-no doubt. But after only 6 drinks last night(that was nothing for me) today I feel like shit. Last few times that has happened. I don't like how my brain, body feel anymore. I run a successful business and work out but can only imagine what I can do completely SOBER. Thanks for letting me vent-I have never ever said this before to anyone in my life. It feels good.

Conor said...

I am 55 and have been drinking from the age of 16. I stopped 5 days ago as I am obese and drink bottle of wine and a few shots each night. I have 3 youngish kids and a wife who drinks heavily too, maybe more than me. It seems I am a high functioning alcoholic? Being Irish it is part of the deal that the more your drink the tougher/harder you are. I was a rugby playing farmer, young, fit and handsome. I decided it was time to stop and get healthy. I cannot wait for my wife to stop so I have to do it as she downs drink after drink. I am exercising, getting good sleep and feel good. Quit wheat concurrently. Feeling proud of myself, got through first weekend, incl SB party
Why is this so easy? What am I missing? Will the novelty wear off? How to keep myself on this track?
Good to have a support line here

Anonymous said...

Going through the same thing JT. Night 2 and I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. How's it going on your end? Assuming you've stayed strong, is it feeling any better now?

Anonymous said...

Good job. I think a lot of work just goes into admitting those things to yourself. You're 1 day ahead of me. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Im 21, and have been drinking regularly (mostly every weekend) since age 13 and now regularly has turned into most week nights as well. My friends and I usually drink for every occasion. Whatever we're doing we've always looked at as an opportunity to drink. After puking (which I never do anymore) and making some other really poor decisions 2 Saturdays ago and experiencing one of the worst hangover of my life--which lasted two days-- I realized I was sick of living like this and letting a substance make me feel so shitty. I have really bad anxiety the days after I drink even if I'm not that hungover, and I feel drowsy and not up for anything. I decided I didn't want to let alcohol be the center of my life. I haven't gotten drunk in twelve days and as bad as it sounds, this is the longest I've gone since several years ago but I can already see a difference. My anxiety has went down, my face has cleared up, I'm happier, and have more energy. My whole outlook has changed. I do get antsy at night though and have cravings but I try to immerse myself in something else, like a book or homework. I want to learn to have fun without needing alcohol. I know I can be a fun person without it but I always just chose to drink and be the life of the party. I don't feel like I need to do that anymore and I don't think it's worth the hangovers and the anxiety and the money. However, being at school makes it very hard. This is my last semester of my senior year of college and drinking is the culture here. I'm also on the rugby team. Drinking is pretty synonymous with the sport. My friends are all going to give me a hard time but I really want to stick to this for the sake of my health, my life. Advice?

Anonymous said...

Hello,
My name is Ed and I recently turned 50. I come from a long line of drinkers, I started when I was a kid and my social life has revolved around drinking my entire life. I was in the navy and a merchant seaman and I drank like a sailor. I've hung out in bars and restaurants and binge drank at every social gathering my whole life. I'm a Type A personality, I have a very high stress job and I drink to blow off steam and "relax" (self medicate). I've drank enough for three lifetimes. I've always been health conscious (mind and body). I quit smoking 12 yrs ago and I've thought about quitting when I turn 50. I'm sick of driving scared, the hangovers and adjitation "the next day and the thought of what I'm doing to my mind and body. I finally bit the bullet and stopped drinking 16 days ago. tomorrow and 'it aint easy'. I've been trying to keep busy going out and doing different activities every afternoon and I started working out. I guess my biggest concern is picturing having a sober social life / life. I made it through a Party with inlaws at a hall Sat night and that was a fist( 5 coffes and 5 waters). One day at a time..

Anonymous said...

Hi to all you brave people. I am 45 and drank from when i was 17 till I was 44. Started off as a social thing but I ended up drinking daily. I live in South Africa where the sun almost always shines and its warm most parts of the year, what better excuse was there for me to drink a couply of beers everyday. Usually bought a sixer on the way home and managed to finish two or three behind the wheel in the last 2 km home. These only kicked in when the car was in the garage and after I greeted the wife then I took the others hid them in the garden or pool and promtly finished them before supper. This just snowballed to the point that 8 beers and a bottle of Merlot wine became the norm and it just could not go on. I sat with my wife one evening and I told her I wanted to stop this BS. She was very suppotive as she was in rehab at age 20 and never drank again. The next day I went to see the doctor told him about my problem and he prescribed some AB tablets. I started drinking these daily and lived with side effects - you sh@t your brains out. After a month I stopped drinking the meds but I was strong enough to not drink again. This happened in May 2012 and since then I have not drank any alcohol. On very warm days after mowing the lawn and lighting up a barbeque fire it is still hard and I can almost taste that ice cold beer but I wont touch it. During business lunches I drink ice tea and many people are confused by this. I just tell them that I cant drink an drive. What still bothers me is that my energy level is still very low, when I was boozing I had plenty of energy - suppose from all the sugar in the beer. By far my biggest issue was to keep busy. I suddenly had all this sober time to deal with. Either way I am very glad I stopped and remind myself everyday that I did the right thing. Good luck to all of you.

Sally Jones said...

So glad I found this group. I just started a blog under a fake name because I need an outlet. I hadn't drank in almost 2 weeks and slipped last night. And it was bad. I'm terrible to my husband when I cross the invisible line from fun drunk to crazy, argumentative, raging lunatic drunk. I'm not even at work because I'm so hung over. I feel like a complete failure. This is my second marriage and I'm 28. I don't want to lose him. The only time we have major problems is when I drink heavily. I can't stop once I get started. I hate myself and everything I stand for right now. I'm disgusted with me. I feel like I live a double life because on the outside, no one knows about my problem. I hide it. I am definitely a functioning alcoholic. I started drinking when I was 15 and it's been a huge part of my life since then. I didn't drink when I was pregnant and my husband and I want to start a family, but after last night he's worried - rightfully so. I'm worried. I'm a ticking time bomb.

David said...

i found this article interesting http://hamsnetwork.org/brain_damage/. I have been a moderate/heavy drinker since i was 16 & now im 24. What i used to drink on average consisted about a 20 pk of beer & a bottle of liquor consumed with friends 3 to 4 times a week & for the past 4 months have limited it to two days a month. I want to take control of my drinking habits before it gets out of hand so i am now taking vitamins, exercising & being more cautious with what i put in my body & i even avoid some social gatherings where i know alcohol will be displayed. After 8 years of drinking i don't have much to show for it but a few fights, blackouts & a wrecked car. Im ready to take steps at healing myself & to becoming a better person. I wish everybody here luck on a healthier, happy life.

Anonymous said...

Hey there,

I am female, mother of a 13month old and have a partner of 9 years.I am 30 in April and he is 45.
I am currently at work, hungover and feeling awful because of a fight with my partner last night. I keep messing up by drinking too much. I've been drinking pretty heavily since I was 16 and since having my son, and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome and postnatal depression, I have started getting drunk every other night. I would drink every night if I could but still have a little control left to have a night or sometimes two off. My partner stays sober if I have a drink so that he can care for our son. But I KEEP getting drunk so I pass out downstairs. It's also partly because I'm on anti-depressants and they make me feel sleepy....

We are currently living with my parents because have nowhere to live and things are so strained and stressful. I am also working part time. It's all just such a mess. I want to try and quit the drink for a month but want to be open-minded that maybe it will be forever. I go see a lot of gigs and am in a band. Drink is always around me.

Argh! I don't want to lose my identity.

Your posts have been really helpful though so thank you. Good luck everyone. x

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm about 1 bottle of wine + a couple beers per night. It the same old crap every time I usually don't get too ripped, but still the demons come out to play and the next morning sucks (I'm 33 now so I actually get hangovers from a bottle of wine). Same guilt and frustration, then I feel better by noon or 2PM. It is a cycle. I am noticing that I shoot myself in the foot more and more. I don't want booze in my life anymore and I cant stand being in those meetings. Truthfully, I'd like to be the guy everyone wants to be around for healthy reasons and have my self respect back. I'm shooting for one week, then a month, then.... The thought of never drinking again makes me anxious beyond belief. Any advice beyond just meetings?

Anonymous said...

I never used to drink alcohol but because of certain situations I found myself drinking every night. It crept up from one or two to a bottle of wine, then a bottle of wine and a few beers. I tried to convince myself that it was the type of alcohol I was drinking eg the wine so then I went to a six pack of beer and a couple of scotches. My "demons" would come out to play also. It was affecting my work, my relationship and my whole
way of living. I just got diagnosed with diabetes and a slight fatty liver. I only drank pretty much every night for
5 years. I would basically turn into an as**ole. I went nearly a month off it then went back for a week and am now on my 1week mark off it again. The hardest part is seeing everyone else around you drinking and having fun, or are they? I am determined this time. I have told everyone about it and it helps. My health is now on the line, not to mention my mental state.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I want to stop drinking. Im too shy to go to meetings. My name is pat and Im alcoholic.

Anonymous said...

Hey pat. I wrote the message above your post. How long and how much you been drinking?

Anonymous said...

Hi message above!
Very similar story to yours but without the spirits. Love beer n wine. Started getting good at drinkin 5 years ago. I'm good at hidin my problem. Im lucky to have some work to keep me busy durin the day but night time i need a 6 pack. It just sneakes up on u. I wake up every mornin thinkin about it and sayin never again but by evenin Im buyin a pack. Pat

Anonymous said...

Hi - I was a bottle of wine a night drinker and probably hadn't gone a day without a drink in years. I did not quit totally - I am allowing myself one glass of wine if I go out (which is very seldom). Anyway in the past month I have had 3 glasses of wine. I expected to feel better or lose weight or something. But I still feel foggy, tired and low energy. Now that I read this blog I find out it takes a year! Blah.

Anonymous said...

Alcohol is a drug and an addiction. Once you have depended on it and medicated yourself with it, your body craves it, even 1 or 2 glasses. There comes a point where you have to decide am I having this to be social and relax or am I going through the day and its the only thing on my mind and is it affecting my life. Only you can make the decision to quit. You will be suprised how supportive people are when you admit it and there is lots of help out there. You just have to get over the shame feelings and admit it. I am an ex alcoholic and my life has changed dramatically for the better. Good luck to everyone. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Hi-43 year old male and I have been sober now for 11 months. I started right around college and drank progressively heavier until I quit. You would never have known it if you met me, as I have a good home life and successful career. I could also drink A LOT and still function. I could "hold my liquor" as they say. However, I felt the need to quit after I saw what it was doing to my mind and body, as well as a near miss DUI that was the proverbial slap up side the head. I could not have imagined the damage it would have caused if I had been arrested. After quitting, let me tell you it sucked the first couple of months. Getting off the booze was not easy. In my case the second month was worst than the first. The Pysch portion of my withdrawal was the toughest. One night I thought I was losing my mind when on a business trip I could have sworn the mini-bar in my hotel room was talking to me. Two things got me through it; 1)I knew I had to do it for me and my family before I really did something bad, and 2) I am a pretty competitive guy and there was no way I was going to let an inanimate object control me. After that second month it kept getting better bit my bit to the point after 6 months I could easily refuse booze and be around it. Now I can go wherever I need to go and not worry about it. In retrospect, the experience with the mini-bar was probably the best thing that happened to me as I never want to go through that again. Good luck to everyone trying to get sober and don't be afraid to get help if you feel you can't do it alone.

Anonymous said...

Beets says:
Been cock tailing for years on and off on and off. Heavy stress at 55 has me drinking daily now sometimes starting at 3 in the afternoon---helps me cope. But again today I have had it---on the wagon again. We will see how long it lasts this time. Wish me luck! Seems like a cool site.

Anonymous said...

if you're ready to be done drinking, the following book is excellent. It's radical but it's great.

Allen Carr's easy way to Control Alcohol

for people who keep quitting and are sick of it, this book can really make a difference. i'm not usually a person who goes for books that tell me what to do but this one hit the right spot. and it really can be easy.

Tim Bergan said...

Im 26 years old and ive been drinking nothing short of heavy since i was 19. I read a lot online and then i found this. I thought deeply about what is i drink last night all these years, and well this seemed like a good place say it and maybe get feedback. I figured out what i run from in my boozin. I run away from pain, loneliness, cuz i feel goofy in social situations like im the odd man out. I drink cuz in my mind i wanna feel as if everybody likes me. I want everyones acceptance, always have i dont know why. I want to be seen as cool in the eyes of everyone. I run away from any feelings of shittines, id rather end it with the bottle and feel nothing again. Its safer there.ive never really accepted myself so i look for it in others i guess. Ya sorry this was so long and whiny, but there you have it. I feel better having said that all.

Anonymous said...

I'm 40 Drank heavily from 20 to 30 went from drinking 1-2 nights per week to about 8-15 units per night at peak. I've had 2 24hr suspensions, very lucky. Slowed down after getting maried to about 2-3 drinks per night for a few years now. I understand that this is now considered light drinking and doesn't really cause any problems. What I wonder is if I would feel any better not drinking at all? Would your mental state be clearer? Would cardio fitness improve? I quit last night and want to try a month or so no booze. Have any lighter drinkers had any moments where they have had a noticable change after quitting altogether? Or should I enjoy the fact that I can function well with light consumption?

Anonymous said...

34 year old male. Decide to cut down on my drinking last year. Have been stopping for three to four months at a time. Drank through December and have stopped now since January 6th. Felt great after 3 weeks or so. The last two weeks have been Hell. I feel so anxious and I am constantly in bad moods. Last night inside I was absolutely ragging, like I wanted to punch the wall. The stress is unbearable. I have got some at work , but this is worrying me.

Anonymous said...

55 year old male. I'm wondering if anyone else has this issue. I was drinking wine on a semi-regular basis. I could go several nights without drinking, and then would binge on a bottle or two. I did this off and on for over two years. When I recently stopped drinking, I was so anxious, I couldn't sit still. On top of that, my body kept telling me I had to urinate all the time....though there was nothing there. I think it is from my body tensing up....as I notice I am also pursing my lips and gritting my teeth all the time. I am 20 days since my last drink. Is this normal?

Anonymous said...

To the 34 year old male, posting on 3/16....are you saying that you felt better after 3 weeks...THEN started feeling awful? I got up one day after 2 weeks of feeling terrible, and I felt great...I thought I had kicked it. Then by that evening, I was feeling poor again...and the last week has been hell. The anxiety is unbearable.

JSM said...

yes the initial drying out took about two weeks which is horrible. But after three weeks or so I felt great. It's only the last two weeks or so it's been bad. Really depressed and anxious and it seems to get worse at the weekend. Can't say I'm craving alcohol , but I need something to help me relax

JD said...

JSM....do you find that your anxiety leaves you with physical symptoms? I constantly feel like I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm always finding myself clenching my teeth and pursing my lips. When I really pay attention, it seems like every muscle in my body is tight.

JSM said...

Yeah for sure. Clenching my fist, pulling at my hair . Seems to Always get bad for me after Two months dry. Been especially bad this time though. Made appointment with GP to discuss.

JD said...

Please post when you hear from your GP. I'm real interested in what he has to say!

Anonymous said...

Hey dear people!
This posts have helped me a lot. I have been sober for 3 weeks now...I am 28 years old and have been drinking a lot for the past 2,5 years, especially last 12 months, everyday drinking...I had to stop to see if I am normal, and if I could do it, but deep inside myself I know i wont stop for good. Mostly I have been a solo drinker, and like that the most, you know,after work, i take my 3 liters of beer and go home, sit on a couch and enjoy...But i have another problem and no one of you have mentioned it...For me drinking goes necessarily with eating, i cant do one without the other, first i have to destroy myself with alcohol and then i destroy myself with food:)...and in this past 2 - 3 years I have became a good cook, i cock my own food, and it is like a perversion, first i drink 2 liters of beer, sometimes one liter of white wine, then i start to cook while drinking and by the time food is finished i am pretty messed up, and then i eat this tasty food, pizza, meat, gravy, sphagetti, you name it...but seriously, i need 2 hours for a really good lunch, and in that 2 hours i drink 3 sometimes 4 liters of beer (almost every day)...because of so much food afterwords i almost never have hangovers, just some coffe when i get up and everything is ok...Sometimes, on my job, cant wait to go home and do the same thing all over again...I like tasty food and when i drink this tasty food becomes ultra mega tasty, and i want to do the one and the other, because a like it so much. Deep down all of that helps me to deal with stress on work, bad ralationship with my parents for the past 15 years, the pressure of living on your own and being responsible, pressure of always being one step in front of a bad situation that you know that is going to happen, always putting your smile on but deep down you would very much like some miracle to happen, sometimes thinking that life is shit, not always but more times shit than it is beautiful..........That is why I am looking forward to this Easter, and the alcohol that I am going to drink along with big amount of some tasty food that i am going to eat, because i will feel better...I dont think i am able to quit this for good...

Sandyman said...

Most experts say it takes 1-2 years for the brain to get back to some degree of normal functioning. I drank moderately for 46 years (many times it was weeks with no alcohol consumption) and quit 16 months ago. It is only very recently where I go a whole day with no anxiety or depression, but the brain is righting itself now and what a relief! A year ago many nights with no sleep or only a couple of hours, severe anxiety, etc. Amazing how the simplest things now look so remarkably beautiful instead of the negative outlook that goes with alcohol. I can see why many alcoholics who are sobering up feel they have more psychiatric issues than alcohol withdrawal issues. Don't fool yourself- they are caused by withdrawal...and quitting smoking does make the brain start to heal a lot quicker. It has for me at least.

Anonymous said...

I started drinking around 14. I was a social drinker and occasional binge drinker through high school. Actually cooled off for 3 years in college and then went on a rampage my last year of college after having already gotten into graduate school. Slowed down in graduate school until my last year and then started binge drinking heavily through my first years of practicing my profession. Hangovers didn't take such a toll then, but I still took a break for a few years, drinking very little and becoming very successful in my career. I then got married to a heavy partier without much ambition, although in the same career as me. Boy did we have fun together. After a while though, I found comfort in the bottle to escape the slog of supporting both of us and a lifestyle that we could not afford. I started drinking all the time, hiding it everywhere and I became secretive and a heavy, heavy solo drinker. I had to go to rehab finally at 41 because I wanted to die and couldn't quit drinking and had started popping prescription pills as well. I am two years 3 months sober now. I had to get a divorce because I could not stay sober with my drinking spouse. It took a full year to feel normal (not tired and lethargic and sad) and I am still experiencing grief sometimes over the loss of my former life. However, somehow, I saved my job and am now more successful than ever and just got engaged. Dealing with problems without being able to shut down my brain with the alcohol was the most difficult thing for me. But I wouldn't go back to drinking or anything mind altering for all of the gold in the world. Life does get so much better and better and better, especially if you can let go of the shame and anger and resentments and focus on the joy of being alive, every day, even when its hard to do that. The problems were always there, now I can face them one at a time with a clear head. I am so grateful I got a second chance in life. If you get one, take it.

JD said...

Over the last year or two, I drank in spurts....binging on wine over a weekend, or in the evening. I finally realized I needed to quit. That was 4 weeks ago. Outside of a couple of 24 hour periods, where I thought things were returning to normal, I have found myself extremely nervous. I am constantly feeling like I have to go to the bathroom, but then have a difficult time going much. I am continually pursing my lips, and my face is extremely tired by the end of the day.

Anyone else have these symptoms???????? How long will they last?

I have a feeling the anxiety isn't helped by the lousy weather we've been having for most of the time I've been sober. It seems my better days have aligned with the few days of better weather.

Anonymous said...

I'm 30. Quit drinking 7 days ago. Drank a half pint every night since I was 16. I can't remember it all. That seems to be my tolerance now though. I used to drink beer but then started with jack and coke. I mainly drank for fun in my early days. Now I drink alone and its my only hobby. I have a successful career and am a good looking male. So my main reason for quitting is to re gain meaning in my life. I used to love to do so many things, like biking, basketball etc. Now I love vacations. But when I'm vacationing I only drink. I have a few alcohol withdrawals. Mainly anxiety, un able to focus on anything. I'm having trouble remembering things I read at work and projects to complete. My mood swings are out of control. I'm able to hide them pretty well. However I've been pretty nasty to people that made a mistake at work. (I'm in management). Zero patience for people. I've been eating healthy and drinking a lot of water. I also bought the antibuse pills. I find it helps because I can make a decision in the morning to not drink. I typically make better decisions then. After I take that pill I have no choice but to not drink when I get off work. God help me.......chris

Anonymous said...

Chris again..........to add to my comment above, I realized I had a serious problem when I started traveling with work. I would meet clients for work and they would ask me out for a drink. I would decline and go back to my hotel room and get trashed out of my mind by 7pm. I would wake up at 1am and finish my bottle of liquor and then pass out. I would wake up a few hours later like nothing happened and put on a suit and tie and go to work. I mostly felt depressed because nobody cared about me. I mean no one. I once traveled for work for an entire year and nobody I personally knew called me or contacted me. I did this without even thinking about it. I've lived like this for 6 years straight. People think I'm successful because I have a nice car, house and job but I Dont deserve it. If I could give it to someone more happy and productive I would. I think about these young kids in a cancer center I saw once and how much more deserving they are than myself. Thanks

Anonymous said...

I'm 30 and two years two months and twenty five days sober. No hangovers has been the easiest means to stay so. I spent about five or six years drinking heavily to deal with life and stress and heartache (or to not deal with them depending on your views), two liters of booze through a day or a case of beer a night (usually more) mixes with an assortment of other drugs (and I smoke marijuana all the time but that is because no antidepressants or anti anxiety drugs work for me,they just make everything worse). I've slipped up once or twice but have managed to stay off booze( I have zero desire to quit any of the other drugs I still routinely take). But today is especially hard,I'm in a very familiar situation in life that I'm constantly finding myself in,I've managed to make it through these times the several times I've been here in these last two years as well but today is excruciating. I am sick and tired of feeling like someone else. I don't miss who I was when I drank (violent and mean) at all. But I have felt this whole time that I am not myself anymore, that I changed for everyone else but not myself.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend is 25 n been soba for over a week now please keep it up baby I'm always here to support the great man u r going to become ... Paula

Anonymous said...

24 year old male.
I've been sober for 3 months now and all i got to say is i feel great.
i used binge heavily on the weekends ( 40 or more drinks).
When i drank i had severe panic attacks the next day plus weird thoughts i didint felt like i was my self.
i feel amazing now ... no more panic attacks i feel like me again.

basic spirit said...

Hey hey,
wow have found this site particularly awesome. I have been a problem drinker pretty much since 15, im now 26, female, apathetic, depressed, lonely. Cheated on my boyfriend drunk and then other trashy drunken things, vomited on the floor at a club last night, spend hundreds of dollars now that im working again on booze, dont drink alone but my only social contact is via booze so i kinda kept going since its like 2twice a week now or so, but every time i do i regret it i do something bizarre, new phone numbers, awkward encounters with strangers, pushed a bouncer once and got thrown into the gutter!! had a massive chin egg and worse went home with some random, very very dangerous and sad really. I am an intelligent woman! I think this makes it worse because I am always thinking about existential things and my family life has been hellish. Trying to get back with my partner and it just clicked like WTF are you doing to yourself!! you act in terrible shameful ways and hate yourself! i realised i really want to change and not use this meaningless crutch I want to give a shit about myself. i feel like its the end of the world thinking about life without booze, its been me, ive been that person, that trashbag. im the fun drunk people want to drink with, never develop friendships past this point. I smoked some pot last year which really helped i have to say in breaking the massive cycle, but i dont do that anymore and its mainly just i feel if i dont have the drink option then i can start to live, save, get my shit together. I know i can be a good person, i hope someone can relate to this and if you have any specific comments that you think will help or if youre similar then please lemme know!! XO

Jay said...

I'm 46 and have been drinking since I was sixteen. Never any beer, just alcohol. Would drink straight from the bottle and gulp it down just to prove to my friends how much of a man I was. Loved to party and would be a friendly drunk. I have a good job and a beautiful family, but am tired of hangovers and feeling sick the next morning. I also feel like some medical issues related to alcohol could soon pop up at this age if I don't stop. Quit drinking for the first time in my life after the Super Bowl of this year. Today it's been exactly two months and I am proud about it. The first month I wanted to eat more than usual and after that I started getting tired all the time. I'm a yoga instructor and an avid weight lifter, so I have to get on up and exercise. It's nice to hear that I'll eventually get over feeling tired. I'm not going to let ANYTHING stop me.......I'm through drinking for good!!! GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!

Anonymous said...

From MICH:)
You guys are awesome!! I have tried to quit so many times but always go round in circles with it and end up feeling hungover, fat/bloated and depressed. Im a 28 year old female with 2 boys and have been drinking heavily for about 12 years. I know i have a problem but it's so easy to ignor it when you blend in with the family and friends around you who drink as well (although seem to be fine with it as they don't drink as much)
I find that I binge drink, then the next day I crave high salty foods and just eat crap and don't move to much. I'm overweight and I know it's because of the booz but i don't know how to dig myself out. I suppose I can call this day one and try my bloody hardest :-) if i don't drink i'm chipper in the morning, go to the gym and if i could be happy like that everyday i know i would be living a life i want to.

Ken said...

Hang in thier! Exercise is an awesome way to feel better and help you with the anxiety.

moscode said...

Great reading from everyone and I guess it does prove to a point that, "misery does love company. " Me, I'm 49 and really can't remember a time of being beerless since 17. The other night I was thinking: all of my relationships were laden, boating on the Chesapeake........coolers, firing up the grill and smoker.....packed ice chests and for the longest time I really believed my riding mower would not start without a beer on the hood. So I'm thinking if I was medicating myself all this time missing out on a whole boat-load of things: God, family, relationships, feelings, etc......well, then now its time to quit. Wish me strong.

Nance said...

The new electronic cigarette is already a very popular item. Because of this, many different types have been created. This can be great because it offers many different options for all different types of people.
Electronic cigarettes
e-cigarettes
e-cigarette talk
reviews of electric cigarettes

Anonymous said...

I am 46 and sober for 3 months now. Used to be 2 bottles of wine a night and probably much more at weekends. I still find myself trying to justify drinking again - it's tough. Had all the sweats and sleepless nights as others have described. Exercise is key to me now - I ran 12 miles today and I've not managed that for years. If I can do the year I'll be stunned but I will keep trying. Stopping smoking in the past has show me that "once a smoker, always a smoker" . This is true of drinking - I know deep down I'd be back in the saddle in no time if I give in....

Anonymous said...

BASIC SPIRIT -

omg- u sound just like me, im 26
yr female and i'm 13 days now. Feel sooooo tired, dry skin and now hooked on energy drinks lool i'm naturally hyper anyway but it helpS with the cravings!.Monster Energy is my favourite, but looking onwards and upwards ohh yes!

STARLA xx

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the info about how long it takes for the brain to recover. I am at 5 months sober now (drank everyday for 12 years) and still don't feel back to normal, not that I'd even remember what normal felt like. It gives me hope that this depression will gone after a year of sobriety. I just quit cold turkey, didn't do AA, and can't see myself ever having another drink.

Anonymous said...

I have just given up ,i'm on week two .What worries me is that so many people are not feeling too good after giving up .After week 1 i became ill with flu.I know that it must get better and i'm wondering if we have forgotten what feeling good means after all those years of drinking.

Anonymous said...

This is an excellent article....the bottom line is dont give up and dont go back when you start to feel good...stay off the booze and day to day life will be so much happier xxx PS 100days and counting off the booze

Anonymous said...

I Think this article may have just saved my life... Thank you

Anonymous said...

I'm on week 1 of being sober. I drank a couple times a week, like 3-4 beers or so, and got hammered on the weekends. I'm only 26 and I don't want alcohol to be a part of my life. The alcohol isn't the disease, it's a symptom. It's the part of your brain that makes you drink in excess that makes you an alcoholic. And once you can't control that, the best option is to quit before you fuck your life up. I've cheated on boyfriends, fallen on my face, slept with a couple people without protection. Luckily nothing serious has happened, and I'm going to stop before it does. The scary thing is, you don't realize how bad it is until you try to quit and experience how difficult it is. It's worth it though, I only have one life to live here on this beautiful planet and I do not want to squander my opportunity to have an amazing life. Good luck to all. One week down....antsy as hell but I'm gonna stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Just finished 14 weeks without alcohol. Feel great. Was aiming to do four months but really considering doing longer. Been drinking heavily for about 25 years. Good reading everyone's comments.

Anonymous said...

Hello all -

I have been a dailey drinker for about 4 years. My drink of choice was vodka and a lot of it. I drank yesterday and well, it made me feel like a horrible mother. Today i woke up and asked god to help me but i hear a lot about people having seizures from quiting cold turkey. I dont know if it is better for me to try and tapper off or just not drink. Right now my heart is pounding out of my chest, i can not sit still and i just feel off. Is this normal? I thought about it this morning while getting ready for work, i can not honestly say that drinking has ever done me a bit of good. I too have a good career, and have beautifull children.

paperwhite said...

my karate instructor doesn't drink and he is the hottest thing alive. Just so you know folks- some of us find non drinkers sexy as hell

Lost Soul said...

I am turning 33 years old and have decided to once and for all stop drinking. I have been a HEAVY drinker for the past 4 years. Meaning not a day went by that I havent had a drink. The idea of being sober scares me because Ive only dealt with life drunk.

It started off with pot smoking in high school and then college, everyday. I stopped for a few years once I started working but would still get loaded when I went out to a party (pretty often). Then in my mid-twenties, I would have a glass or two of wine a night to "unwind" while still smoking pot to fall asleep.

By the time I was 30, I was drinking about a bottle of wine every night and then 6 drinks in one sitting while out socially.

About 2 years ago, everything around me collapsed, I lost my relationship, my career most likely because of my addiction to alcohol. So, instead of dealing with my reality, I was so depressed that I just drank more and upped my drink of choice to hard liquor. I would drink from the moment I woke up to the minute I passed out. Living off my savings from the high powered career I lost due to my careless behaviour.

Everything I did throughout the day depended on alcohol - I would walk to a bar and drink alone and pick up from the liquor store to make sure I had enough before I ran out. I went from being a social butterfly to a closet drinker with nothing. The funny thing is that nobody knew. I was drinking vodka in a water bottle all day long. Living a secret life. Even my recent boyfriend who doesnt drink didnt know, which is strange because I couldnt remember 80% of our conversations but it was never brought up so I figured if the person closest to me didnt think i was a drunk no one would. But the joke has been on me. (cont in next post)

Lost Soul said...

For the past 5 months, it got worse, I have been drinking up 4 to 5 750 ml bottles of vodka per week, all alone. I gave up all hobbies, dont go to social gatherings anymore because I am either already too drunk or just prefer to keep drinking alone. I actually dont want people to see me drink-- talk about living a double life. These people must suspect something in my behaviour or just think Im crazy. My boyfriend just broke up with me because he couldnt take my "moodiness" and horrible temper (I never had one when I wasnt drunk) and I barely have any friends because I had managed to fight with all of them or just act selfishly by not being there for them.

Two weeks ago when I went to throw out my stash of bottles, I counted 12-- I had drank them in less than 3 weeks. The visual of me throwing away each bottle in the dumpster is what did it. I am done with living this disgusting life.

These are the changes I have made so far, last week, I tapered off the booze to 2 drinks a day and even skipped 3 days out of the week altogether. Im shaky, tired as hell, craving alcohol but getting through it. My doctor gave me some xanex (i told him it was for anxiety) so thats helping with edginess. I sent out my resume and got a number of calls back, this will be the first time I am working in 2 years.

I didnt drink Saturday or Sunday but had 4 drinks on Monday. Not proud about that but its Wednesday and I havent drank yesterday or today. I am going to bed feeling good that I have FINALLY opened up about this secret life I have been leading for so long.

Tomorrow I have a job interview and I hope it goes well. I have to become a functioning member of society again-- I have a great education and resume and my whole life ahead of me to meet a man, get married and have a babies. I cannot be alone anymore. I am committed to doing this and through this forum I dont feel alone. You have no idea what a release this has been.
So now that you know my story, I hope you will join me in my journey in restoring my life. I plan to take it one day at a time and if you dont mind, I plan to share this experience with you. Ive never posted on a forum before, just read others' stories while sipping a drink hoping that one day I had the strength not only admit I had a problem but to speak up about it and do something about it. You have all in your own way inspired to to get on this path. I envy all of you and thank you for giving me this time to listen.

Maya Roman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This forum has been my go to since I stopped drinking almost 4 weeks ago. I was a 6 pack every other night on the weekdays and as much as i could consume on the weekends. I personally stopped because i was getting fat and also a series of drunken baaad choices with strangers. Drinking made me lazy and unproductive. It was a crutch for social gatherings. These past couple of years I had become a reclusive solo drinker. Which I feel is the worst. Since I have quit, my head feels clearer and I can already tell that my beer gut is shrinking. Im starting to feel the goals I have set for myself are completely attainable. I admire everyones courage to post on this forum and wish the best to all of you! Just take it one day at a time. It will get better. Otherwise, whats the alternative?

ps. Lost Soul, I am rooting for you! You got this.
-- red

FadingBackIntoReality said...

Last Saturday when my wife and baby son were out of town visiting her parents for the weekend, I started drinking at about 11AM. After about half a bottle of whiskey, I didn't think I was feeling it so I drove into town to do some errands. After I was done, I had a bunch more drinks and on my way home was pulled over and arrested with OUI. I didn't fight it and as soon as I saw the flashing blue lights in front of me I basically gave in to the face that I was going to jail and that I had reached the point where my drinking had caused me to make choices so bad that I couldn't ignore them anymore. I'd been mostly a solo drinker since 2009. It fluxuated between some weeks not drinking at all and getting as fucked up as possible on the weekends, but anytime that I'd set a rule for myself (a la only drinking Friday and Saturday) I'd find a way to justify why I should have some drinks on Sunday if I was bored, then Monday if I had a bad day and so on until it was drinking every day again. All the while my marriage was suffering and even after the birth of my son I couldn't find the strength to tone it down. I knew after last weekend that I no longer had a choice. After several years of careless drinking and ignoring my family's feelings and best interests, that I needed to address the urge to get fucked up all the time and escape (for whatever reason) my essentially pretty good life. I was alone the next couple of days after I got out of jail and those days were really, really hard to deal with. I didn't want to drink, I didn't eat anything and I really didn't even want to be conscious of myself, I just wanted to not exist. My wife and family have given me lots of support and I'm coming up on my first weekend where I'm not going to drink since I honestly can't remember when. I've been cranky as hell, but after about an hour of thinking about drinking the feeling subsides. I have a feeling that food will become more important for me to get through the first couple weeks. I'm also thinking about going for a hike tomorrow morning to just get out and get some fresh air. I've always eaten healthy, worked out a ton and been very active, but alcohol has still always been present and I've always found a way to fit it into my life, so keeping the good things in place and cutting out booze is going to feel awkward, it already does. I feel terrible that it took something so extreme to open my eyes and putting so much on the line that could have been so much worse for me or, heaven forbid, someone else. I'm going to see the financial and inconvenience repercussions of my actions for many months to come, so in a way I think it will help to have so much other stuff to deal with, but at the same time what could make me want to dull the feelings of shame and guilt more than getting totally drunk?! I love my family and want to be strong for them and make the rest of my life less of a drunken patchwork of hurt feelings and mistakes.

Hope said...

It will be six weeks Monday! Was drinking at least one bottle of wine a night for the past 10 years, over the awful shivers, now feeling really tired and craving chocolate, read above that's probably because of the lack of sugar i am having due to no alcohol, guess a bit of chocolate is better than a bottle of wine! Tonight is the first night I have really wanted a glass so thought I would google the bad stuff drinking does and came across this site, it has stopped me doing it but still thinking! Going to bed is probably the best thing to do, so thank you and goodnight x

Anonymous said...

Only on day 4 without alcohol and whilst i feel so much better in the morning, my sleep pattern is truly in turmoil. Any hints from anyone when i can expect things to improve. Sending this as 12.15am should be a signal that i am in the wide awake club!!!!!! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I have tried to quit oh at least 6-8 times and can do it on my own (without being hospitalized) but have also done it the rehab way... Feel like I'm a veteran at this.

Always takes a day or two to "sweat" it out and make sure you take a B supplement for at-least the first few months. Drink LOTS of Water or something like Crystal Light and Tea. Helps flush out your system. I never hardly ate when I drank (why killed the buzz right?) Now that I'm sober I can eat myself out of house of home... My husband says I'd rather have you at 300# than drunk all the time. We can work on your diet later. The food taste so GOOD! It's very, very normal to take lots of naps, you're body is in a major transformation. You're tired? Take a nap. You're not tired in the middle of the night? Get up and try again in an hour. I sleep like a baby when I'm NOT drinking. Probably because I'm SOOO productive and get so much done that I haven't done since my last sobriety stint I'm thoroughly exhausted.

This last time I fell into a huge depression that was unbearable. My Dr. basically said I'm not helping you with additional medication unless you attempt to quit. I literally wasn't leaving my house, not talking to any friends, answering any phone calls and just smoking and drinking and napping constantly--what a great life, huh?

What's the point? I looked at all the people that have Cancer, blind, deaf, and I could go on and all I could think of there is nothing wrong with me except what I'm bringing on myself and there are million of people that would love to be in my position and they certainly wouldn't poison themselves intentionally!

Good luck to all of you, pray and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

I'm 35 and now been sober since 1st January 2013 so just over 4 months. I have been drinking since a teenager and last 5 to 6 years very heavily every day. The first month was tough but no I enjoy not having the hangovers, having more energy, losing unnecessary weight and not feeling guilty the next day having been rude to friends and family.

Instead of alcohol I now drink lots of mineral water and also now eat more heathy. I want to keep going as am worried I will revert to old ways if I have a drink again.

Anonymous said...

I'm one month without a drink, please tell me when I will feel 100% better, yes I now sleep well - but I'm grumpy, short tempered and can't see any social life, when does it get better? Been a heavy drinker for 25 years, just lucky my liver is not damaged too much.

Anonymous said...

I'm on day 4 and I guess I needed some insight, so i did a search and stumbled on this forum. So glad I did. I think I'll come back here from time to time and update my progress and see how everyone is doing.
I'm 31, daily beer drinker since I was 19. I'm probably averaging 15-18 beers a day.
I'm really hoping for a relief from the symptoms within a month. I may be naive with that figure, but I'm hopeful.
My worst symptoms are being very annoyed by people, and being a tad depressed. We'll see what else...
-Doug

Jeff said...

I am on day zero. I'm 37 and have been drinking consistently and gradually more over the past 15 years. Last year, I quit drinking during the week for about a four month period because of rising blood pressure and high lipids (cholesterol). I'm not severely overwight - 5'8" - 178 lbs. Anyway, during that time I felt great, lost weight, had high energy, and had a clear mind (on weekdays anyway), bp and cholesterol came down to normal! I still drank on the weekends. After a week-long Florida vacation where I drank a few beers each night, i went back to drinking pretty much every day upon my return. I am a highly functioning alcoholic. I get up everyday, usually with a hangover, and head to work. I come home, take care of chores, help my wife take care of our 9 month old, get him to bed, then start drinking. It was beer in past for the most part, now I'm onto the harder stuff, drinking about a half of a fifth every night (probably more). I know if I continue down this path, I will die a horrible death or require a liver transplant. It's inevitable. I have a happy life (2nd marriage) and my wife doesn't really care if I drink as long as I'm not an ass, which I'm not. I've talked to her about quitting and she's supportive, but I never take action. It's a habit... Like clockwork. I get tired around 9:30 p.m. and could probably go to bed, but instead I reach for the bottle. It's getting annoying and I want to stop!! I have to stop!! I've read some these posts and feel like I'm reading something I wrote. So I'm glad I'm not alone. You have no idea how much this helps to read this blog. I'm going to take action and stop. I hope to update you with positive posts in the near future. Good luck to each and all of you!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean Jeff, reading these blogs really does help. Knowing you're not alone. You were successful at quitting on the weekdays, so you know you can tackle the first five days...you've done it before. Of course, it's gonna suck...but a lot of things suck, and we push on. I try to think of all the difficulties and hardships in my life that I overcame and put behind me. If I can do that, I can do this. The main difference is this one is voluntary, whereas the other ones weren't. And, if I don't act now...it won't be voluntary. (I hope I'm making sense).
Anyways, Jeff (and everyone else in our shoes), we can do it!
Btw...I recommend stocking up the kitchen. G2 Gatorade, tons of bottled water, healthy foods and snacks. This has helped me so far. I also take a half dose of ZZZ-Quil about two hours before bedtime. I'll stop this after the first few weeks.

-Doug
31 yrs old, day 7

Fred said...

Thanks for this site! I am into 3 days from a moderate alcoholic dependency. So far, aside from the minor anxiety, difficulty concentrating and ear-ringing, I am feeling OK. I am being more open about it which is not too hard as most of the men on my Dad's side of the family have history with alcohol. I look forward to looking back and comparing my quality of life...

Anonymous said...

I am 46- and drink every day. At least 10 shots of vodka and a bottle of wine. I know I need to stop. This is the first time I really am going to try. I have never said it out loud or written it down, so here goes-- I am an alcoholic. Hopefully admitting it even though it is to people I dont know helps me to start.

Anonymous said...

I really found this interestiing and helpful i need to stress to all of you recovering alcoholics,this is a long road for everyone who loves you.Your spouse or mate,kids,coworkers, family and friends. It will be all worth it at the end. One day it will all be clear.You don't need the alcohol to be happy.good luck and never give up. If you fall,get right back up!

Anonymous said...

I am 38 days sober now I quit because my brother who was also a heavy drinker died from complications of alcohol use at the age of 28 the
end of March of this year. unfortunately it took him passing away to actually quit and stay focused thistime. I quit drinking when I was pregnant with my child and started back up after birth and have tried a few times for like a week at a time to no success. sad that it took my brother from me but happy that it has knocked some sense into me. Alcohol is really not worth it....costs unnecessary money, makes you waste the whole next day or 2after getting obliterated, anxiety, depression, it can really run your life.....and take it from you in a blink of an eye. I know its hard to quit drinking.....but just think....is it really worth it?.....

Ron Burton said...

On day two now. Day one was long. Now I have a headache. I can do this. Just gotta make it through today.

Anonymous said...

As long as you can admit to youurself that you are an alcoholic is a great BIG step to recovery! Congrats,i wish you well.

Anonymous said...

This site really is great, Sharing experiences and reading about others who are strong and doing well really helps. I am 28 and have drunk moderately and daily give or take for 10 years. Day 13 and the hardest day today, it does get harder rather than easier after the first week or so, or for me anyway, but im sure after another of couple of weeks that will die down. I also have a cocaine addiction which I have only ever taken once without drink so it rally is essential for me not to drink. My mother is an alcoholic and I am unable to go out socially with anyone other than my girlfriend and not drink, it simply is no fun and I am often considered the life and soul of the party. It is a whole change in lifestyle but we can all do it, mind over matter and stay strong and remember why you gave up in the first place. Good luck to all.

Anonymous said...

Well done everyone for trying to stop or moderate the demon drink. It was my 50th recently and after 30 years of nightly drinking and building up to one bottle and two large scotch's a night and probably more on weekends, I went for a medical. High liver count and borderline move to diabetic status was enough to stop drinking that day....36 days, 20 hours and ten minutes ago.
So what does going from say ten bottles of wine and one and half bottles of whiskey a week feel like? Strangely, no sweats, no nightmares, if anything better sleep and no morning headaches. Previously I was a high performing alcoholic with a good job and a lovely family and my daily soak was after children were in bed from 9pm to midnight, I had a high tolerance and would work, read or watch tv as I drank and if it was not for the wakeup call with an emerging healthcare problem, I would be doing the drinking now.
After nearly six weeks I miss the buzz and I keep thinking, how long before the Liver is fixed and blood sugar level drops, so I can resume 'social' drinking. Having stopped and not had problems resisting, I am in that state of denying that I had/have a problem and probably believe that when I reach my target of three months and get my liver checked, that I can maybe resume weekend social drinking.
As I read other posts I am not sure if I am in denial, if I am doing well for quiting so far or whether I am only eight weeks away from getting on the slippery slope?
Biggest issue is going to dinner parties (3) and a family boat/booze cruise and not drinking but (in my imagination) thinking only a matter of weeks before I can join in again.
Huge respect for those who have stopped and stayed stopped, will be interesting to see where this journey goes. Mike x

Anonymous said...

Mike - After 2 weeks I am in a simialler position as you. I am starting to think I feel well and healthier and a social drink won't heart. The reality is we all, or the majority of us have addictive personalities, or at least to alcohol. Once we have a couple of successful couple of glasses of wines/few pints and no more it is very likely to lead on to larger quantities and far more regularly. I believe this is just the mind playing tricks and temptation coming back strongly. Remember how good you feel now and that if you drink you will have all the problems of before.

Anonymous said...

So true! You need to realize that some of us (myself included) are not capable of social drinking. I haven't drank in years but I've tried to social drink a few times. Always turned out bad. My family was upset and hurt and very dissapointed in me. I realized it wasnt worth the pain and drama. I am not a drinker at all. My life ain't perfect but, a lot happier and pleasant. My family wants me around now.At one time they didn't and i understand why now.

Anonymous said...

Okay, Day three and going to see Dr. Shaky a bit and feel weird inside. Maybe where liver is. Just feel crappy all over. Don't have urge to drink yet but know it will come. I had a high tolerance so I wasn't drinking to get buzzed just loved to drink and alot of it. I want to stop and think if you can do it so can I.

Anonymous said...

I am 40 y/o and I have been drinking heavily since the age of 16, I have not had a drink for abouy 8 weeks now and I really went through some changes. Sleep pattern was off and I developed a strong craving for sweets during this process I have realized that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a social drinker so I have made the decision not to drink at all. I ended up on this site because I wanted to know if it was normal to play out scenarios in your head where you think about going to the store to get a drink as you normally would do or go to a bar and have a drink. I never do but I play it out in my head everyday buy the thought doesn't make me wanna go get drunk, I continue on with my day. I was scared at first because it is getting warm now and I knew that might be a trigger for me but I continue to stay in prayer and I am finding other things to do with my time that doesn't consist of me drinking myself to death. Wish me luck on this sober journey!!!!

Givingitatry said...

Going to try and quit. I very seldom am drunk but do drink every day.I think my mind needs to be clear so I can make better decisions in my life. There is no one now and I just quit my job.Day two as of now. It is quite late so I will leave for now. Thanks for this sight, you are all very strong.

Anonymous said...

I tried to convince my wife last night on day 14 that a couple of drink just with her before a meal would be fine, she stayed strong and said no. I wake up so glad she did! I think the best thing to remember is the point at which you quit and that day you made that choice. Recalling on this really helps trying to convince yourself of just having a couple or a special occasion, as my wife told me last night, special occasions will be there 4,5,6 times a year every year, no excuses. Keep posting guys when you need to, this is my 3rd post since I have been sober and it really helps to talk and write down your feelings

Anonymous said...

I'm on day 4 with no alcohol and I'm feeling terrible. I would drink up to a bottle of wine a night a few times a week. I would never drink during the day, only after my kids go to sleep. If I was out of wine, I'd drink whatever other alcohol was in the house. I would stay up until 2 to 3 a.m. every night. I just can't do it anymore. I'm 28 and tired all the time, more now than ever. I'm fine at night but during the day I feel like I can't function and some times I just want to break down and cry. My anxiety isn't helping the matter at all either. I'm doing my best to hang in there but this feeling sucks.

Anonymous said...

Hi again, I am the chickwho posted about her brother who passed away at 28 due to chronic alcohol use. I feel great, on my 42nd day of sobriety, losing weight, more active, skin looks fantastic, actually got carded for buying a lottery ticket yesterday and I am about to be 30 soon. Everything is going great except I am irritable and cant sleep! I don't know what to do....... I started exercising again thinking it would make me more tired in the evening.....nope. whyin the world is the irritability and insomnia starting now after 42 days? :(

Anonymous said...

As some people have said,it can take up to a year for your body and mind to fully recover, I have noticed nights where sleep has been poor and the days when I have been more irritable. We will just have to ride it out. There is no point in going back otherwise we are back at day 1 and will have to do it all again. Stay with it everyone.

Anonymous said...

I am a spouse of an alcoholic that is trying to stay sobber. It's very hard when he doesn't tell me how he's feeling physically. I know he feels different. I know things are only going to get better for all of us. So wierd that even though its hard and frustrating, just knowing the beer is gone already makes our family closer and happier. Our 3 boys are getting along better too All of u you need to keep going. Only you can keep you sober.best wishes.i enjoy reading all the comments you leave.

Fatboy said...

Okay, day 5 w/o drinking. Dr. gave me some .25mg xanax for 5 days. doing some juicing to take mind off alcohol. Anybody have a good juice recipe? Oh by the way, doc said I was obese. so I guess I'll be Fatboy.

Givingitatry said...

I am just about done with day four. Everyone talks about withdrawal problems.So far I can't say I have any.Most of the time my alcohol consumption consisted of a couple beers after work and had a whiskey later in the evening. Seemed like over the last few years it was more a habit than I needed it.Can someone please explain to me if this is possible. People with alcohol problems or drug usually seem to be habit forming in many areas of there life.Most of my relationships were that way. I definitely functioned quite well,never missed work. I am feeling better so far but no side affects. The reason I am quitting is to see how easy it is. So far it has been fine, have not gone to my friends,who always sit and drink. Maybe this is a bad idea, but if I can not drink there then the rest is a lot easier I hope. Drinking has been a part of everything I did so it seems like I am ready for a change. This website is awesome if I or anyone is struggling. Good luck to all and keep posting.

mumof5 said...

I'm the wife of a problem drinker. It really helps reading all your comments so I can understand what he's going through. He is 41, very successful, but for the last 25 years he has drunk every day - to the point where he was knocking back over 100 units a week. It got to the stage his drinking was having a real impact on our family life (we have five kids) but he wouldn't admit he had a problem. He is well liked but there were so many times he embarrassed himself at parties, embarrassed the kids staggering around drunk in front of their friends. Both his uncles died of liver failure. We went to see one of them in the hospital last year and he was literally yellow. That was a wake up call but my husband still didn't stop. The final straw came when he went to collect one of the kids in the car and got home blind drunk. That was it for me. He could have been killed, my daughter could have been killed, someone else could have been killed. I told him that this is now an alcohol free house and if he wants to stay here he has to quit drinking. He went to the doctor to get his liver checked out at my request. The doctor told him to keep a drinks diary but I said if he was keeping a drinks diary that meant he was going to carry on drinking, he had to stop or find somewhere else to stay. He went to stay with his brother and his brother backed me all the way about his drinking which was amazing. Since then he hasn't touched a drop. It's been almost three weeks now and already he looks so much better. Our close friends have been really supportive, finding other things to do with him like playing tennis etc. But I need advice. What do you say to all the people who try to force a drink on him in social situations? Is honesty the best policy? I have never been a big drinker and I am not bothered about not having booze in the house, but when we go out to parties or the pub would it help him if I didn't drink either? He doesn't want to talk to me about it but I really want to help. I feel like I forced him into this but I don't want him to be dead at 60 like his uncles.

Anonymous said...

Wow mumof5, i feel like I'm reading my own situation. Bottom line,cut out the social events for now. Anyone who isn't suportting him on not drinking doesn't need to be in his life. It's a lil boring but totally worth it. I too gave my husband the choice to stay or go. We have 3 boys who are watching everything he does. I love my husband and want to help him. He has to want to do it as well.we have to be strong aand stick to our agreements on the drinking.please keep posting.

Fatboy said...

mumof5...My wife never drank when we went out. I did enough for the two of us. Remember that years of drinking can't be fixed overnight. He will need support whether he admits it or not. I'm on day 6. I am totally board. I need to fill that hole with something else cause I am an ADDICT. UGH, One day at a time right.

Anonymous said...

hi everyone
i am a 31 year old female.
just wanted to post (for the first time in my life) because for the last 7 years, i've been drinking every single day. in the last 2, it really got out of hand - i could easily drink 4-8 pints a day, or 2 bottles of wine, or half a bottle of vodka (easily twice more on the weekend)and think little of it. despite the permanent hangover, sweating buckets at the slightest physical exertion (think a 2 minute walk to the tube plus the ride, even in the winter would have me drenched in sweat, to the point where one day, an older gentleman silently passed me his handkerchief - oh, the shame!) and multiple run ins with and embarassing behaviour in front of family and friends, losing a job because of my drinking (it was in a pub, where there was just too much temptation) - nothing stopped me. i was (and still am) in a job and circle of friends where hard boozing is not just actively encouraged, but almost compulsory. but today, i am 4 days sober - which has not happened for longer than i can remember. not only that, but i have just returned from a mate's house, who, knowing both of us (or, rather, the past me) bought two bottles of wine for us to share. i tipped mine down the sink whenever he was out of the room. this blog has been my huge inspiration and joy over the past few days when i thought i could not go on and was on the verge of tears, panic, and running to the offie, thinking of every excuse under the sun to do so. so you are the first and only people that i have wanted to share this with (to be fair, no one who knows me would probably believe me anyhow). but just - thank you. a big, huge, massive thank you to everyone who posts on here, who has encouraged me to keep going and made me realise that i can get through this, one day at a time. i won't pretend that it has been easy - i think about having a drink, probably more times in a day than a man supposedly thinks about sex. but for the first time in a long, long time i believe in myself and am determined enough to make it to day 30 and beyond. one temptation, one day at a time; i won't let an inanimate object control me any longer - as one other blogger so well put it on here. so thank you, all. and keep going. we can do this. i hope this post can give someone even just a fraction of hope and strength and support that so many of your posts have given me.

Anonymous said...

I just happened upon this site and have read every story. Thank you for your brave and heartfelt words. I am a 58 year old woman who has had a very long relationship with Chardonnay. I always felt I was a social drinker until about 6 years ago. I found I was thinking about the next glass of wine way too much. My husband & grown children started making comments about my drinking and how I changed after "one too many.". That just made me more defensive and secretive about drinking. Now, after too many nights of passing out and too many mornings of feeling physically awful, mentally drained, I have made it through 6 days with no wine.
It helps me to hear about the feelings of exhaustion, anxiety and trouble sleeping. I will try all the tips you have suggested. Please keep posting and pray for me to see I am worth living a sober life. Blessings to all.

Anonymous said...

I went 63 days and then slipped into a 2 week, 4-5 beer daily binge until I felt like utter crap and decided to try again...on day 38 now and now I know the 'other life' is not what I want. To all of you trying...keep trying...it is really worth the effort to give it up...it's unbelieveable how good you feel! I get up in the mornings ready to tke on the world, breathe the lovely fresh air and feel the sun on my face...instad of staggering along, reaching for a coffee pot, full of anxiety about how to get through the day...what a waste that was! Hang in there, get support, they are out there...good luck!

Fatboy said...

Day 9, BP is up but am doing well. The boredom is something to overcome. Step 1 took longer than I thought. WOW, day 9!!! One more day I decided to not drink.

Anonymous said...

I quit on January 7, 2009 after almost 40 years of daily self indulgence. Good Family, good Job, good looking, great wife...had it all. I was 56 and struggling with a demon that had a death grip on my life...every night gin martinis in double size glasses that never went empty, followed by wine until I dropped. Traveled a lot drank alone...almost always woke up with my clothes on from the day before. I swore everyday that I was going to quit...just wait until next week...next week would come and I wouldn't quit. Lost my wife, my house,separated from my kids, i hid from my friends and turned within. I decided I had enough....I was shut in the dark for to long and I was crippled....I was starting to look old and tired...the alcohol, the monster was killing me. I stopped, but I had help. I spoke to my psychologist who advised me to quit immediately. He prescribed a low dose 25 mg. of a drug called Topomax once a day. He said it was pretty innocuous but it will help help with the obsessions about alcohol. He said that he wanted to see me each week to check my progress....he also said...I know you can do this. I stopped that day...it was a struggle for the first few weeks but not impossible. I drank lots of water, read, walked, called friends etc. I decided not to count the days but just make it to the next day....it was all working. within two weeks the craving was fading quickly...the Topomax was helping. I could go to dinner with friends and they would drink and I would pass...they would tempt me and I would refuse. I started limiting my social nights out (usually weekend dinners) however, when I did go out I did not drink. Looking back, I only remember that there is a tipping point where you stop thinking about the alcohol....It doesnt take long...a few months for me. You start to see your health improve remarkably..the fog lifts..you can think (like a mature rational person). My skin color improved my eyes are sparkling again, I sleep and dream pleasant dreams...I think and cherish life again. I look at drunks with such a different eye, I was one of them...I feel so thankful that I escaped the mental illness of alcoholism and depression that imprisoned me for so many years. I stopped the Topamax after about eight months.....I never think of drinking ever again...I just dont think of it. I look back and I could remember all the horrible things..Hangovers, blacking out, sleepwalking, insomnia, drama, sickness and the toll on my loved ones. My life is great today....I didnt utilize AA, I should have for added support....The road to recovery is not so easy...and it is not so hard. Pray often and everyday ask God for strength....It works...Never give up hope..never .It is so worth it. Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

Just marking Day 9 of sober! I am the Chardonnay lady and I have to say tonight was tough. Out to dinner with my husband and I really missed my wine. It helped to talk about it and now to post my struggles to all of you. I am doubtful that not drinking will ever be easy or feel normal to me. Guess I just have to focus on Day 10.

Anonymous said...

Dear Chardonnay Lady
I am the guy almost five years into recovery above...believe me when I say that not drinking will feel absolutely normal in less time than you can imagine. I t takes a few weeks before the feeling passes...you are getting there. Instead of counting the days, just look forward until tomorrow...its gets easier....avoid triggers, stay away from bars, learn different coping skills....put all your drinking friends on hold for as while. They will all understand. I only club soda mixed with cranberry juice when I went out to dinner. Many of my friends are proud of me and only wish they could stop. You could do this....try not to don"t count the days. Carlo

Anonymous said...

Thanks Carlo. I will try your suggestions and not focus on counting the days. I am "white-knuckling" it right now but you're right - what am I counting toward?? Club soda & cranberry sounds great. Thanks again for the support!
Chardonnay lady

Anonymous said...

I started drinking around 13, I partied all through my teens though when I was 18 I stopped for a year because I was getting in to much shit with the police and under age drinking fines. But by the end of my 18th year I started playing in a band and drinking was apart of that. I fast feel into it again playing the rock star it felt ok and was in some ways acceptable I even drank in the studio wile recording.. Bye the time I was 23 that all feel apart and I have not been able to pull my self back in the music because all my free time is put into drinking.. Look im not a low life and people I work with don’t see it I hide it well I like to sit home I never go to bars anymore and all I drink is light beer now .. For the most part I handle it well never having to much that I wake up sick and depressed anymore however it does happen time to time..I had a bbq to nights ago and had some friends over..it all went well till the end of the night at like 2am me and a good friend got into a fight and my coffee table got smashed also when |I woke up the next day I saw one of my prized guitars had a broken switch.. Now I don’t know how much this was my fault it was the environment I created.. I’m 32 now and I don’t want the rest of my life to be random kayos, Iv tried to stop before and I don’t drink everyday I should add more of a weekend thing but I always fall back into oh ill just get a 6 Pac then with in 2 weeks I might have had a night with 24 beer or more..Then comes the depression that I have now can last for days...Im gonna try and stop for good wish me luck I know it can be one and I know ill be happy so here goes nothing.

Anonymous said...

I am 43 years old and three days into my journey. Although I would probably be considered a functional alcoholic, I am tired of being less then best version of myself. I will try and use some of the tips mentioned above to help me succeed. Thank you for this blog and thank you all for posting and sharing.

Anonymous said...

I have stopped for three years now, I really had no choice since the last time I drank i was rushed to a hospital almost dead from a hemorage. I feel fine now though I still have the shakes beleive or not. This is simply due to nerve damage I did while drinking.It will never go away from what I am told. To those who are just starting to quit, hang in there, the rewards will not come soon or easily but trust me they will comw.

Anonymous said...

one more thing I forgot to mention, when I was in the hospital and finally able to walk and talk. I took a cell phone pic of myself in the condition I was in, IV's in my arm tubes everywhere I had a hole. Like I said Im 3 years sober now, but at the beginning of my recoverey I looked at that pic alot and it scared me sober.Thank jesus I never had a DUI or killed an innocent person. People , if you have a problem puttin the bottle down, get help, anykind, anywhere ! !

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I found this site, after looking for articles on the benefits of stopping drinking. Thanks to all for sharing your experiences.

Except for the rare occasion when I quit for a day or two, a week or two, or once for a couple of months, I have been drunk every night for almost the last 30 years. Usually, it's a bottle of red wine with dinner. It's enough to get me good and buzzed, but I wake up feeling horrible: congested, night sweats, mouth as dry as sandpaper, dull headache, just hoping I can get through the day, where right after work, I stop at the store to buy *another* bottle of red wine. I think drinking every night has made me slothful and downright lazy, plus I've gained about 25 lbs in the four or five years and can't seem to lose it.

I haven't warmed up to AA yet, but I definitely have a drinking problem and I want to rid my life of this poison. I drink out of boredom, loneliness, and the fractured thinking that red wine is "healthy!" Tonight is the first night I haven't had anything to drink in over a year.

Warning, this is graphic, but the truth: My worst moment was last year when I woke up in a pool of my own vomit and could not remember where I had been or how I got there, except that I went out the night before with a drinking buddy and had 5 glasses of red wine in fewer than three hours. I didn't drink for a whole week after that, but guess what? I eventually went back to drinking every night.

I rationalized drinking at 10:30 am one morning, saying that it was really like 1 pm because I had gotten up eight hours earlier. I can't believe how I deceive myself into drinking.

Thanks all for sharing your experiences. I read them all. I'll bookmark this site and return -- RedWineDrunk

Anonymous said...

I'm embarking on trying to "clean up" my lifestyle - startin first with abstaining from alcohol for at least 30 days. Though I, and my therapist, don't believe I am an alcoholic, I know I'm on a slippery slope and want to be proactive in keepin my relationship with alcohol in check.

30 days starts today.

Anonymous said...

Good luck everybody! I'm in week six (?) of no alcohol, and keep turning back to this website to see what's been posted. I feel companionship in your experiences. My drinking story is all of yours. My not drinking story is better sleep (i was surprised to find that i fall asleep instantly, although later), better dreams, better feeling, but yes, sugar cravings. I'm also now wondering whether i had an alcohol problem after all, and am thinking that alcoholism must be a sneaky addiction. I was expecting the DTs or something. But I know better than to fool myself, and just need to stay away entirely from alcohol. There is never "just one drink," whether out of boredom or habit or for the buzz... So good luck everyone!

Anonymous said...

One more thing that really helped me beside the Topamax and my therapist was writing in a journal. I wrote everyday about how I felt and it encouraged me to continue on. It was the only way I could reach inside myself and pull out my true honest feelings. Here I am five years later.... Clean and healthy.... Stepping outside the circle of alcoholism want easy but it saved my life. Acknowleding you have a problem is paramount to recovery. Each day passes and in time it becomes easier... Visualize yourself free, healthy and happy.
There is a such a goodness in inside of you that has been imprisoned by alcohol. Being sober does change your life. It softens you, it relaxes you, you can finally see, taste and experience the pleasures of the real world. Drunks have no clue this kind of world exists...they can't see themselves for who they are. I know....I was there...all those years of my life in a fog...I only wish I could buy back that time.....can't even remember most so it...what a waste.
Buy a composition notebook and keep a daily journal.....talk to God during the day....stay away from triggering events....put your drinking friends on hold remain positive... try not to count the days..visualize freedom and health....and never give up on hope. The road is shorter than you think. Carlo

Fatboy said...

The last 16 days has gone by. Some days better than others but still at it "one day at a time". Y'all keep at it.

Kentinlondon said...

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and feelings! It helps many many more people to keep on keeping on! I am one of those strengthened by your words on encouragement and strength.

Day 24 for me. It has been easier than I thought it would be. I reflect back on when I was limiting my drink and preparing for a dry day. It never happened Neil. Wen hru a bad two weeks drinking every moment I could. Then, after a particularly bad weekend, I said enough is enough. And I haven't looked back! It's been a difficult but good journey so far. I'm not drinking ever again. I have enough bad memories, and many more lacking that I know are out there. Hahaha.

What I struggle with is where are all the support groups and activities for all us non drinkers to partake in? I can't find any on the Internet or anything other than AA which I'm not a fan of. I'm a gay man, late 40s in Fulham area looking for coffee or walking or social events with other non-drinkers. Any advice or tips appreciated.

Chris said...

The first time I drank I was a freshman in HS, now i'm 31. I don't remember a weekend since the first time I drank at age 15 that I have been sober all the way through, until recently. At my worst, I could drink almost a liter of 80 proof in one night. I drank 5 or 6 nights a week. The days/night I would take off from drinking it would only be bc I felt like such shit from previous drinking. And my tolerance was soooo high, I was still able to function, or so I thought. About a month ago I was so hammered I fell down some stairs and severely sprained my ankle. I couldn't walk for days and missed a week of work. My rock bottom was being laid up, unable to walk, hungover, withdrawing, and physically and mentally pretty bad all around.
Since the smoke has cleared from that night I have been doing a lot better. im almost a month sober and even though that is a very short amount of time, I feel like a new person and have a completely different mindset on life/drinking...sounds funny, but the best thing to happen to me in the past 16 years was falling down the stairs...ive noticed some things that have been helping me and just wanted to share: plan your following day out the night before (and don't include drinking)..."ok tomorrow im going to work till 5, go workout, eat chicken for dinner, watch a movie then go to bed"...and guess what? you wake up not hungover!
:be aware that you have great days and you have terrible days with or without drinking...this is life, and being drunk is only going to make your bad days worse and your great days not as great in the long run
: don't be scared to spend money on something that is going to help you not drink, even if it might sting the wallet for a few weeks...this is an investment towards your sobriety! go buy a new dvd instead of a 12 pack, I bought a bike and have avoided drinking every single day I have gone on a bike ride, probably not a coincidence (and do the math on what you spend on alcohol each month)
:I keep a piece of paper of all the negative things that have happened to me because of my drinking "puked on friends carpet" "got in fight" "got DUI" "lost girlfriend" "never been sober for a full weekend in 16 years" etc...when you read these all at once the last thing you want to do is get hammered
:feel bad, but don't beat yourself up...im extremely ashamed of some of my past behaviors and this will never go away, but I cant let it get in the way of future progress, it helps to look at things as "that was the old me, this is the new me"
:don't be scared to admit to people you need help/support, people that love you ARE going to help even if its something small. and if your like me you hid your drinking to some extent and not having to hide anymore feels indescribable
--these are just some things that help me and I hope they help someone out there too, just like this blog has helped me. thank you to anyone that has shared themselves on here and I wish you all the best. stay positive! be determined!

Anonymous said...

I am waking up to Day 19 sober and just feel tired! I know they said you will feel tired and boy were they right! I had my first experience in a social setting with out Chardonnay and it was tough. So many triggers!! Proud of myself for sipping my club soda & cranberry juice and very happy to wake up clear-headed, but just NO energy. I am beginning to realize how deep my denial was that I didn't really have a problem and just enjoyed drinking my wine. Reality is a bitch!! Thanks to all that are sharing their stories - you are a huge help and inspiration!
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

I realised I drank too much at the age of 30 when my blood pressure rose through the roof and too many debauched evenings were taking their toll on our family which was 3 at the time. So I earnestly took up tennis and gym,changed my diet and quit hard tack in an attempt to try and replace a really fatal habit with 2 good ones. 15 years and 2 more beautiful daughters later, I am here on this blog. My hubby and I "unconsciously" (without thinking) put away a bottle and a half sometimes (most times) more of wine every alternate night. The other nights we have horrible hangovers and can't. We would but the pounding in our heads and the sad looks in our daughters' eyes are too much to bear. Besides, I have done a lifetime of "Madonnaring" with pathetic, drunken abandon on barcounters and at parties, more than a lifetime's worth of belligerent, boozy fight picking and DTMs, and alcoholic poisoning and intoxication. I'm on night 2 off the booze. Wish me luck!

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay Lady
Keep a daily dairy of how you feel . It helps so much....stck with it ....say a prayer every morning for strength and before you know it, you will emerge on the other end of the worm hole. It's a great gift fo be clean and Sober..... Good luck...

Anonymous said...

Today is my 2nd day not drinking. Many of the stories I have read are so similar to mine. I am 39, have 2 beautiful children and am married. I have always been a social drinker since the age of about 16. I have had many illnesses and operations (not related to alchol), and have been in constant pain for a very long time. Our house is also a 'party house' where our friends come and hang out. Everybody around me in our friendship cicrle consumes substantial amounts of alchol, especially on the weekends.

Alchol and me just dont seem to mix. I could see everybody around me drinking so almost tried to match them, with horrible consequences. But my drinking got worse and worse. I am a functional alcholic. What started out as social, then led to self medicating pain control, and then just pure drunkness. I could easily polish off a bottle of wine a night while sitting on my patio, i didnt need to drink with anybody anymore, i just enjoyed drinking.

I wanted to stop so many times, but it was so difficult with everybody coming over for drinks. But even with that i have to stop. My children are getting older, they are commenting about not wanting to look after mom and dad when we are drunk. I have been more and more black-outs, have crashed my car (luckily not hurting anybody), have taken sleeping tablets after a whole bottle of wine. I have upset my family and now enough is enough.

I am going to my first AA meeting today and hopefully i can keep this up. I want to be a good role model for my children.

Thanks for all your comments they have truly shown me that what i want to do is for the best and there are others out there that can understand what i am going through.

Anonymous said...

I thank you for the journal idea. I have been doing that sporadically and now think it will be beneficial to record my feelings daily. I do say my prayers because I want to get back in touch with my sober self. I am currently reading Allen Carr's book, "Easy Way to Control Alcohol." There is still a hope on my part that I think I can someday have a couple glasses of wine socially and be okay. Hmmmm...
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

3 days sober, lets see how it goes. thanks for all your comments, they have inspired me.

Anonymous said...

i have been sober for 3 days, thanks for your inspiration.

Anonymous said...

Thinking that I may be able to drink socially again after quitting was part and partial of my continued denial of my alcohol problem. It led me right into relapse again. After a few months of being sober and feeling amazing I tempted the devil with an occasional glass of wine on a weekend dinner date etc. by the end of the month I was back in full force drinking martins and downing bottles of wine. In a perfect world if humans didn't have obsessive behavior it may work. When you come clean with yourself and admit that alcohol is your kryptonite then you make progress. I don't know of anyone who stopped and resumed again as a social drinker. Give it up entirely....alcohol almost always wins. Good luck.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

This is the wrong blog for you. No soliciting please

Anonymous said...

Hello Everyone,

You are all very courageous, I congratulate you. I'm on day 7 and like others, very very tired and listless. Sleeping patterns completely out of whack and I feel very cross with myself and am anxiety ridden. Your comments have been inspiring and provide insights and tips that I will try to utilize. Hoping the brain 'fog' will lift soon. I have discovered my own triggers and try to either avoid them or re-assert mental control over them.

Good luck to all.

kindly

Lady pursuing a better life

Anonymous said...

Today is day 12 for me. Last night was the first night I had a decent night's sleep, where I slept for 8 continuous hours.

Over the last 12 days or so, I had some weak moments (stress-related) when I wanted to buy a bottle of red wine, but I got through the cravings, and did not give in to my addictive reasoning. I didn't want to give in to them like I had so many times before.

When I drank, I would always pass out in the evening about 8, get up 4 hours later, with a hangover and feeling like crap, and unable to get back to sleep for a few hours. Being able to sleep through the night feels great, it's the first time in a long time.

Other benefits have been: money saved, not wasted on red wine; not consuming 600 extra calories per night (6 five-ounce glasses of red wine); no foggy mornings where I feel dull and wondering how I will get through the day. I have been able to say "no" to wine when out with friends with dinner (three times so far!). I have been drinking more water. The ruddy complexion is disappearing, and my skin tone is beginning to even out.

I'm taking this one day at a time, and not trying to time stamp it. I got through yesterday, which means I can get through today.

Overall, it's been worth going through the anxiety and cravings, and every day gets just a little bit easier than the one before.

Good luck to everyone -- I wish you lots of success with not drinking.

RedWineDrunk

Anonymous said...

Well, after 23 days of no wine, I went out to dinner with "drinking friends" and told my husband I wasn't ready to just say no with this crew. I had 2 glasses of my beloved Chardonnay and an after dinner liquere. No "dressing drink" before we left and no more when we got home. I had a cup of tea and went straight to bed. My husband supported me and was ready to stop me if I wanted more. His love and support mean the world to me but I wanted to control my own impulses. I did. Don't know what any of this means. This episode did not seem to trigger a relapse back to my old destructive behavior. I am being honest. I was not going to share this with you, but what does that do for me? Don't want to live in a lie anymore. Stay tuned. My prayers are with all of you.
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay Lady....
Your honesty and journey is of value to us all. Many just relapse and are never heard from again. It would be a great help for us and for you to continue reporting your journey no matter where it takes you. I learned on a few occasions that relapse is all part of recovery. it happens...it reawakens our vulnerability and redirects our path. Good luck....

George Carman said...

I've been dry for 13 years, and I agree that 12 months was the last major hurdle before normality, whatever that is. Initially it was aim for an hour, then a day, a week, a month and so on.
Now I can't stick the smell of it even. To anyone struggling with it I'd say "There is Hope!"
It can be beaten. I've put my own feeble experiences together into a little website http://alcoholhelper.org
Take a look if you get chance.
And thanks for such an excellent blog.

Anonymous said...

42 now, was never a big drinker in college, drank occasionally and socially throughout my 20's. about 10 years ago I inherited a kegsystem and took a shine to it. I drank daily for about 5 years, probably drinking 10-12 pints per night on week nights, and more than that on the weekend. After a DUI I quit drinking for 6 months, but started back up on weekends and special occasions. I have had a few embarrassing situations since then, but last Saturday night I went to a bachelor party and after behaving inappropriately at a strip bar, I blacked out and wound up in a wooded area wandering unconsciously. After multiple attempts by my wife to call me, I finally answered my cellphone, but had no idea where I was or how I got there. I kept walking and eventually realized that I was about a mile from my house. I've been extremely remorseful since then. I think I have a problem, but others tell me I'm overreacting. My family thinks I'm fine. I know I need to stop. The sweating, palpitations, and anxiety alone are enough. Not to mention the fact that I can't account for a large chunk of time. I could have been killed by a car or falling in the woods. This is not the type of person I want to be. I made a decision to stop drinking on Sunday, but I know it is going to be tough since none of my support system seems to be taking it seriously.

Anonymous said...

You are doing what you know is right for you. That is really all we have in the end. I wish you the best of luck with your journey. There are so many like us out there and this support has helped me so much. I hated waking up and not remembering the last chunk of the evening before. Be kind to yourself and embrace each morning you wake up clear-headed.
It is well worth the struggle!
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Last month just before my anniversary I discovered my wife has been having an affair. After trying to talk to her about it she moved me out of the house and moved this guy in. On our anniversary no less. She says she loves him and wants to marry him. Says he is so amazing and she has a connection with him shes never felt before. They have been seeing each other now for 3 months and he has lived in our home for the last month. I've found out my wife has had several affairs in the last year. She says she wants a divorce and doesn't want to even try. I truly love my wife and i want her and my kids back. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win her back. In the last week I was able.to be intimate with my wife once but 10 mins into it she started crying and said she doesnt want to hurt people.i meant an old friend of mine who introduce me to great zuba,he is a great spell caster he was the only one who help me bring back my wife and now i am living with my family and we are all happy again all thanks to great zuba.for those of you who are passing through the same hell with your relationship contact greatzuba@gmail.com and win back your lover.

Anonymous said...

My first post was 28May. It was the beginning of my journey ...I lasted only 10 days and then went on a business trip(Paris), and fell down. Since then I am drinking less, but fear that I am slipping back down the easy road. Thanks for your posts and your inspiration here. Just coming back to the site and reading and writing makes me feel stronger.

-European alcoholic

Anonymous said...

This has been a great place for people to come and visit and to hear the stories of struggle with alcohol addiction. I have been sober fo many years now. It wasn't easy pulling myself out of the darkness, it was not without pain. It was either I die and let this hideous beast rip me apart from this world or I grab hold onto hope. It's been four years. My life has been saved. I was able to rid the demon that compelled me to keep poisoning my life....ruining the lives of loved ones caught up in my sickness.
I live a full life without the urge, without the thoughts, without need. I have learned to cope with my stressors by adapting to healthy choices...ie exercise, prayer, friends. I can go out to dinner with people who casually drink and am proud that I choose not to. I only regret that I did not do this years and years ago.
I read many similar stories on this blog about how good people are trapped and frightened by their own addictions. Many begin their journey but never return after a few days or weeks....only to relapse and disapear (just my observation).
I can only say this...only you know when you are truely ready to quit. Dont fool yourself and think you can be an occasional social drinker...you can't. When you quit drinking, you need to quit drinking forever.
Try to talk to God on a daily basis and let him teach you how to better love yourself. Pay zero attention to your sick and twisted impulses. Those impulses will lessen by the day when you quit. Once you are initially sober you will have tremendous inner strength to move forward. The longer you stay sober the greater your inner strength.
If you cant do this on your own please get help. Dont be afraid to ask to be saved....and don't be embarrassed. It's your life for Gods sake...we all are here because we all want the same thing. A life that's is free from alcohol and free from codependency. Good luck to all of you....you could do this.. Love yourself more than anything. Happiness is just around the bend.

Anonymous said...

Just managed to encourage my partner to see his gp . His drinking was getting out of control 3/4 bottles of wine each night minimum. The dr has said that within 2/3 yrs he will have a heart attack and obviously the length of his life is shortened. He has put him on vitamins B1 complex and thiamine to protect the brain as the alcohol will first attack his immune system but has also said not to stop drinking as his body is dependant on it and could cause fatal consequences. He has also seen a lady to help set up a plan But until the next meeting not to stop drinking as body will go into shock. I'm trying to stay strong and positive and I hope we get through this.

Fatboy said...

Well, I hit the 30 day mark. Still feel I am one sip away so I will keep at it one day at a time.

Anonymous said...

Fat boy ....Good work. The first 30 are the most difficult. It gets easier as your brain chemistry slowly changes back to normal. The fluids surrounding the brain will eventually become pure again and your cravings will diminish. It's a slow gradual change and everyday without alcohol makes a huge difference. You might want to stop counting days and just look forward until tomorrow. Nice to see that you resurfaced and reposted....it gives us all encouragement and hope. Thank you.....Carlo

Anonymous said...

Yesterday was day 1 for me. And not to bad until i picked my son up from taekwando and on the way home the urge to stop and get beer to bring home was almost unbearable....but i didnt do it!!! I actually slept good last night too....and woke up feeling pretty good. So....im on day 2 and hoping and praying i stick to it today as well. Just got to take it one day at a time as they say. Best of luck to everyone else attempting to beat this. We can do it!!!!

Anonymous said...

It is great to hear about everyone's recent progress. Congrats! Unfortunately, I do not have the same uplifting story to share. Yesterday I fell way off the proverbial wagon and am nursing the same awful hangover that is all too familiar.
I really would like a beer to steady the nerves, but I will write an entry instead. I am really disappointed in my behavior. I was feeling much stronger than I sabotage myself. One day at a time, right? Here goes - don't want this to get the best of me. Wish me luck!
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay Lady....Good luck to you. You seem to want this so bad. Relapse is part of recovery. Learn from it. Also realize that alcoholics cannot drink socially or train themselves to drink moderately. It's impossible....complete failure. You are on your way....hang tough it's easier than you think. Turn to God for your strength...he will give it to you. Keep in ouch.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your kind words and support. I need it! I am asking God to stick with me and show me the way. I so want to get to a peaceful place with all of this. Hang in there with me. Blessings to you.
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Great site. This is day 12 for me. I am 36 and up until 3 years ago was very aware and thus generally good at controlling my drinking (frequency and amount). But an extremely stressful and toxic job, combined with a "it's okay, I'm functioning (but not really living awesome)" helped me to cross the line into a problem drinker. Usually 4 - 6 beers, or 3/4 to 1 bottle of wine. Often more if going out or super stressed. Hangovers became the norm rather than the exception unfortunately. I never drank daily and often went 3 days without, but felt awful a lot, and thus let go of a lot of my healthy exercise and creative habits. Also my tolerance went thru the roof, and for the first time I could over indulge without throwing up. Prior to this if I had too much (say over served at a party) my body would reject it and I would be sick or feel sick, not fun! So, for the first time in my life I gained a lot of weight, especially in the mid section, and went from size 6 or 8, to size 12 pants! It really creeps up on you! Sadly if I was buzzed I'd say to myself, today is the last time! But it wasn't, until I finally got over all that and stopped 12 days ago. It helped immensely that I quit the high stress job this spring and had a lot of time to analyze and shift my lifestyle. It took a few months, but slowly I was coming out of the haze and was able to start being honest about my coping skills and habits. After slowing down quite a bit over these months I noticed that it was still very hard for me to control the over-imbibing when I drank. And a part of me still indulged in the "who cares, I can function" thinking, so I would pretty much guarantee a hungover if I drank. But the real clincher happened when a friend got a DUI after leaving our house two Fridays ago. It is very likely that she was actually under the legal limit and the breathalyzer was wrong (it happens and this is what her lawyer thinks too) as she was pretty sober, BUT it really made me feel so awful and bailing her out at 4am was a real wake up call. So I quit on that Saturday - did not have shakes, sweating or delirium, but definitely a low energy and moody first week. This second week has been WAY better, I started Zumba and eating well, and for the first time in ages I am waking up early and feeling consistently good! I have been reading this site and others and everybodys stories have really helped put things in perspective, and given me the confidence to keep it real and not indulge. My current goal is 30 days, no ifs, ands, or buts! It has been a lot easier to stop with a timeframe I can conceptualize, and while its a small goal I'm really excited about it. One more thing, I quit drinking 5 years ago for 6 or so months, and used the supplements recommended by Dr Perricone for amazing skin and detox (bought cheap versions at Trader Joes). Anyway they really helped clean me out and gave me tons of energy! Good luck to all of you, I'm proud to be here!!! ~ Sonoma Gal

Anonymous said...

Not here please.not a blog for u

Anonymous said...

I'm the mom of 3 boys, my husband stopped drinking for about. 1month and a half. He did good. Then we agreed to weekend limited drinking. Been working good. I suspect he has slipped a lil. Then it was his bday. He was to drink only a few. He didn't. I stopped him and now he's mad at me. I can' babysit him. I'm tired of working on his problem. He does good then we're back to the old ways.. i love him but don't know how much longer i can do this.Any advise? Should i just have him leave. He's been a functioning alcoholic for about 11 years.we are in our early 40's.

Anonymous said...

I want to share my experience with the australian heath help system. I drink alot! Got tired of turning inti a complete ass when drunk and finally grew courage to seek help. I drank so much one night I was actually planning and getting ready to commit suicide, I had had enough! I have issues from my past that I have not dealt with, just cover them up with alcohol. Long story short, the night "it" was going to happen, I went in to kiss my babies goodbye but when I looked at those little angels sleeping, something snapped me out of it and I passed out and woke up with the hangover of all hangovers!! I had scared myself shitless. I plucked up the courage to go see a gp and get help, they put me on to an addiction help place. It has taken 2 days for them to phone me back and I was told there was a long waiting list for appointments. I went back to my gp where I told them what was happening. I haven't had a drink for 3 days, I got offered valium. I said I dont want drugs I need a councellor. I am drinking because of my problems. I was told to not stop drinking by the addiction place cause it can harm you more, just cut down by a third until I get an appointment with them and then my gp said rubbish, just quit cold turkey and take the drugs. Im really pissed off!! So now I keep drinking and take the drugs until I wait for an appointment? Hello? I told them I had suicide intentions. Fucking unbelievable!

Anonymous said...

CWow! Sounds like a bad placce to be when u need help. Now take control of yourself. You have beatiful lil angels that might find u if u do hurt yourself. Can u leave them that way. Nothing is worth taking your life. I've learned that NO MATTER how bad things are,they can ALWAYS be worst.stay strong. Hope u get the help u need soon

Anonymous said...

Thanks to everyone who has posted their stories of alcohol use. It helps to see others work to rid themselves of this poison.

Today is day 23 for me.

So far, so good, but there have been a times when I have been tempted to drink, twice in the last week when out with friends.

No one questioned me when I ordered club soda/cranberry juice. (I thought everyone would say, "Why aren't you drinking?" I'm glad I stuck to the promises I made to myself to not drink. I also watched others drink -- all very interesting to see how people change as they drink more.

So far, I'm liking the mental clarity of not drinking, which is spilling over (ha!) into other aspects of my life.

When I was drinking a bottle of wine a night, most days I would be in a fog from the time I woke up until around noon. Then, on the way home I would think about buying a bottle of red wine to drink with dinner. This was a pattern for many years. I would drink, pass out, feel guilty the next morning. What a terrible mental prison to be in.

Yesterday was interesting. I had a fantastic day at work, and my first thought was to celebrate. I was listening to my thoughts on the way home and was surprised how I was trying to rationalize buying wine to celebrate getting through a tough assignment at work. Here's a sample of what I thought:

"You can have a glass or two -- you really did well on that project. What's the big deal, you can just stop after one or two glasses."

"No one cares if you drink. Just fix a nice dinner and the wine will taste delicious with it."

"If you have wine with dinner, no one will even know. Surely, one glass won't do anything."

My sobering up brain also chimed in:

"Are you crazy? You've not had anything to drink for 22 days, why screw it up now? You didn't drink yesterday, so why drink today?"

Now that I have 23 days under my belt, I'm going to try for 30 days. I'm actually *liking* when I say to myself, "I gave up alcohol; I don't drink anymore." I say it over and over.

Good luck to everyone. It's worth it to stop drinking to see how much alcohol really played a part in interfering with your everyday life.

I hope I get to a place where I can honestly say, "I don't WANT to drink." Not there yet, but day by day, I'm getting there.

RedWineDrunk



Anonymous said...

So glad i have found this site so encouraging to hear all the lovely stories of people who have beat the horrible habit. I myself have finally realised I was an alcohol dependant I have drank heavily since 16 and now nearly 30 the past 2 years being the very worst, I have hid the fact to family and friends that ive had a bottle of medium vodka every other night ! and weekends nights out maybe even a full one and this really upsets me .... i even hid the bottles so people wouldn't see dumping them in a near by local bin so family wouldn't realise just thinking about it is making me upset how I've neglected my life and chosen a horrible poison over everything being so selfish, its almost nearly ruined my life !! Half my life has been a hungover mess just battling through the days. Wednesday was the last night I drank and it will be my last, in my mind I was always justifying stupidly to myself why it would be a good idea, I thought it was an escape from the reality of things something happy I could do in my spare time, but now shamefully realise this was the cause I m going to do it this time it's gone on for way to long thinking of how healthier i will feel mental clarity i will have and money in my pocket and do actual entertaining things i will remember sounds good like a good plan xxxx keep strong everyone we ll do this together xxxx

Ex vodka lover

Anonymous said...

God help me stay clean and sober today.

Anonymous said...

its been over a year since this post from you. I hope u beat the beer and ur marriage still in tact along with any other relationships such as siblings etc. my brother is an alcoholic and its slowly taking him further and further from us.:( I love my brother so much and we were best buds the best friends outside of our spouses. now im watching him even neglect the love of his life ( his daughter). I hurt for me, I hurt for her bcus she us only 7 and has suddenly over just a 4 month period came to an awareness of his " sickness". I hate this monster of alcoholism. He goes home from work daily drinks 4-6 on work days then when off he drinks pretty much a 12pk each day hes off which is 3 off days. he might skip 1 day every 8-10 days and say u would be proud of me sis I didn't drink anything at all today. on off days he drinks starting at 7am,(naps) for 2-3hours then gets up for coffee bcus hes so groggy then drinks more alcohol stays online half the night with women then passes out wakes up groggy and starts over the same pattern. I started informing him I was worried and he admits he is an alcoholic but is distant now. I dont know what to do to help him

slimwhiteduke said...

Hi everyone,

In case anyone's interested, I've just recently stopped drinking and have started a blog about it. If you feel like motivating me feel free to comment and give me a kick in the backside.

Here's the address:

http://slimwhiteduke.blogspot.de/

Keep up the good work everyone.

Anonymous said...

Hi There,

i do not drink every day but when i do drink i wont stop for days or weeks at a time. I start my therapy tomorrow. I have tried the moderation road where i promise myself only 3 drinks but that usually ends with me waking up not remembering anything and after spending loads of money. I am 35 and think i have to admit to myself that i can not drink in moderation so for this reason have to stop.WIll be looking on here for motivation. Any tips would be much appreciated.

Thanks and good luck to all of you.

Regards

Anonymous said...

I'm on day 6. 6 days ago I came to the realization that drinking was not pleasurable anymore. That, and the fact I don't want to be dead at age 65 like my mother. I don't have any health problems yet but am afraid that they are right around the corner. I am 54 and have been drinking since age 15. The amount has gradually increased in the last 8-10 years. 1/2 a bottle of wine on weekdays and more on weekends or out with friends. I am definitely a binge drinker as is my husband and most of our friends. I am feeling good. Sleeping well and on an even keel emotionally, but I am obsessing over this. Not drinking is the only thing I think about. I have not had a craving and not been tempted. My husband is still drinking and I am not interested in it at all. I was fine out this weekend at a concert and a bar drinking cran/soda. It was easy.I just keep wondering if I can really keep it up. It's so hard for me to picture myself never drinking again. It's what I want but after doing it for so long I wonder if this is really it. It is so nice to wake up feeling good, not sluggish and bloated. My constant scratchy throat and chest tightness has disappeared. I am also reading Allen Carr's book The Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Most of the things he says are so true and make so much sense to me. I'm hoping that book gives me the extra boost I may need. Also reading this blog and seeing the struggles others have. I have not told any of my friends yet.They will find out soon enough as soon as we are socializing. I am curious as to what their reaction will be. Good luck to everyone. I will keep checking in Karina

Anonymous said...


You sound much like me. I have still not been able to give up drinking in social situations (3x in 5 weeks)but it is getting so much easier in the evenings at home. Truly beginning to not miss it. Carr's book was a help to me as is this blog. I know this is going to be part of my journey and I pray to stay honest and real with myself and all of you. One day at a time rings so true!
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay Lady, the true test for me will be early July. Wedding anniversary out of town with friends. Usually the wine is flowing. We will see if I can keep it together. I know this group of friends will support and encourage me but I think it will be tough. I did tell 2 other friends today. I feel like if I tell people that will help me continue abstaining.
Karina

Anonymous said...

Red Wine Drunk here --

When I first commented on this blog and used that moniker, it was true. Typing it now seems overly harsh and a little strange. I should be kinder to myself and realize none of us is perfect. I don't want part of my identity to carry the label "red wine drunk." I just happened to learn to use red wine to mask my feelings! Now, I'm learning how NOT to use red wine to cope. I was deluding myself thinking that the red wine accentuated my meals. What I was really doing was self-medicating my feelings of loneliness, everyday stresses and frustrations.

It's been 28 days since I have had any red wine. I usually drank a bottle of red wine per night. I would start around 5:30 pm and drink until 7:30 and then pass out. While drinking, I would often eat a WHOLE pizza. A few times during long weekends where I had a Monday off work, I drank a whole bottle of cheap $15 champagne as early as 9:30 in the morning. For some reason, I never gravitated toward the hard stuff or beer, but alcohol is alcohol. No wonder I gained more than 25 lbs. over the course of four or five years.

When I thought about giving up red wine, I didn't think I was going to be able to last more than a few days.

Yet, I'm approaching 30 days! It seems like a miracle.

Here are the benefits I experienced by not drinking:

--No hangovers, or congested feeling (I think I was allergic to the sulfates in red wine)
--My skin tone is evening out; some of the visible facial capillaries are disappearing
--No night sweats, or dry mouth during the middle of the night
--No feelings of guilt for drinking too much
--Don't feel "powerless" to change my drinking
--Feeling more positive overall
--Work performance has improved slightly
--No feelings of paranoia that people were thinking I was a "drinker."
--I'm drinking more water
--I'm eating less in the evening (I would consume upwards to 1500 calories at night)
--I lost 10 lbs. in one month
--Wasted money on alcohol -- 30 bottles of wine per month -- I don't even know how much that is, as it was always when I bought groceries. It's frightening to see that's how much I drank in a month's time -- and I did it for a period of several years.

Compared to what I had to give up to "enjoy" a bottle of wine with dinner, I think it's clear how the advantages of not drinking outweigh those of drinking.

As I approach the 30-day mark, I will take the next few days to be very kind to myself and forgive myself for the years of self-neglect and poor decision making around alcohol.

To others: post your progress on the challenges and successes. We can all learn from one another.

So far, it has been worth it to disentangle alcohol from my life.

RWD




Anonymous said...

Dear RWD
Thank you for your honesty and the chance to watch your your journey. I have stopped several years ago and indeed went through the same exact stages of physical and emotional changes. The longer I abstained the stringer I became. All of your positive changes...no hangovers, clearer skin, guilt etc is so true. Brain chemistry changes slowly and you can slowly take back your mind. The alcohol had kidnapped our brains, our morals. It is so wonderful to be free from all of that. I have never been happier...30 years of slavery to alcohol. I was imprisoned inside a bottle.
As time goes on the thoughts of drinking will gradually pass.. I go to dinner with friends who are normal drinkers and Ii am proud that i dontt drink. I am more fun sober as I was drunk...
Ask for strength everyday .....take vitamins, pray when you can, excercise and start to love yourself more than ever. I never found boredom in not drinking...there was always so much to do as I was transforming my life. Keep up the good work...the rewards are precious.

Anonymous said...

I didnt want to link this comment with any of my accounts but my name is Dave. A little background: I have drank vodka (because I had the delusion that it smelled less) almost exclusively for over 15 years. Some days i would drink 2/3 of a liter, pass out, wake up a few hours later, and then drink another 1/2 liter. My wife always knew because I reaked of ketosis in the morning, which is what happens when your body is only metabolizing alcohol.

Anyway, I have quit several times mainly for health reasons as this cannot be good. I have always been a functioning alcoholic, mainly because the wife would go to bed pretty early and then it was on.

The main point I wanted to make is that it does not take a year to feel better. Maybe not normal, but defintely better. I use antabuse, it takes the decision away and really sets you free. When I get the urge, "I cant, I'll get sick" and thats that. Got to get on with life.

After a month, your energy will increase and you will stop thinking of alcohol as much. After 90 days, your body and brain start going through some changes. You will start to see the benefits of not drinking. Lose some wait, accomplish some things around the house. Gain some dignity with the neighbors who think you're a bum. It's all a process. Be well friends and do not be discouraged. You will feel better and stronger soon, and that is an awesome thing.

Anonymous said...

Man, has it been hard to not have a drink the past couple of days. Late afternoon and I am struggling! Don't understand why it seems like the first week again but it does. Six weeks today with a couple of relapses.
I need to get out of my head and just exist. Thanks for listening!
Chardonnay Lady

dani said...

It's been 5 days for me. I'm 26 and I guess I would be considered "dual addicted" but I think my main problem is drinking...I've been drinking every day for the last 6 years... Binge drinking before then though, whenever possible. These past three years have been hell and I've only had alcohol and pill popping to numb all these feelings of worthlessness and self doubt...I actually didn't realize I was numbing myself until yesterday when I had a terrible break down and all I could think is "I don't want to NOT be numb"...I haven't eaten in 5 days...Well, I tried yesterday but it came right back up. I haven't slept more than 9 hours all together in the past 5 days. I can't breath...my anxiety is the most overwhelmingly painful thing I have ever experienced right now. I keep getting fevers. I can't think straight...my mind is so foggy. I have a few xanex pills sitting on my nightstand and I know taking one will make me feel just THAT much better but somehow I keep talking myself out of it...but I'm craving it, I'm craving beer...I'm craving coke and percocets and even meth!! I haven't even touched meth in almost ten years! I was able to kick that nasty habit on my own, and I was able to kick a coke addiction on my own last year...so why am I having so much trouble with alcohol and pills? I feel like the scum of the earth right now...When does that feeling pass??

dani said...

Sorry same girl who just posted (duel addicted 26 year old)...Also I have been trying to hang out with my friends so I'm not sitting at home by myself with my exclusive pity party...but they all drink around me (which I would never ask them NOT to)...but there are just so many triggers...last night I ran into my ex boyfriend (we've only been broken up a week) and he was with a new girl already...i feel utterly lonely too...I feel like I don't really have support which makes me hate myself that much more...what do I do?

Anonymous said...

Chardonnay lady
Stopping is easier for some than for others. It depends on your level of addiction. I might suggest that you schedule an appointment with a physician and speak to him about your problem. He may suggest a program..which are paramount to behavior changes. He might even prescribe a low dose of Topamax which help with the psychological need and craving for alcohol. It also suppresses your desire for food. It was the key element along with the therapy that helped me quit and stick with it just 5 years ago. Sometimes you just have to admit that you are powerless to alcohol and asked for help....I couldn't do it by myself... I am so happy and grateful.

Anonymous said...

What honest people here. I read a lot of posts. I am 63 and am in awful good health for what I have done to myself. (alcohol free for 2 years once). I noticed some things said. One that our drinking is a symptom of other issues. I firmly believe this to be true. I have been to AA meetings and have seen much undiagnosed depression. I think many of us, not all, who go the way of substance abuse have issues that we can't handle very well. With me I will get so tense, I can't wait for that warmth to hit after a few swallows. But each time I quit, over time I start to feel really REALLY good; good enough for a damn drink! I am that dumb. Oh shit, not this crazy cycle again! Oh let us all get depressed together. This is a battle for our lives I believe.

Anonymous said...

Exactly right....you feel good and think. "Hey I am different now I can handle this". The truth is that you are not different when you open up the bottle and let the demon out.
The reason it is difficult to truly quit. ( not impossible) is that alcohol addiction is linked to a part of the brain that controls your mental reward system. It is a very powerful mental process and difficult for many people to escape . You feel shitty...you reward yourself with a drink to feel better. When you do good or accomplish a specific goal...you reward yourself again. There are many ways the subconscious conjures up ways to reward itself. You become the victim because your brain is basically hi jacked.
It took many months of therapy to overcome this. Once you realize the patterns and understand how this all works you can eventually break free for good. The cycles of stopping and relapsing back are part and parcel of the impaired brain controlling your most primitives instincts.
There is always hope...once you realize what is really going on inside of you and with some determination and behavioral coaching (therapy) you can beat this. The longer you deprive your brain of alcohol the easier it gets. As you grow healthier and stronger you can better rationalize your thoughts. There is no need to reward yourself using poison.
Over four years clean...thanks to God and those who helped me when I realized I needed it.

Anonymous said...

Fat Boy, Chardonnay Lady, SlimWhiteduke, RWD, Dani
hang in there....it gets better by the day..slow and gradual change.
Slimwhiteduke....cant get into your blog to comment. hope you are still clean. best wishes to all Carlo (5 years back back from hell)

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 437   Newer› Newest»