Thursday, February 7, 2013

Comment By Anonymous

The most common comment by far, mind you.

And here's one:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "What Happens When You Stop Drinking. How Long to ...": 

Im 21, and have been drinking regularly (mostly every weekend) since age 13 and now regularly has turned into most week nights as well. My friends and I usually drink for every occasion. Whatever we're doing we've always looked at as an opportunity to drink. After puking (which I never do anymore) and making some other really poor decisions 2 Saturdays ago and experiencing one of the worst hangover of my life--which lasted two days-- I realized I was sick of living like this and letting a substance make me feel so shitty. I have really bad anxiety the days after I drink even if I'm not that hungover, and I feel drowsy and not up for anything. I decided I didn't want to let alcohol be the center of my life. I haven't gotten drunk in twelve days and as bad as it sounds, this is the longest I've gone since several years ago but I can already see a difference. My anxiety has went down, my face has cleared up, I'm happier, and have more energy. My whole outlook has changed. I do get antsy at night though and have cravings but I try to immerse myself in something else, like a book or homework. I want to learn to have fun without needing alcohol. I know I can be a fun person without it but I always just chose to drink and be the life of the party. I don't feel like I need to do that anymore and I don't think it's worth the hangovers and the anxiety and the money. However, being at school makes it very hard. This is my last semester of my senior year of college and drinking is the culture here. I'm also on the rugby team. Drinking is pretty synonymous with the sport. My friends are all going to give me a hard time but I really want to stick to this for the sake of my health, my life. Advice? 

Advice here is that you can make it through your senior year for the sake of your life, as you say.  If you're asking whether you have a problem drinking, well, it sounds like you know that you do.  I used to drink for the sake of going to parties, because I did experience heavy layers of shame from not being as social as I thought I should be, whether that meant going to the party in the first place, or talking to people at the party.

Don't expect your rugby friends to understand that you're trying to get and stay sober.  You don't have to explain it to them.  They don't really need that kind of access to your emotional inner-self.  Instead, tell them the doctor gave you orders not to drink.  Tell them you've been prescribed medication, or that your liver is already showing problems.  Tell them to fuck off.  Tell that you're on your way to meet buddha!  Tell them they can drink endlessly if they choose.

See, what I'm trying to write around here is the funny idea that your friends won't change when you stop drinking.  It just isn't true.  If you're not drinking all weekend (and week) with those friends, your relationship to them will change.  It just will.  It is unstoppable.

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