Friday, August 9, 2013

Comments By Anonymous- "Help a Man Out?"

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "What Happens When You Stop Drinking. How Long to ...": 

hey now...been at this 'trying to get sober' thing for a while now...I am, I guess, what could be considered as a highly functional alcoholic. Professional employment, good family life, dogs...blah blah least 12 beers a day for the past 10 years, but now over the whole's just that I simply cannot...I quit for about 5 months and thought I had it licked...hell, even did an iron distance triathlon in the interim (exercise has been huge all my life). Now, as you can probably figure out, the wheels have fallen off...Naltrexone is in the house, but i'll be damned if I want to do it that way....needing a bit of strength, and would like to find a source to keep up with folks on a consistent basis (accountability works well for me). Did the AA thing but, even after months of meetings, never got comfortable with the whole thing....can somebody help a man out?? 

Hey, Man:

Here's me, someone who has been sober for over 3 years, helping you out. Are you ready?   If you sense a bit of bewilderment in my tone, I'm sorry.  You did a triathlon in the interim?  Great!  I'm happy for you. You've been doing triathlons with 12 packs for years, so good to switch out one for another in some respects. 

1. Get your nutrition right.  That's first.  Are you eating enough protein?

2. Don't expect the world to bow down at your efforts.  This is a big one.  You're not a model of ideal behavior because you've gotten sober.  You've simply corrected a major character flaw that most people don't have.  Don't pat yourself on the back for that.  You're basically just getting up to speed.

3. Don't expect bliss and perfection.  Bliss and perfection only happen when you're too drunk to know the difference

4.  Be sober now and expect that it won't be ideal.  The world has lots of details and stuff has been happening when you've been out drinking (not everyone has been out drinking like you).

5. Time to grow up, emotionally-speaking.  What they say about being "stuck" at the emotional age of when you started drinking is true.  You may have even gone backwards.  How do you "repair the dissonance?"  Time and effort and maddening amounts of self-doubt, and time and effort and not giving up.   

6. Stop thinking in terms of your whole life or everything, or everyone, or anything so blandly opaque and abstract.  

7.  Drop all your previous principles, in other words.  Expect to remold them slowly.


Anonymous said...

Well done!!

Anonymous said...

This is my first comment on one of these sights, but I am ready to start dealing with my problems:

Hi, my name is Laura, and I am an alcoholic. I am a 26 year old single mom that has been drinking since 18 (minus 2 years of pregnancy. Started off with a 2 to 3 a night, but then that turned into a 6 pack, and that 6 pack turned into a 12 pack. I’m 110 lbs and I can tell the physical side affects of drinking is making me absolutely crazy. My day does like this:
Wake Up, blow my nose for like 20 minutes and cough
Put shades up because the sun is terrible on the eyes after a night of drinking
Headache-This lasts till about 2 PM
And then irritation for the remainder of the day because I’m ready to tie one back on
Then later that night- I start the same vicious cycle and I’m happy and don’t care about lifes difficulties
So I’m making myself more depressed because I am confined to this retarded routine and because I can’t leave my place without having a DD. This means I basically turned into a closet drunk. EVEN MORE DEPRESSING.

I got a DUI 2 years ago

I feel more reckless now than ever, don’t know how this feeling is going to subside. How can I be happy again, the way I was before I had a drink.

My life sucks: My ex-husband, father of both of my girls and high school sweetheart, put me thru hell with his addictions and criminal behavior. I am nothing like this, I do smoke pot, but no other drugs (this helps with my ADHD and Anxiety in all natural way without depressants). Well after all the mental, physical, and verbal abuse I had enough. He was at the point of stealing our bread money; I am talking $1,000’s at a time. I was on the street begging people to help me to get food for my girls and I. ME! I have am a manager at a gas company and have a 4 year business degree and was begging for shit on the street. WTF. He died last year, which just fucked up my life even more.

So I am supposed to cope with my background, and it’s like a little drinking makes me think I am wanted and I have a man. But in reality, I don’t have shit. I will never be able to have a normal relationship with a partner if I don’t quit drinking. It has caused guys to not want to date me even when they really like me because I told them I won’t change (and I am a not a bad looking girl at all).

The only way I will change is for myself, no one else. Well I was sitting on my porch last night doing the usual, and I started crying. I am not doing right by my life, and I know there is something better than this. But you know, I really just want to die. I don’t feel like this feeling will ever go away, and I have nothing to look forward because that bottle is gone.
I am giving this blogging a shot, I KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM AND ITS GOING TO KILL ME!