Sunday, November 4, 2012

Fighting With Spouse -

I had an incredibly incendiary fight with my spouse.  Objectively, fights are almost always architecturally similar.  One party feels slighted, and ramps up a slight conflict into something more major.  The other party now feels slighted and doesn't back down.  The two parties race at each other until words used are not there for the utility of communicating anything related to the original statements that triggered the event.  No.  Instead, they're pure hate speech.  Purely devised for maximum carnage.

It really works, generally, too, because spouses have access to information that is, well, as close to whole, if not whole, than even the infamous I.

Just for the sake of it:  It isn't pleasant to fight and I don't get kicks out of it.  I don't like it very much at all, and it generally erodes trust, even when the fight is patched up a bit.  Fights are not really useful machines.  They are slug fests of epic raw primitive urges to conquer and be insanely self-referential, while never ever backing down.

And while I respect the ideal of not backing down, not drinking as taught me to update my beliefs faster than when I drank, and recognizing that the net result of fighting is a worse loss than the gain from being alone and principled.

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