Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Thank God I Made It To Where I Am Today

What a pathetic and shallow post title!

What little punk of a kid would risk the shallowness of a greeting card.

Where else do you think you could ever be, besides where you are, anyway!

Well...  I'll tell you where.  I could cease to exist.  I could have vanished.  I'm not living an out loud life these days, trying to imprint my existence on other people or the world as much as when I felt I could do such a thing, and I'm certainly unaligned in political battles.  I see turf wars with a wary eye.

What I've just accomplished, at this moment, is a very decent roast of coffee in my home oven, and some opera, prepared laundry, written a few words in a journal that I'll type out henceforth, and worked a decent day at my decent job.

I don't need more, necessarily.  There are other facts that I'm leaving out.  I've been losing weight, fast.  Since I stopped eating all sugar, it has been like I'm in a new body.  Huge amounts of energy that were not available in the past.  Consistency of sleep.  Exercise.  A loving partner.

But I'm well aware that I could have ruined it.  Seriously ruined it.  And "it" to a lot of people is perhaps something to be looked down upon.  I however, am growing to cherish it a lot more than I ever thought I could.

Because our decisions do matter.

And I was very close to  making flip decisions that would impact me for the rest of my life many, many times.

And I'm glad that I didn't make certain decisions, and that other decisions didn't hurt me as much as they could have hurt me.

And I'm glad I have the courage to stick to something for once.  I've NEVER been able to stick to anything.  Just stick to it, I tell myself, and I tell you, readers, and stick and stick and stick.

Queue webbed feet.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for your blog. I have been reading through it, reassured there is a life on the other side. I've been quit now completely three days (after a week of tapering) and I feel terrible.....headaches, dizzy, tired, all the consequences of my low-life still looming. Knowing this may be my new normal in varying degrees for 8 months or so was helpful to know. Xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

OMG I could be the previous commenter...LOL...I have found so much of your blog to be insanely helpful...I love how everything pertains even when you write about other things besides quitting. THANK YOU