Monday, January 7, 2013

A Month of Sobriety? Guess again.

At first I thought, because I'm a selfish prude who is overly optimistic, that maybe, hey, more folks are checking out my blog because of the blog itself . . . then I realized, hey, wait, it is 2013!  2013 folks, that year that you never thought would come.

More important, the time when everyone decides to diet or stop drinking for some amount of time.

Listen folks who want to stop for a month: I'm not really feeling you.  A month is a good plan.  I like it.  I used to sing that song myself.  But if you've got the inclination to go for a month, perhaps you should ask youselves why?  I mean, what is your average daily intake of alcoholic drinks?   Myself, I used to drink at least 5 a day, on average, see.  That's a lot.  I didn't think it was so much.  On friday and saturday it was 10-15 each day, so that's let's say 21 for easy division.  That's already an average of 3 drinks a day.  That's a lot right there.  Don't believe me?  Think it is normal?

The CDC, the chronicler of all things DEATH RELATED, puts "heavy drinking" in the average of 2 a day category.

Anyway, either you want to stop a month for relatively shallow reasons, in which case I have very little empathy for you, or you have a real problem, and it is bad enough to get into the motto of a day at a time, but since you don't know that yet, it is a month, for one time.

Either way, it is good to abstain for any amount of time.

I tried for a year.  Now it has been over 2.5.  I realized I can't drink.  Everyone is different.  How many months do you want to stop to see whether you're the exception?  I mean, we're all so fucking exceptional, aren't we, that we can play the month-to-month game and "just try it out" sort of like something that's popular and trendy and something to be talked about with colleagues and whatnot.

Listen, for those hard core drinkers out there.  When you get sober, do not talk to your colleagues at work.  Don't tell them you're trying some fancy experiment.  Don't tell them anything.  Just another normal day.  They don't need to have the dirt.

Sobriety isn't a cleanse.  It isn't a fucking enema (as wonderful as they might be).  It isn't spiritual enlightenment.  Most days it is alienating.  It is hard.  It is not fun and dandy.  Fun and dandy can go fuck themselves.  I'm sober, and I'm sticking to it.  If you want to do something for  a month, eliminate sugar from your diet.  Try being nice to your parents every day.  Talk to them instead of treating them like chores to be accomplished.  Try not to think lewd thoughts about your neighbors.  Eliminate all pornography from your lives.

Discipline does bring freedom, but most people don't want freedom.  They want to go into the office on a monday morning and gossip, and pat themselves on the back for being better than their peers.


Anonymous said...

Thank you.

Johnny said...

I thoroughly enjoy your posts. Do you reply to emails?