Monday, February 28, 2011

This is how life goes by.

In the little moments.  Just after noon on a Monday in late February.  It doesn't make a sound.  It certainly doesn't come to tell you that you've won a prize.  Nobody is waiting to give you good news at home.  There's a lot of effort in the rear view mirror, and the car still runs like shit. Welcome.

See, I still feel that, everyday, I'm not learning, I'm not engaged, and I'm horribly distracted.  Maybe that's not true on some level.  I'm incredibly bored, in short.  Really, really bored.

I do get a lot of work done at home (mostly writing and reading).  I work at sustained medium-paced tempos, and feel very good afterward.  But I'm wasting time here.  Wasting it for what?  I've got a friend.  He's quitting his job and going on a bike journey.  We had plans, the two of us, to do just that thing, once upon a time.  Once upon a time.  He's making an affirmative step toward happiness in the near-medium term.  I reject the idolized notion of hard work as suffering, and suffering without hard work is intolerable.  That's where I sit now, dazed and unedited.

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