Sunday, February 19, 2012

What Happens When You Stop Drinking. How Long to Normal?

This is a bit of a tricky question.  Partially, the answer depends on how long you've been drinking and how much you typically drink (and how frequently).

Assuming you're a bit of a hard drinker, though, I'll be honest with you: it takes a good year to feel really straight and normal again.  And don't think that once you do, you can start drinking again.  Because if you do, and trust me, or go find out yourself, you'll be right back to your old self in about a week!  All that hard work for nothing!

I know a lot of people don't want to hear that it takes  a year to be normal.  But consider the fact that most hard drinkers have already been drinking many years, changing, as it were, the chemistry in their very brains--the very brains that try to develop under the stress of booze and/or other drugs--and that large aspects of our personality has been coded, if you will, through the filter of drugs and alcohol, so much so that normal ceases to exist in a sober context.  Which is why I think, at least, that it takes a year to sort of stand on your own two feet again and look around and ask yourself what you'd actually like to do with your life instead of just fuck off all the time, and/or hurt those close to you, damage your own capabilities, not act on potential, and generally just become a full on low-life.

Yes, I think it takes a year.  By the way, I've been sober a year and almost 8 months.

And therapy of some sort might be in order.  Many drinkers have to really get used to the idea that they are not the center of all existence, and that their needs, however pressing previously, have actually been quite banal, animistic, and immature.

Anyway, for about 2 months you will be exhausted.  Don't fight it.  Just try to find a place of comfort to exist from within the sea of exhaustion.  Slowly, it will fade.  Try to do things slowly and in small increments.  I can't stress that enough.  The good things in life, like learning a language, cannot simply "be" accomplished in a day or two.  They take a lot of time (okay, if you are between 4 and 6 years old, language acquisition is not the best example, but I'll assume nobody is of that age anymore).

So, take a deep breath.  Take a walk.  Make a cup of tea.  Watch your habits.  You will have anxiety upticks, of which smoking and coffee and sugar might seem ameliorative or anodyne, but in fact, they contribute to these pangs of death, and I'd say cut them out for a while if possible.  Bottom line is that you can learn to manage anxiety without crutches, but the transition to sober will produce discomfort in the short and medium term.  About 8 months in, you'll start to feel better.  A lot better.  If you weren't a very hard drinker, this will happen in a month or two.   Anyway, good luck to everyone.  I certainly don't have all the answers, and have learned that my intuition isn't always my friend.

589 comments:

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Anonymous said...

To Answer your question from my perspective and being sober since 2009, the reality is that you are never the same after your battle is over. You look back not because you are obsessed with the life you had but because you need to be reminded of the darkness. You also feel as if recovering alcoholics are your brothers and sisters and you owe them the support and experiences of our own journeys. Recovery is a struggle of physical and emotional uncertainties and any advice and Assistance from those who broke through to sobriety is golden. Yet we look back and see ourselves in your recovery and it reinforces our reality and continues to give us strength to stay clean.
You never fully recover...you become a different much better person. For me it was difficult in the beginning...if I didn't have the support an love of the people around me it would have been much more difficult. Please hang in there like everyone says...the freedom will com to you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, okay that makes more sense. You first said you had been sober since 1999 not 2009. Appreciate the "pay it forward" aspect of this process.Thanks for the encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Just finishing day 11. Feel amazingly good and strong. I seem to have lost all desire for alcohol. I keep waiting to have a strong craving but haven't yet. Honestly, I just think I was ready to quit. The last time I had a glass of wine I was thinking how it just didn't taste good anymore and I was so tired of it. The only physical difference I notice is that I've been getting headaches since I quit. Not everyday and not really bad but enough to notice. Maybe it's not connected. Hope everyone else is doing well.

Karina

Anonymous said...

So here is an interesting behavior change ever since I have been clean and sober. maybe someone can relate or maybe it is just me. I have quit drinking on my own in 2009. It has been great and I would never go back. I feel great however, lately I have become more and more reclusive. Although I will go to dinner with my family and some co workers (their drinking does affect me I am beyond that) I cannot stand to be in the company of many people. I will not go to weddings, family reunions, parties etc. I mostly stay home and read and blog. I now find being around people to be exhausting I cannot listen to trite conversations any longer. I never had this issue when I drank. I couldn't tear myself away from others. Anyone have a similar experience...this has been a gradual change. Big family reunion coming up next week (haven't seen these people in many years) and I declined the invitation. They are all two fisted drinkers.

Anonymous said...

Two weeks clean and moving forward. It is tough but I am determined. Good luck to all.

Anonymous said...

i have been leaving comments for this board but they are not being published...I think is is down. Hmm?

Anonymous said...

6 months now. Can't believe I have managed this. 95% of the time it feels like the best thing I ever did - probably saved my own life. But there is the 5% still - the occasional longing, sad thought - the " wouldn't it be nice" thought. It quickly passes though. At 46 I now have 115 over 68 BP and resting heart rate below 50 - I dare not think what this would have been before. I lost 3.5 stone through exercise. Everyone - stick at it, it can be done.

Anonymous said...

I'm 2 days booze free. Im 46 years old and have had a progressive drinking habit since 16. I've finally stopped at a 750ml of vodka a day. I am married with two teenage kids I've ultimately become a high functioning drunk with a very successful career. I have like many others posting been able to hide my drinking from my wife and kids by sneak drinking then falling asleep watching TV. I realize its going to be tough quitting but, the only way this story could end is bad if I continued. Good luck on all of us on our new journeys...!

Anonymous said...

On day 19. Spending this weekend out of town for my anniversary. The wine was flowing at dinner and I was not the least bit interested. So far this has really been pretty easy. I do know that if I have a drink it will lead to 2, then 3...
I am always happy in the morning knowing its one more day down. I no longer have that awful, sluggish feeling in the morning and no more puffy eyes and face. Everyone asks me if this is for good and I say that one never knows for sure, but I'm thinking it is. I can't picture myself drinking again. Kind of amazing.

Karina

Bill said...

It has been a year today I quite I tried to commit suicide July 8 2012 I haven't had a drop since it feels so good not to I lost my family wife and two of my three kids job house everything that is my reason not to go back my last kid said he would leave if I do it cost me a arm to I slipped and shot my left arm off now it don't work or feel it is just there I hope this helps someone see life is short and you can't undo pain or hurt it will always be there but you can change the future by quitting and seeing life can be better with our alcohol

Anonymous said...

High Gravity Jim here

Two weeks sober. Depression has lifted. Energy rising. Waking up early. Napping when feasible. Getting back to writing my book on the church and state alliances that started it all back in the Late Roman Empire. Now all I have to worry about is feeling so damn good I feel like a damn drink!

Anonymous said...

Karina, you are feeling your ups and downs now. Alcohol no longer masks things by getting you all excited. Masked might have been mild depression and a tendency to introversion. Just do your best to find something social because face time affects brain chemistry in a profound way. People who spend their lives on the internet have been shown after MRI scans to have some shrinkage much like addicts have. Go to parks with a book. In these quiet settings say hello and smile as you walk by people. Its medicine that works. "Its a beautiful day" and a tiny conversation boosts endorphins in the brain just as exercise does. I always feel better after face time. Everyone feels vulnerable in this world so youre not alone. People put on shows and then you read in the paper how miserable they really were. So Just go get em, get face time any way you can. Volunteer a day a week at a hospital, or nursing home. I did that, You'll perk right up. Best of luck, High Gravity Jim

Anonymous said...

Jim, I think you mean to respond to the person that posted below me on July 4. ;)

Karina

Anonymous said...

Thanks Jim....I am the reclusive guy. Although I have been clean (and loving it ) for many years now there are times when I feel a need to remove myself from the mainstream. The sight and smell of liquor nauseates me and I cannot go near a bar. This is a good thing. I do appreciate your advice...I work in Times Square (NYC) probably the busiest intersection in the world. Constantly around people...life is always humming. I get home and just want to shut it all out. I use to get home and numb myself with alcohol....I live by the Ocean but never go out on the beach..what a shame. I need to snap out of this. Drinking almost destroyed my life...like someone said...it kidnaps your brain and wreaks havoc on all your morals and standards.
for those of you struggling to get beyond the few weeks of discomfort, all I could say is stay with it. It is guaranteed to pass...the pain is worth the prize.
Good Luck Jim and Katrina...I will be checking In. Hope the others come back. Carl

Anonymous said...

I'm 33 and have drank pretty much every night for about ten years now. Mainly beer and wine. It's ruining my relationship. I finally realised I had a real problem developing a week or so ago when I cleared out 20 empty bottles I'd hidden around the house. That and the pain under my ribs with a belly developing by the day. I manage to go to work, hold down a good job so I feel I am hiding a terrible secret. I am day two in, my bf has abandoned me because he has had enough and I feel anxious and a bit shaky. Have a headache and am hoping I can sleep tonight. Reading this blog has inspired me so much and I really hope I can do this.
Want2BNormal

Unknown said...

I am 49 and have been drinking every other day since I was 13... I started with beer then moved to vodka.. I have been knocking back a 350 or 750 every two nights.. I just stopped cold turkey.. It has been 7 days. I feel wired and I am having a hard time sleeping.. I am taking one day or one hour at time.. I wish you well.

Anonymous said...

I've been three weeks now without a drink. I started drinking when I was 16 every weekend I would be "on it" and it was fun. I could handle this. I soon discovered the taste of Jacks and Coke was very moorish. Since moving in with my fiancee I've been hiding the fact that I drink at least a half bottle of whisky a night, leaving a little nip in the morning to steady myself for work. Other times I would go on a three four day bender doing nothing but drink. I had one last year and it scared me so much I stopped drinking and sought help from my gp. I stopped for a month and thought I could control my drinking. I couldn't and things came to a head three weeks ago. My fiancee threw me out and said if I don't get help its over. Well I got help. My parents took me in and I've been put on anti-depressants, thiamine and Vit B. I've been to a support group and accepted the fact that I can never have just one drink. It's very cathartic and quite joyous strangely. I moved back in with my fiancee yesterday and enjoying the fact I can have camomile tea at night instead of whisky, I wake up refreshed and ready to throw those curtains wide. It does get easier and the thought of drinking again does nothing for me.

Tootsie said...

WOW! I am so glad I ran found this blog today. I a 58 yr old female & have been drinking since my teen years. It has gotten out of hand in the past few years. I love beer and have now began drinking approx 1-2 cases per week (drinking every night) heavier on the weekends. I have gained a lot of weight and I know it's due to the extra calories. I drink alone a lot since I am embarrassed to go out much due to my weight gain. I am trying to stop. Today has been day 6 without a beer and I am extremely tired. I have decided I do not want to waste any more of of life staying home drunk and missing out on life. I have a wonderful husband (16 yrs now) He worries about me and sticks with me thru thick and thin. Bless His Heart for putting up with me. Anyways after reading all the previous comments, etc. I feel I am not alone in my battle. Wish me luck on day 6. Maybe I will drops some pounds. Yippee!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Jim here. I had a slip over the weekend and I want to describe it because I can't be alone on this. I decided to buy some non-alcoholic beer. Well, I could feel the other me taking over on the way to the store. I felt like a robot as I reached for the real deal after I grabbed some O'Doul. I said to my self, "you don't want to do this" but I was like a robot and ended up drinking a six pack. Damn I felt awful the next day. Maybe there was something else in play, too. I have been writing a book and when I started to feel great, I ended up working all hours, 12-15 hrs, and drinking a lot of coffee and then going over my prescribed amount of Lorazepam daily. I think I wore my thinker down with the all-nighters. Anyway, this "pathway" in my behavior drives me nuts. I feel like there is someone else in control when this happens to me. Like a robot. Its a self brainwashing, isn't it? I want to extinguish this pathway so badly. Well, back on the wagon. At least I didnt binge or do something stupid except the stupidity of drinking itself. I saw a public service announcement that said 1 in 7 struggles with some substance. Shit that's crazy. It has to be our crazy culture, an epigenetic development, something beyond our genes for some..

Anonymous said...

Jim
The day I stopped I cut the spiritual umbilical cord to the bottle. When I first stopped I immediately sought the help of a psychologist whom I had to report to each week. I was also prescribed a medication called Topamax which stopped the obsessive thoughts and craving. The professional help was invaluable. I am five years clean and never had a relapse. I still see the doctor ( was there today) every 6 weeks to check my progress and discuss my issues. Point is this...many of us are completely powerless over this addiction. It grabs us at the very root of our being...kidnaps our brains, makes us do things that we ultimately regret and...it reprograms you everyday to repeat your behavior whether you like it or not. Trying to go it alone is a tough and lonely journey. There is no shame in reaching out for help....I tried many times alone and failed. I only regret not doing it sooner . I am cheering you and Karina on....you can really do this .....Carlo

Anonymous said...

Thanks Carlos. I will definitely look into my counseling options. Jim

Anonymous said...

Alcohol free since June 19th. I really haven't had issues with anything. Obsessive thoughts the first few days but that's about it. Now I'm just used to NOT drinking. It feels like my normal. My husband still drinks but he's cut down as its no fun to be drinking alone :)

Karina

Anonymous said...

I am 45 years old. I was a very heavy drinker most of my adult life. I am now going on over a year without alcohol and I am still not motivated to even go out of my house most times. I hate it! I know that drinking again is not the solution to my problem here. However, what is? Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy! This is just not the way that I would have been three years ago. It would have been opposite when I was drinking. I was always out and was never home. I hated to stay home. I WANT so bad to get out and do things but cannot make myself. I have absolutely no motivation. I go to work and the grocery store because I have to. What gives here? This sucks!

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me also. It made me crazy for the first year and then I slowly started to come out of my shell and do things that were different than my routines when I was drinking. lets face it, life is not so exciting all the time...the quiet time of isolation during the first year was what I needed to reflect upon and change my life...it redirected me. I look back now ( sober since 2009) and wonder about all the lost years I spent in an fog. Happier now...a bit lonely at times but healthier both mentally and physically. There are wonderful things to appreciate and be grateful for when you are clean. Mornings without sickness, clear skin, clean thoughts, energy, free will, more money, respect and independence. good luck to you all...stay the course It will get easier.

Jaycee said...

Just remember, in social settings anyone who tries to coax/force a drink on you probably has a dependency on booze themselves. That has been my experience. Be cheerful and don't apologize. I just say I don't drink for health reasons. They may keep pushing. Observe and detach. It's not you, it's them. I have been a "light" drinker (52/f), self-medicating every night for years to suppress negative emotions. I lost a close friend/drinking buddy while abstaining in the early going. That was rough. But I have to learn to reach out to people who make healthy choices. That is my challenge now. Since 2008, I've been 6-11 months off, then on for that time, then off. I've been off the beer and wine for the last four months and finally this time I am getting CBT counselling for distorted thinking and to improve self-esteem. I want to make this lifestyle permanent. Drinkers are really good at beating up on themselves. In the early going your emotions will rise to the surface and you may feel "raw" or restless. Reach out to good people and be kind to yourself. xxoo

Beth said...

I am 48 years old and today is day 15 w/o a drink. I have been a heavy binge drinker for the last six years (since my brother was killed in a motorcycle accident). I put myself in rehab 3 years ago only to end up in the hospital for 2 weeks with a bleeding pancreas. I was able to quit for a few months and then made the mistake of thinking that I could have a glass of wine now and then. I was right back to drinking vodka until I passed out every night. I have been hospitalized 5 times in the last year due to a damaged pancreas. This time it needs to be forever. I am so sick of waking up hating myself. I hated the paranoia, the sores in my mouth and around my mouth, the humming in my head, the tunnel vision and the swollen face. Since I have stopped I look 10 years younger already, but I am exhausted. I feel like I could sleep all day and all night. I feel very spacey. I also am hungry constantly. Is anyone else consuming huge amount of calories all day long? So, so happy I found this site.

Anonymous said...

Hunger is very common if you stop drinking heavily. Your body is craving real nourishment. It was fed alcohol for so long . The tired feeling is normal...your body is recovering. Sleep is a great healer...ease into it and don't fight it. You may begin to become reclusive but don't worry....make peace with it. You need to be alone to find yourself again. I wish you luck ....Take each day as a gift....talk to God

Anonymous said...

Hi im 29 years old iv been drinking since i was 16 it strtd just as drinking with my friends till i was old enough to buy it myself since then it was when ever i could afford it now im digging for change and turning in bottles and metal to keep up with atleast haveing one beer a day their r times id drink all day skip breakfest and go rite to drinking get up at 6 and drinking all day if i could afford it now its not everyday most days ill go till noon or befor i got laid off from wrk a month ago id have a few beers thurs fri and sat but now its everyday till today i am done im quitting iv got mild anxity which sux and my feet r alittle swollen i quit for 6 months 4 years ago so im okay with the withdrawals it dnt get easy when u see beer on sale or u go out and ppl offer u a beer its like well whats one or yea sure ill test your drink then your back to it which is exactly what happen to me i im def groggy almost lightheaded but i assume its from the anxity iv know i had a problem and said well who cares im not hurting anyone but i was hurting myself and my timewith my kids and maken not so good choices not beingable to sleep its alote to deal with looking forward to being done quitting cold turkey and i dnt do pills so help from pills scares me more then anything i will post soon day 1 in progress

Anonymous said...

Hi --
RedWineDrunk here:

Hope all the other anonymous souls out there are doing well not drinking.

I checked in last on day 28, and today is day 59! I have not drank this long in probably 30 years, but I'm glad I'm making the decision to not drink day to day. And very glad to have made it through a night of temptation.

Last night was a big test and I nearly caved, but thankfully I didn't. When the time came to ordering wine, someone said, 'oh, we should be get a bottle,' I said, "go ahead, I'm not drinking tonight." Saying those words felt like the most important thing to me, but no-one made a big deal out of it. And I even enjoyed my meal without the wine. My friends only had one glass each. If we had gotten a bottle, it would have turned into two for sure, as it's happened in the past when I get together with these friends.

Admittedly, it was very hard, and I was obsessed and tempted to drink with all the wine drinking around me -- every table was filled with wine bottles and glasses. The timbre of the room became louder and louder as the night went on. I kept watching everyone drink. I only *wished* I could join in but, honestly, I know one glass would have led to two, then to three, and eventually, I would have been drunk, and wondering if people thought I drank too much. Then staggering to the subway and probably passing out on the train.

It was MUCH better to just abstain, and I feel proud this morning instead of hungover, guilty, and ashamed.

I"m looking forward to hitting day 60! There's another BIG test coming my way August 7-12, when a (drinking) friend is visiting from out of town. I'm not going to worry about that until the time comes.

Good luck with NOT DRINKING. It's really worth the effort to abstain.

Thanks, RedWineDrunk

Anonymous said...

Congrats to you Red Wine!! That is a huge hurdle and you did it. I first posted in May when I knew I had to make changes in my life. I have not been totally alcohol-free but have cut way back. Many stresses in my life now with a move to a new state, our daughter's wedding and the arrival of our son's first child in Dec. I am doing the best I can and trying not to beat myself up when I do have wine in the company of others. You are all an inspiration to me and the daily struggle eases when I read your postings. Keep up the good work and keep posting your journey as will I.
Chardonnay Lady

Beth said...

Congrats also to Red Wine. 60 is BIG! It is day 19 for me. Like you, I am worried about a visit from a very good friend. He is arriving next Friday and we have a huge drinking history together. I have let him know that I am not drinking at all, but am still worried about the temptation. I am throwing a big dinner party in his honor next weekend. Everyone that is coming is a big drinker. Any advice will be very much appreciated.
I love how I feel every morning! This is how it is supposed to be. Again thank you for everyone that has posted. I have read every post numerous times. - it is my life line right now.

Unknown said...

Hey out there on day 6 !!!! Having a really tough time !!! I'm depressed , tired , and nothing looks right through my eyes !! Its as if I'm in a dream nothing seems real , but I know its from not drinking and looking through lol beer goggles lol , I really like reading the post they are soothing to me in a strange way !! If u understand that lol !! But just wanted to say thanks and wish me so much luck

Anonymous said...

Red Wine Drunk here. Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I found this blog after I stopped drinking, but so glad I did. I read every post that night.

I'm adopting the motto: whatever it takes to be sober today. That's a change from when I didn't think I *could* stop drinking. In fact, I didn't know I could stop until I actually did it.

Here's my bottom, and the memory of it has been resurfacing lately.

Me awaking at 4:30, laying on the kitchen floor, with a waste basket next to me, my face in a pool of my own vomit, and not remembering how I got there. Pounding hangover, queasy stomach, and unable to do anything except take a shower and go back to bed. Of the last ten or 15 years of my nightly drinking, this was the worst of it, let alone the expense, wasted time, and on and on with a litany of bad memories associated with booze.

WOW -- we give up our whole lives to this rotten poison, and it's all a waste. I'm really starting to see how when you give up drinking, you're not giving up anything at all and any pleasure you thought you derived from drinking is pure illusion.

Stay strong everyone. You can live without alcohol. Someone on here said, when you quit, you become a better version of yourself, and believe that's true!

RWD

Anonymous said...

RWD. Congratulations. I know the feeling all too well. It's great to be alive again!! Good Luck...

Anonymous said...

I'm joining this club. You are all awesome. Glad you're here.
Whiskey Woman

Manny said...

Hi, I'm a 40 year old alcoholic, been sober 10 days now, this is my 3rd go at abstinence and I'm feeling mentally very strong. I got help through a withdrawal network and did a home detox (3rd time). However I am getting sharp stabbing pains around about where my liver probably is and these ease off to a moderately painful ache for most of the day. This was also happening for the last 8 weeks or so. For the last 3 days, that's 7 days sober, I've had a constant headache and any pain killers only make the liver pain worse. I pretty worried about this and hope I haven't done permanent damage. I started full blown daily drinking about the age of 26 so that's 14 years of abuse , how much can the liver take? I don't know, though like I said I definitely feel sharper and calmer now, but the first week I felt like I would rather be dead.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to my family dr. In an hour and a half. I have no insurance for rehab and am petrified of leaving my kids. I didn't drink yesterday and I have now come clean with all of my family members so I have a strong support system. Hearing all of your stories is a wonderful support system. Here's to me being back on here in a few more days saying seven days sober!

Anonymous said...

I've been almost a month without "my" wine -- mostly chardonnay. I'm sleeping better, and feeling good. I used to love having my 3-4 glasses of chardonnay every night after work. On weekends I could easily down a whole bottle. But I usually felt bad in the morning, and it began to interfere with my desire for a more active life. I relapsed once this month...but honestly I decided the next morning that it wasn't worth going back to regular drinking and feeling tired in the morning. I've been out to dinner 2 times this month, and both times I was surprised at how silly people are after having a few too many glasses of wine. It made me realize that I act that way, too. I'm 60 and glad to be in recovery.

Beth said...

Manny, Whisky woman, RWD, Hoy and the other anonymous posters - We are all in this together! Thank you so much for posting your heartaches. It means so much to me to read your experiences. As I read what you are going through it helps give me the confidence to make it another day without alcohol.

Francisca said...

it was very terrible when i started with my relationship 3 year back when Donald called me on phone from Minnesota and said bye to me,i could not understand him well because its very funny. In June i want to see him Donald and he said to my face it is over.i was so sown and never know what to do,when i was on Google i saw Doctor Zaza contact where everyone was testifying on his spiritual power and i mailed and called him and explained my problems to him and all he said was don't worry because i will help you with your case and truly after all was done, he settle problem for me and 7days later Donald came back to me and apologize,its like a dream i started counting days but Donald nevered thought of left me. Do you have problems and need a solution then contact Doctor Zaza now for help via email: indiaspellcaster@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Today is day one for me. I just need to do this for me to enjoy the rest of my life. I just need to do this!!

Anonymous said...

Whiskey Woman here. I started drinking in my mid twenty's. I'm now 56. I have wanted to quit for a long time. After everything I've read I decided I probably shouldn't quit cold turkey. I drank a lot on Friday then cut it to two whiskies and two wines on Saturday. For me that was quite a cut. I wasn't hung over on Sunday but felt really anxious. Since then I've done the same every night. Two and two. I feel so much better in the morning now. I'm hoping I can get to one and one and then none and none. I've waisted too many years! For those of you in your 20's stop now. Dont end up like me regretting all the years I threw away. You can't get them back. Red Wine, Chardonnay Lady, and all the rest of you....... We'll do it! Bless you all. WW

Unknown said...

Ok I have I question I'm 23 years old I use to drink a lot when I was younger but stoped and I started again when I was 20 then I stop then 7 days ago I started to drink for about three days then I stop because Sunday morning I had so much gas and I couldn't eat nothing along with that I have a shakie type feeling in my head the hang over went all way but my shakie feeling is still in my head anybody know what I'm going through

Dean said...

Well most people on here are much further along than I, but I'm feeling very confident i made the right choice to quit and the best way for me is to read what others have gone through and educate myself on the benefits of quitting. I am 45 years old and my entire adult life has been in the Army and a drinker. It was about 10 years ago though when the drinking because heavy. I excel at my job, pay all my bills and have a healthy relationship with the love of my life, so i guess you could say i am a functional alcoholic. I find many like this in the military. We drink every night and get up early every morning to workout and then work stressful jobs throughout the day. I felt like, if i can do all this and still go through a 1/2 gallon of whiskey, vodka or rum every week how well can i do without it. I never done anything stupid while drinking except an occasional drunk text to someone i would regret the next day. My fiancee always tells me "Our Health is our Wealth". Its time to prepare for retirement otherwise i'll never live to enjoy it. I remember when i quit smoking 11 years ago. The longer I quit the more i realized how stupid it was to smoke. The same will happen with alcohol. I am happy i finally made the decision. Clear skies and Fair winds in front of me.

Anonymous said...

Hi there from Sonoma Gal:

2nd time leaving a comment. First time I was 12 days sober, now at 22 days since last drink and 54 days total since I first attempted 30 days sober. Ok, that looks like a math problem, lol sorry for all these numbers! So, first time I made it 27 days without drinking but then drank 4 days over a week, felt pretty much horrible all around and restarted my goal of 30 days sober... 1 month at a time right? What was really strange and crappy was how much worse I felt physically and emotionally after drinking those few days; truthfully it wasn't light drinking but no where near compared to the frequency and amount prior to June 8th. The long and short of it was that its taken a really long time to get back to the feelings I had at 27 days, and that long dull malaise and extended hangover took me for a loop. What has also surprised me is the very mixed feelings I continue to have towards my drinking. Unquestionably I cannot deal with others extended drinking (anything that involves drinking as a sole source of entertainment is definitely not enjoyable anymore). But I really don't mind being around drinking with normal drinkers and find it interesting to observe people and enjoy company without attempting to exert feeble self control while working on getting intoxicated. On so many levels that behavior was distracting and danaging. With nearly 2 months of sober days (though I slipped) I can acknowledge that my drinking was seriously affecting my life and happiness, and I have much deeper clarity on how personal this journey is, even if it is something we all have in common too. All of you guys inspire me, and I've learned a lot from hearing your stories.

Thanks for all the incredible determination to commit to positive change!

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone - Chardonnay Lady here. I have really enjoyed reading these recent wonderful, heartfelt posts. We are all telling the same story in different ways and it is so helpful to me. I continue to not drink on most days and when I do drink - I feel worse physically on much less wine than in the old days. You would think that would be reason enough to never drink again, but I am not there yet. I still struggle with the social part of it.
At age 59, I will tell all you youngsters out there to be grateful you are addressing this now. I could "take it or leave it" until I hit my late forties and I started using any excuse to over-serve myself. Before I realized it, I felt the need to drink when sad, frustrated, stressed, happy or just bored! Really stupid and dangerous to kid myself about this powerful drug.
My daily battle is easing, but the war is not over and I appreciate all your postings so much. Best wishes to everyone out there. Ever onward!!
Chardonnay Lady

Manny said...

Jay money, your having withdrawal symptoms because the chemistry in your brain is changing. Your brain is beginning to accept alcohol as one of its essential chemicals, once this developes fully it is dangerous to stop drinking abruptly, you can have life threatening seizures and die. Your young enough that its probably no serious yet, but before you know it 5 years will pass and alcohol will take control of your life. Go to your doctor is my advice.

Bryan L said...

I just decided to quit drinking cold turkey this morning after an event that happened last night. A bunch of us friends went out to party as usual, I drank too much as usual and then I started hitting on my girlfriend's friends again. This doesn't happen often but it's happened before. And the most self-degrading thing was that I woke up not knowing why my girlfriend was hurt and upset. I literally sat there looking and feeling like a complete dumbass while she explained to me what happened last night and why I was such a douchebag. Alcohol is a crazy drug for me because some nights I will be a calm and nice drunk, some nights I'll be a mean and insulting drunk and some nights I'm a loud and fun drunk, but you never know which one you will get until you roll the dice. But OK so anyway, sometimes after I get a few drinks in me, something in my brain tells me it's OK to try and pull chicks in front of my girlfriend. I don't know what the deal is. I will literally blatantly hit on other women right in front of her and I can't explain why I do it. It makes no sense because I love my girlfriend, but I just can't control myself. It's like the alcohol releases this primal urge to just try to mate with every female in sight. Alcohol literally convinces me that it is OK to at least entertain the idea of cheating. This only happens if I'm blacked out and in auto-pilot mode though. It's a really strange phenomenon. It's almost as if I am watching myself on TV and I'm saying, "NO DON'T DO IT!" but I do it anyway, Also, ever since I started drinking pretty often, I have developed pretty severe sleep apnea and I'm not even overweight. I don't know if that is related at all, but it really sucks to wake up and never feel rested. But yeah so wish me luck. Reading these posts will help I think. I actually got choked up on a couple of them. Thanks for all the support and I'll keep all you guys in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Just to say that this will be my 5th day sober.
I drank around 12 - 16 cans a day for about 5 yearsand have always been quite a drinker.
I finally decided to stop poisoning myself once and for all because I could no longer deal with the day after/ morning ritual of feeling like shit, bad stomach, too much coffee, self doubt, guilt, thinking I would stop today and the worst quarter of an hour on the toilet retching and having the runs.
Alcohol for me can't be social or controlled or limited to just 1 so it must stop.
I read a saying that keeps going through my mind - one that I have repeated frequently to my family (who all know and knew about my addiction)
One drink is too many and a thousand is never enough.
Take care and best wishes to all of you - hoping to feel better soon

Anonymous said...

I am a 31 year old woman. I drink of a night every night. I now have loss of appetite, and nausea. I have done this for 2 years (heavy drinking). Anyone with the same experience?

Manny (almost 2 weeks) said...

I believe Einstein once said" The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results"

Anonymous said...

I just want to say thank you for sharing all of your experiences. I took 6 days off? Had one drink last night in a social situation and am now back on the wagon.

I hope to eventually drop it forever. Perhaps benefiting from your guidance. Seems almost silly to have alcohol be such a central part of my schedule.

Anonymous said...

I have been seven days without alcohol and feel much better. Drinking pretty much since I was @ 15 yrs. I did abstain for 2.5 years while in college (returning student) when I was about thirty. High functioning drinker over the years. I would rather have my finger nails pulled off than go to A.A. meetings. Any other advice? Thank you for your comments everyone. They're very encouraging.

Beth said...

Dear Anonymous, I have the exact same thoughts about AA meetings. I truly felt like it was a religion in denial. But it has helped so many people.

I fell off the wagon this weekend. Hating myself all over again :(

Anonymous said...

Hi Beth,
I too fell off the wagon last night and am also hating myself. I got into it with my son and today feel like a total loser. Don't know what else to say except thanks for your posts. Today I will do my best to start again. Hope your day goes better.
Chardonnay Lady

Beth said...

Thank you Chardonnay Lady! So tired of this battle. This is such a terrible disease. I wish there was a magic pill to cure it.

Anonymous said...


Relapse happens ....Been there before. It's all part and parcel of your recovery. Each time you relapse you begin to learn a bit more about your personal demon. You need to listen to the relapse and let it speak to you. Let it tell you how to better deal with your demon at your next weakest moment. Change is not seamless. Progress not perfection.
Carlo

Anonymous said...

Thank you Carlos! You always make me feel better with your insights and non-judgemental encouragement. It is so hard for me to stand on my own two sober feet when I get scared. I feel like I am making progress when life is okay, but I am not when life scares me:( It is helpful for me to hear that I need to listen to my relapse and what triggers it. Blessings to you and thank you again for your kind heart.
Chardonnay Lady

Manny said...

We need to make a clean break with the booze. I know it's so hard but if we keep hating ourselves and the drink we lose a little self respect. Try and say thank you to the alcohol and be at peace with your old drunk self. It's time to move into a new phase of life. It's like a loved one has died, we don't hate them we just make do with what we have today and do our best to change for a better future.

Anonymous said...

"Progress not Perfection"........I like that. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

hey now...been at this 'trying to get sober' thing for a while now...I am, I guess, what could be considered as a highly functional alcoholic. Professional employment, good family life, dogs...blah blah blah....at least 12 beers a day for the past 10 years, but now over the whole thing...it's just that I simply cannot...I quit for about 5 months and thought I had it licked...hell, even did an iron distance triathlon in the interim (exercise has been huge all my life). Now, as you can probably figure out, the wheels have fallen off...Naltrexone is in the house, but i'll be damned if I want to do it that way....needing a bit of strength, and would like to find a source to keep up with folks on a consistent basis (accountability works well for me). Did the AA thing but, even after months of meetings, never got comfortable with the whole thing....can somebody help a man out??

Anonymous said...

Sonoma gal here:

On day 8, doing well. Went out with a girlfriend last night and she had 3 glasses of white wine while I ate dinner and had 2 very delicious non-alcoholic drinks. When I do go to a bar my favorite thing to do is ask the bartender to make me their favorite non alcoholic cocktail. Surprise me I say, and honestly many of these are some of the best drinks I've had. And the cheapest as they are usually around $2. I always want to encourage them to put them on the menu since obviously not everyone drinks alcohol! Anyway it's just my way of having fun while not drinking and it makes me happy... So when I got home I told my fiancé that in my drinking days I would have had 4 glasses with her (we used to do that), drove over the limit (so stupid and dangerous), bought another bottle to have at home, and then likely started a fight or just rambled on about some drama, and them stayed up until the early morning hours (alcohol really kept me up), woken up today feeling like hell, and wondered what the hell was the point of drinking that much on a Thursday night?? So glad that's not what happened!

Anonymous said...

To the gentleman above " Help a Guy Out"
You really want this right? You may be almost there are many roads out other than AA. It's a heroic battle on your own and with focus, determination and great faith, it can be beat. Accountability ,that's what was key in my recovery. I knew I was powerless and sought help. I sought the help of a doctor (Psychologist) and with the right therapy and medication (anti depressants) he turned my life around four and a half years ago. I met with him every two weeks for an entire year....I meet with him every six weeks now. I was being held accountable for my sobriety....I reported to him and he was genuinely interested and concerned.
I read so many of these stories on this blog. They all sound so familiar. Alcohol is stealing the wealth of our lives. It has kidnapped our free will and wreaks havoc on our system of morals and ethics. It compels us to do things that we would normally not do. It destroys us and the innocent people who love and for for us.
If you try and try and you fail over and over again it is time to re-evaluate your battle plans. Think about the real root cause of your drinking. Is it hidden depression, poor coping skills, denial, stress? We are all creatures of our habits and if we don't change our behavior our lazy habits continue to make us do extremely unhealthy things.
Getting help is paramount to your success. Don't be ashamed ( you already came forward on this site) there are many professionals that can help. There are amazing medications that can treat the underlying causes of this disease. These personal stories are touching and sad yet similarly, they offer hope to those willing to quit and embrace a new life.
Point is ....there is no need to fight this on your own.
There is strength in numbers. Gods love to all.
Progress not Perfection ....Good luck mate.

Manny said...

Well it's 3 weeks tomorrow and the initial "rush" I had with finally getting sober has gone. It's still a battle because I don't have booze as an out when feeLing stress/anxiety. I've wasted 14 years being a drunk and it feels like I'm gonna need 14 years to get sober. Gotta keep up the counselling and might try yoga haha if only you could see me a fat bloke doing yoga. Anyways I'm still 100% committed to staying sober for the sake of my kids and long suffering wife. Hang in there guys, life's a challenge.

laura said...

So I'm 26, single mom of 2 young girls. I'm literally stressed the f out all the time bc of things I went through with my ex husband: mental & physical abuse, prescription pills, pot. He ended up losing his life bc of his addiction. I've been on one with mr booze since I was 18, only took 2 years off bc of pregnancy. I got a dui last year which was very shameful as a mother. I am successful, not a trashy drunk, and somehow am a manager. My night time loner dinking causes me to be 15 minutes late to everything I do. I'm sick of living my life by a 6 to 12 pk habit every night. I'm only 110lbs and I feel like death everyday until about 2pm. Once I feel fine I forget about feeling like hell and look foward to having a beer. I hate my life, I'm done with it. I don't know how I'm going to make it in this high stress job and parenthood, but I gotta start. I've always been into smoking pot, when I quit that all hell breaks lose with my depression and anxiety, like I feel reckless. As long as I have a few trees I'm ok, but its more expensive than booze and not as readily available. But I've never felt bad, or have hangovers with pot, I'm very motivated. Well here's to day 1. Fml

Anonymous said...

hey Laura....been in the same boat as you (guess I am still for that matter). At some point that weed isn't going to help, and you will need to start addressing why you feel the need to get wrecked. Healing is a process, and there is no magic pill for it. If you have the wherewithal going to see somebody that can get you some meds and counseling goes a long way. There is no shame in asking for help. Good luck to you, friend...there is always someone that will help you if you reach out.

Anonymous said...

Day 101 of no alcohol. I drank for 13 years at start 3 a night then 6 a night. Finally at the end I was up to 8 beers a night on weekdays and at least a 12 pack or more on the weekends. Also at the end I think I would take 1 day from drinking every 3 to 4 months. Did I have a problem I guess so, spending 300 a month on alcohol whether its holidays or whatever. In this time I've been able to spend time with my children not just ground them. The first week was the worst couldn't sleep and on the second night I had the chills and night sweats. I've had to learn to do so many things different since BBQ , watch sports, hang with friends that drink, going out places but I did it. Will I ever be able to drink again I don't know I like beer way to much. Good luck all

Dakota said...

Now on my 17th day sober. Having a bad day. Really get fed up with everything. I'm an attorney, always been a high functioning alcoholic. Don't really want a drink, but am lonely in this addiction. I live in fear I will stumble and be back to getting drunk pretty much every night again soon.

Anonymous said...

Not so encouraging...maybe you need to join a support group to understand that there are thousands of people exactly like you struggling with the same disease. Many make it out with a good support team (Ie. doctors, therapists and groups). The loneliness is a common side effect. Listen to what t is really saying to you. It passes quickly. Don't quit and never give up on hope.

Anonymous said...

Hi there- been a while since I have posted anything. I guess because I feel pretty good about my life at the moment. I think about all of you everyday and pray you are making progress also. I have embraced yoga and find peace in that world. I think the non-competitive, non-judgemental atmosphere benefits me. The "progress, not perfection" idea pretty much sums up my daily life. Most days I don't drink any alcohol and some days I do (less quantity than 3 months ago.) Far from perfect but liking myself a whole lot more than I have in years.
Chardonnay Lady

a_berlin said...

Hi there all you brave people. I'm 31 year old woman, been a regular drinker for 7 years, even more regular for the last 5 years, and kept it down to just beer for the last 3, but I've been doing it almost daily. I've been sober for a week. My problem is that my social interactions have always to do with certain bar - I use to go there every eve after work, even work there, feel welcome, like kind of a family in a strange city... All or almost all my friends are musicians, so hanging out at night and having a few beers is just the only way of meeting them. It's really a big change in my life to quit. I feel fine, just very tired all the time, and have no anxiety issues but the fact that I don't know how to fill my days now. Even facing some future event with friends seems like torture without a drink in my hand. I appreciate whatever help. Thanks and hold on!

Anonymous said...

31 year old Lady....,Welcome to the club...BPD you are well.
Please know that the best possible way for you to move forward would be to stay away from your drinking friends for a while. This would give you enough time to move forward both mentally and spiritually. Old habits are the root cause of our failures. Pretend you left to be in another country for a while. Go back to your group when you are stronger and way above the alcohol bonding . Find other ways to occupy your time. Change your habits....without change there is no growth. I have been sober for almost 5 years and loneliness is not necessary although there are always moments, make peace with it. It's insane to think that alcohol is the driving force of human socialization.
Well good luck to you and report back to us because we are all interested and truly care.

Anonymous said...

I've been drinking at least one bottle of wine a night for 5 years...but last night I didn't drink. So today is Day One.

Didn't sleep well last night. My body is trying to find its rhythm again.

Woke up feeling calm...and hopeful.

WhiteWino54

Anonymous said...

I've been drinking beer for about 7 years every night. I drink 3 cans every night without fail. It doesn't sound a lot but it's enough to make me feel hungover in the morning and hazy. I tried to stop once (about 4 years ago) but had 5 nights of not being able to sleep so just started again. Main reason I drink now is so I can sleep, I've just convinced myself I can't sleep with out drinking and the thought of not drinking makes me anxious immediatly. Anyway I'm going to give it another ago, anyone got any idea of how long the no sleep will last?

Beth said...

I went for almost a week once with just a few minutes of sleep here and there. I was shaking like a leaf - even my eyeballs were shaking (I kid you not)I was coming off both prescription drugs and alcohol, but eventually nature kicks in. Hang in there!

Manny said...

G'day battlers, well it's 4 weeks goin on 5 since my last drink. What can I say, I definitely fell better, the tough times(cravings) get weaker and I'm living my life like a normal person without the need to plan my life around booze. Yes I get bored more easily, but have found new ways of escaping the hectic modern life. I've discovered the beach which has always been within 15 minutes and surprise surprise it really is a relaxing atmosphere down there, even on stormy days. I also enjoy the company of my kids and the dog and look forward to afternoons with them. If I had to give anyone advice I would say don't do this alone. Get help. There is always someone or some organisation that will help. I've met some beautiful people who help me because they want to. Anyways stay strong, refocus daily and allow yourself to enjoy a moment.

Anonymous said...

Heavy, functional drinker here. 51. For years, I would quit for about a month every year, with no permanency intended. It would take about a week to feel right, for me. I've now decided to quit for good, and after the usual week of detox, I'm starting to feel better. It's different for each person, of course. I "ramp down" for a few days, not totally cold turkey...that can kill you. (I was at 6 - 7 drinks per NIGHT.) I've always been a walker, so keeping that up, helps. Yes, you'll be very tired for a while.

I'll lose a few "friends," but if they have an issue, I don't need them around.

Anonymous said...

Hi im just testing to see if im able to post on here as im from the uk ?

Caveman said...

So I'm beginning my fifth week sober, that is instead of beginning a fifth...(Delaying a moment for laughter to subside). Feeling better and am continuing on a Paleo diet. Used my real name today, because I am proud of myself. A couple thoughts. Reason it takes so long to recover - a year according to the head blogger - is because we live our lives on a yearly calender. Once things come around the second time, second Christmas, Second new years, second labor day weekend, well you get the idea, I will be much more practiced in my sobriety. I still hate the idea of AA meetings and would rather gnaw my fingers off than go and spill my guts to others in person. I check in here once a week. Why? Because it helps and I want to encourage others. We need to bring each other along.

Caveman said...

O.K. that's not my real name. But it's close.

Anonymous said...

I am 52 and two days from now will be a month -- 30 days -- without alcohol. Much debate is out there about the benefit/risk of NA beer, but it's worked for me.

I have gone to 6-8 AA meetings and, weirdly, enjoy them. I am not a deeply religious person but do believe in God, which is all that AA asks, from what I've seen. To me, AA is just a reminder that we are not alone by any stretch, that other people will help you and, hearing their stories -- and occasionally sharing mine -- is simply a good reminder of how badly things can go.

My goal was a month and that's obviously in reach. Now, I am leaning toward six months.

A lot of people commented on their sleep patterns soon after they've stopped drinking. I had all the classic DT symptoms -- minor shakes, sweats, dry heaves (the worst) in the mornings. My sleep was disrupted for 4-5 nights but I just laid there and really relaxed, fairly happy that I didn't drink that day. The DTs ended in 3-4 days; the sleep disruption ended a few days after that. Since then, most days -- not every day -- I've felt better. I'm much sharper at work and I'm sleeping "normally."

It is a great feeling to know: I don't need alcohol; if I'm in any kind of accident, my alcohol level absolutely will be 0.0%; no one at work, our kids' sports games or in any setting will wonder if I've been drinking; etc.

I'm heading for six months. I have a hard time saying "forever" to anything. By the way, St. Pauli's Girl N/A is terrific, though expensive. Bush N/A is my staple, but I'm trying all kinds of drinks that I never had time for before. And many are very good.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Want to know something I have been sober for 25 years,gave it up in 1988after I almost lost my wife and two children,however,recently (2 years ago) I gave up smoking after smoking 40 cigarettes a day...I miss the cigs more than the booze,and I drank every day..Take care.

Anonymous said...

I just turned 63. Drank since I was about 18. For the last 30 years I would have maybe 2 beers or a large Martini before dinner, 2or 3 glasses of wine with dinner, the 2 or 3 scotches after dinner....7 days a week. About 2 months ago my stomach really started bothering me, bloating, acid reflux and pain. I stopped drinking entirely about 3 weeks ago and the pain, bloating and acid reflux is gone. I am having trouble sleeping but all in all feel quite good. No more alcohol for me now.

Anonymous said...

hello iam 34 old male i drink at least a 12 pack every night my hole life is messed up wife and kids are going to leave i want to stop but dont no how 2 do it by myself dont have the money 2 get help i i been drinking for 16 years any help out there

Anonymous said...

There is always help out there. This is a great blog to follow. The people who respond and comment are responsive, understanding and honest about this hard journey. It is so worth the effort to quit! You are young with a family who needs you and probably just doesn't know what to do to help you.
Truth is, only you can help you. At first it is super hard and then one day you will find you made it through a day without obsessing about a drink. It doesn't take money to stop. It takes time and being kind to yourself. Someone on this blog said, "progress, not perfection." One step at a time, one day at a time, all became cliches because they are so true.
Think about how much your family loves you and needs you sober and engaged in their lives. You are totally worth it. Redemption and a new path are waiting for you. Good luck with your journey and keep reading, posting and somedays, just breathing.
Chardonnay Lady

Anonymous said...

Quit 5 months ago now. I'm 38, drank about 6-8 beers every night since I was 21.

Since I quit drinking, I don't feel any different, which kinda pisses me off. I EAT a ton more food though, presumably to make up for the calories I used to get from beer.

One of the things I look forward to now is going to sleep. Surprisingly I sleep well. I thought I wouldn't be able to without passing out, but it's actually pretty comfy.

What sucks though still is that I haven't been able to DO anything that I used to do when I was drinking at night. I used to clean like a maniac, work, create art and music, and now that's all just gone away. I just go to bed early now.

Hoping I can figure out how to get back all the energy I used to have. And I'm hoping maybe after a year, like the poster says, I'll feel different. But really, so far I feel exactly the same mentally as when I drank, which, again, pisses me off. People that post, "I stopped drinking and it was tough at first but now my body feels better, I can think more clearly, and it's great!" also piss me off, haha. I'm glad for THEM, sure, but I feel a bit cheated so far. I lost out on the fun stuff, and haven't got anything out of it. Maybe better health? Who knows, I had my blood work done every year and it came back normal, which of course enabled me to keep drinking.

Feeling hungry and bitter, but glad to not feel "addicted" to the habit at least, hmpf..
-CleoCat

Anonymous said...

Wow...
This has been an eye opening read! I have a long road ahead & am afraid to start as I know what happens when I stop self medicating. You all sharing really feels like a place of refuge. Tonight will be my first night (did it last months couple nights) with no drinking. I am going to attend an AA meeting on Sunday at 8 pm so I feel good knowing I'll have some support tomorrow night, so maybe I can string two days .. My story is odd. I have different people weighing in (even a professional therapist)
Sorry if it's long but it's a bit complicated. I started drinking in my teens I'd been in am abusive relationship, been raped and lost my grandmother who was like my mother who raised me) and suffered a traumatic injury that took almost every sport I played out of my life. My self esteem plummetted I gained 20 lbs from being virtually immobile & was very depressed and anxious.
Fast forward to college when I had intense academic pressure, over committed myself to school associated groups/projects and no support system away (12hrs) from home, I drank myself silly every weekend & holiday. But that was college. I had one very bad night where my friends called the school health center & they admitted me on suicide watch. I started therapy for all the things I never told anyone about & quit drinking at 21 with my then BF who is now hubby 17 yrs later! More of him later. It was easy to stop. Then in 2006 I helped my dad battle cancer & was his chemotherapy buddy & made the health decisions which some of my family harshly scrutinized. I gave 100xinfinity of myself to my dad because he was my best friend in life. He died. I was sick during the last 4 months of his battle then had an explosion of neurological problems which landed me in major Diagnostic hospitals with loads of medications, painful tests and a differential diagnosis MS/ ALS and other big bad uglies. So I lived like I was dying (we all are and I thought I'd Learned that lesson with dad) so I allowed myself a couple glasses of wine at Pebble beach a bucket list item in 2009 and Boom! My symptoms and pain vanished. My neuro disorder that was nameless & caused me HORRIFIC daily/nightly pain was muted to the point of almost silence! So now this last year had marriage prob & drinking more cuz of tolerance... (was 3 nights a week for the last 2&1/2 yrs now 6-7) And my husband had a new addiction take over his life & he finally fessed up & has been going the 12 step route to sobriety. I see his change & know I need to go back to being the healthy me. But here's the rub, the minute I go back my nightly neuropathy-like pain returns & I get virtually no sleep. No meds work as well as alcohol. My disorder affects membrane potential & so alcohol messes with that potential I'm assuming & plus it's numbing effects in general. It works better for my rare disorder than anything (neurontin, gabapentin, opiates, antiinflammatories) you name it ! So I'm back to the drawing board with a horrifically painful life/ or 3-5 glasses of wine any night I'd like to sleep.
Anyone have thought as to my plight? Am I an addict cuz I built a tolerance? Am I an addict cuz I worry I am? Am I an addict who only choice is to live drink free in agony or be a boozer from 8-10pm when I fall asleep? Sorry so long! Thank you anyone who made it thru that ramble. Btw- It takes 3 drinks to have bad neuro pain & symptoms to abate.

Anonymous said...

This is a great blog I've been sober for 7 months . Wished I'd known how easy it has been for me . 2 bottles of merlot a night for about 3 yrs . Ended up in hospital collapsed 2 weeks in hospital . Got a load of blood results yesterday all normal don't know how lucky I've been . Don't ever want a drink again feel better every day sleep brilliant go out to pub just j2o walk my dog as I couldn't be bothered b4 . Wake up glass of wine back to sleep didn't look after my family properly .I'm trying to make it up 2 them

Anonymous said...

I'm the 2 bottles of merlot a night for 3 yrs . Wot I didn't say was since I was about 30 I was drinking nearly every night but not as much . Left work 2 yrs ago coz couldn't function without a small amount just to get me out to work . Ended up in hospital never again I'm 46 yr old female everyone comments on how well I look not gaunt anymore good look to everyone out there going for a scan on my liver next week to see if I've done any damage to myself take care

Alex said...

Hi brave people! My name is Alex, I'm 38 years old male and this is my attempt number N on sobriety. I tried moderation and social drinking before and it had never worked. Having an analytic mind, I have tried to research every bit of information about addictions on the web and stumbled upon this blog. I salute to all of you people! Keep trying! Thanks to the author for putting this up!
I'd like to share what have been useful for me on this quest so far. Almost single thing -- learn about PAWS (Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrome). I'm surprized no-one has posted anything on the subject yet (or I missed something). The information at the URLs below will help you a TON as it is helping me and innumerable people trying to kick addictions. Get armed with knowledge and techniques and nothing will stop you. PAWS explain why we don't get better right away, what to expect and how to cope. Good luck to ya all!

http://digital-dharma.net/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-why-we-dont-get-better-immediately/

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Wikipedia article is also helpful.

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone. I'm 30 years old. Began drinking some time around 17 and barely stopped to pause until November of last year. It's almost a year for me now.

It was tough in the beginning. The habit is hard to break. For those just starting, be ready to find a new challenge almost every day! For example, the long list of social challenges: business lunches, after-work hang outs, cocktail parties, meeting up with friends, family parties, concerts, vacations, etc, etc. If you spent 10+ years drinking during each of these activities, then each of these activities will be its own little challenge for you.

The social challenges can be tough or feel awkward, but do not avoid them: get acquainted with seltzer drinks (e.g., club soda with a splash of cranberry, or a splash or orange juice, etc) and get used to turning down alcoholic drinks in friendly ways, like, "No thanks, I have to drive" or "Not today, I have a long night ahead of me." Most of the time, if you have a seltzer drink in your hand, no one will even notice you're not drinking alcohol.

If you've grown comfortable over the years watching hours of TV every night with a 6-pack or wine bottle or what-have-you, then you're going to face the fact that TV just isn't as fun sober. I started exercising with a friend. This last for a few months at a rate of 3-5 times per week. Then my friend started losing interest, so I began running. First on treadmills and tracks (e.g., at the local school). But then I began just running around my town. 2 miles was my first goal... Then 4. Then 6. I just did my first 10k. It was awesome!

I've lost like 30-40 pounds since I quit drinking. I have LOTS of extra spending money. Exercising inspired me to begin eating healthier... I used to eat Chinese food constantly; now I don't even crave it.

All in all, my advice is: hang in there and keep challenging yourself to do new things. Something will catch. For those of you that feel tired: it could be that you're not getting enough calories; it could also be that you're dehydrated and need to drink more water.

(Wow, this post has been all over the place. I meant to only say a few things... But, really, I could go on and on. I some times think I want to go back to drinking, but after writing this I'm back to thinking that drinking isn't for me.)

Anonymous said...

Really inspiration....thank you for your post. I too have a similar story. I have. Been quietly sober for a few years now after 38 years of drinking. It was getting bad at the end and I decided if I did not stop I was going to die. I sought the hello of a good psychiatrist and psychologist. They were able to get me to stop with medication and counseling. Itt was easier than I could ever imagine. I felt a bit strange at first and the cravings gradually disappeared . Life got a bit boring but I was able to find better things to do with my life. Travel, cooking classes, exercise, etc. Met new friends and have a brand new wonderful life. The thought of ever drinking again nauseates me. I handle social events well with club soda and cranberry juice. My skin glows, I think clearly and I am not dysfunctional and sick in the mornings. My advice....Stay the course and you will be surprised at how great life is on the outside of the bottle.

Anonymous said...

Hi, so I've used alcohol as a crutch for 7 years, slowly getting worse and worse, hung most mornings, bottle of whiskey in the evenings, and affects my mood, gives me anxiety, numbs the emotional pain that I am in, love the taste, and what it does to me at the time, just chills me out, helps me write, helps me with words and makes me forget. I really want to stop and live an anxious free life, but I don't know how to numb the emotional pain that I am in without alcohol.

Been sober now for almost 4 days, and it's nice feeling clarity in my head and not hung in the morning, but I know the problems that I have as a person can be dealt with in the short term as a quick fix. Sometimes it's easier to take the easy option, but I know this is killing me. I am a functional alcoholic, however I am slowly becoming less functional. I don't want to go to meetings, as I have a successful career, and I don't think I could go to those meeting and speak about myself without breaking down in tears.

I'm a little bit lost, and can't see a way out of it. Maybe this is just who I am...

Advice welcome

Anonymous said...

Thank u 4 this useful post. Especially the histamine connection and the inspiration of your journey.

Anonymous said...

It's nearly 8 months for me . Really does get easier time flies can't believe it's been so long . I can sit and read books didn't have the concentration span b4 . It seems like a small thing but I know it's my mind being able to function better good look to all I'm here in the UK . As most of you seem to be from the USA x

Anonymous said...

For thirty years I've been taking a drink almost everyday. Never interfered with anything I thought. Until I quit 10 days ago. My life has been a blur. Always playing catch up, but never in trouble. Relationships were OK, never mind blowing. Kids are grown and doing fine. I know now that if I hadn't been drinking I could have increased not only my quality of life, but my children's as well. I pray I have the opportunity. Best of luck to all on this blog. Your words are inspirational!

Sapper RE said...

What a great forum.
I'm a 56 year old male who has, apart from a couple of months on a couple of occasions, been drinking heavily since the age of 16.
I spent time in the British Army in Germany during the 1970's where drinking heavily was all part of the culture.
Over the years I've become a functional drunk. Until 7 days ago, I've been sober since then, I could quite easily drink 20-30 units per day. I never appeared drunk but my health has started to deteriorate markedly. Stomach pains, indigestion, diarrhoea, smelling of alcohol the next morning, the following day being planned in advance so I could still drink before meeting people etc.
I've now decided I want to live. I want to spend my later years with those I love, I don't want to die young.
I am not going to drink again. I cannot use AA as I'm a humanist and do not believe at all. We only cure things ourselves.
I wish you all the best in your continuing sobriety.

Caveman said...

This is Caveman again. I have been sober for 70 days when I got back from vacation. I have sort of hiding my recovery - behind my diet - paleo diet! Perfect excuse not to drink: "Yeah, no thanks I'm on this caveman diet, so no, I don't want a drink." Well I've never felt better. No hangovers, losing weight (15 LBS. thus far.) oh, and did I mention I'm sober and enjoying mornings again? I've posted before as anonymous. Hang in there. If you do drink, don't lose hope. Just get the hell back up and give it another try. Tomorrow's a new day. It gets easier. Live each day new. Blessings. Caveman

Unknown said...



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Anonymous said...

Went to a birthday party for my son tonight. 23. It felt good to be by his side without a beer in my hand. Thank you dear God for giving me that opportunity.

Anonymous said...

I haven't drank in 5 months and I'm still an anxious nervous wreck. Don't know how long a can go on. I need relief. I need a drink.

Anonymous said...

Your probably feeling like u want a drink because it's weekend . Wether u work or not ? I've not had a drink for 8 months waiting on results that's enough to put off drink . Uv gone this long u can do it good luck .

Anonymous said...

Amazing. Well done. Am on week 2.

Anonymous said...

I am a 37 year old woman. I am married with4 children. I have been drinking most every night for the past year I tend to argue with my husband and blame him for my unhappiness. After these arguments and my ranting fits I wake feeling guilty and want to apologize. After repeated events like this my husband does not know if he wants to stay together. I do not blame him and would even understand. I am to blame and I know I must stop. I love my husband and children. I have stopped drinking but things between us are still rocky, understandably. How can. I make things better? I want our marriage more than a drink. It just took me a long time to realize the damage I was doing. I am afraid this time was one time too many for him

Anonymous said...

Yes another month for me 10 months for me still don't crave a drink considering what I was drinking I must be lucky for it not to bother me reading some of the struggles . I was drinking heavy for about 15 years 2 or 3 bottles of red wine a night . Keep trying

Anonymous said...

Ten months....what a great accomplishment. I too found the longer I abstained the easier it bea came. Life was a little boring at times but I embraced the solitude and found other ways to occupy my mind and time. It's been over a year for me and I have no regrets....I can't ever even believe I was trapped in such a state for all those years. Thank you Lord for giving me my life back. All of you who were on this blog and tried to stop and then disappeared....remember this....it's a struggle and it's painful at times but you all can do it. Listen to what your relapse is telling you....repetitive behavior is obsession .....break the cycle....know you can do it, and love yourself above everything else. Good luck

Aaron said...

Hello everyone. Im 27, i started drinking when i was 17. I have currently been completely abstinent from alcohol for 3 months. I was generally a moderate drinker with short periods of heavy drinking, as well as the odd month off. I decided three months ago to give up alcohol forever. I wasnt at rock bottom, and it wasn't ruining my life, i just came to the conclusion that drinking wasnt for me. Drinking has a negative effect on my mood, my energy, my decision making and many other aspects of my life. Which is why i asked myself why do i partake in this activity which has this outcome? Its quite bizarre when you really think about it. Drinking is so ingrained in our society that most people dont give it much thought. There is numerous research about how alcohol has a detrimental effect on our physical and mental health. I beleive the advice we are given about alcohol is ineffective, we are always told to drink in moderation. I dont beleieve moderation is the best strategy, i beleive abstinence is. If you dont drink you will feel better. Simple. There are obviously other variables which come into it, like finding ways to manage your stress, and finding activities you enjoy which do not revolve around alcohol. I have been reading articles, posts, research etc on the subject of alcohol and it seems that it takes most heavy drinkers a year to fully feel good again after quiting alcohol entirely. It just begs the question, how long will it take me, an average drinker to feel completey good again? I am on three months no alcohol, I feel more balanced, positive about the future and more energetic, it just keeps getting better and better. As a mild drinker i dont think it will take me that year people speak of, but perhaps six months will be my magical time. When will your be?

junior said...

i been sober for 3 weeks, i was a heavy drinker. couldnt really control my drinking, if i had one i need another and so on. for 3 weeks i havent had any type of alcohol. but i really do miss the taste of a beer. i feel that i have control of myself to where i can drink one beer and then go another 3 weeks.. im almost sure my mind(devil) is playing tricks on me..
man this shit is tough.

Anonymous said...

Junior, been there. Mind says " just one" just to show your ok. I've done that to myself numerous times. Stay with it. Pretty much averaged 35 drinks a week for the last 30 years. You can do this my friend. Eat well, sleep, day dream of your better life to come!

Anonymous said...

"just One " is pretty much the ticket back to hell.

Anonymous said...

Holding a glass of bubbly ready for the toast " just one for the moment" tried to sabotage a lot of hard work. Switched to the non-leaded and the toast went fine. Drove home without looking in the rear view.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous
Well, I have been drinking for 27 years. I have lost my job. Lost the trust of family members. I have now been sober for 3 days not - trying again to get rid of this thing that has taken control of my being. I have lost so much and now I am 51 years old and would like to be dry so my family will remember me for my true self. I realized my drinking only has gotten worse and has gotten to the point where I have many bad feelings about myself.

This is probably the last chance I have at stopping this madness and try to save whatever I have left - I wish you all success in your goals of remaining dry and I hope I can do this.

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

Sorry wot has marriage guidance have to do with alcohol abuse

Anonymous said...

Sherry Turner -- go away.

Anonymous said...

I've not had a drink for 12 months . Didn't think I could go a week without never mind a year . Christmas will be the test for me but I no I will be saying I can't believe it's 2 years this time next year . Good look to all on this journey

Anonymous said...

Ken aged 55,
It was early July 2013, and after many years of drinking decided to stop.
So I came of the Vodka and replaced it with Larger, the idea was to go from 8 tins, to 6 tins the next day,then 4 tins and so on.
On the third day of reducing my alcohol intake I had a massive seizure lasting almost 15 minutes according to my wife and paramedic. I did not remember the seizure myself apart from flashing lights in front of my eyes as it started. I was rushed to Hospital and apparently had a brain scan and various other test that I can vaguely remember. As a consequence of the seizure I noticed I had broken the fillings in my teeth, and all the mussels in my body really ached. The brain scan was clear of anything sinister, however evidence of mild brain atrophy was seen,and a slightly enlarged liver was found on the Ultrasound scan.
After six days of tranquilizers as treatment in Hospital I was discharged. I have since been completely free of Alcohol. The anxiety attacks are less frequent as I begin my fifth month free of booze, however I now have a craving for Chocolate, I was told by the Alcohol treatment nurse at a meeting that it was a common reaction when one abstains from Alcohol. I am so grateful to my wife and the health service for helping me begin getting my life back, and I fully intend never to drink Alcohol again as I really don't want to go down that road again believe me.

Anonymous said...

I found an early morning engagement of almost any kind works well as an excuse

Anonymous said...

I too ended up in hospital for 2 weeks . That's why I stopped drinking wish I had done it on my own accord and not had too . I collapsed and was rushed in . On drips for 2 weeks 8 hrs on 2 occasions horrible & painful phosphorus drip . Never again still my body aches after a year . It's not a necessity don't need it better off without it

Anonymous said...

My chocolate intake also went up & so did my weight ???

Anonymous said...

I quit last night and it's about 3 am here. I can't sleep- normally this time I would be passed out drunk and snoring.

36 years old drinking since 19.

19 to 23 heavy drinking on weekends.
23 to 29 increase to 3 or 4 days a week.
30 to 32 almost daily 4+ drinks
33 to recent - daily 7 to 12 drinks

Hard liquor only.

I am being so detailed so as to warn the younger ones how things can quickly escalate.

Was married about 6 years ago and separated 3 years later. Have beautiful daughter that I now only see on weekends. My job performance suffered. I gained weight. I stopped calling my friends because I wanted to be alone and drink. No one knew I was doing this every night. I hid it very well but simply not talking to anyone.

Every time I feel a pain near my heart or tingling in my arm, I ask, is this it? Once I rushed to the er because my heart was beating so fast. Thankfully each incident was nothing serious. But for how long can I cheat death?

The past few days I drank so much, it caught up to me and I puked yesterday. I was nauseas all day. Yet I had the audacity to get in my car and drive to the liquor store. That when I turned right instead of left and went to subway. Here is the thing, I never eat before I drink so as not to kill the buzz. That's why I knew if I ate, even with a sick stomach, I wouldn't drink.

All this because of drinking my friends. I am in Toronto and our mayor is all over the news. I read about all his drunken rages and drug use. He's in his 40s. He refuses to get help or step down.

For some reason, yesterday was the day I woke up. I said I quit this poison. Enough. I need to get back in shape and start get out my nice dress shirts and be confident again. Not a loser sitting alone and drinking every day accomplishing jack sh.t.

I am wide awake and my mind is clear. I am not tired but I know I will be later today. Boo fu-k--g hoo. You think lack of sleep will stop me?

Before coming across this blog, I stumbled on a book - Alan Carr - easy way to control drinking. I downloaded it and its a good motivational read.

Quit while you still can. Not December 1. Not after Christmas. Not new years day. Right now. A random November 13 for me.

Sleepless in Toronto.

Anonymous said...

Started drinking at15. 46 now. Have not had a drink in forty five days now. Yesterday was the first day I wasn't exhausted. Even had dinner with friends tonight. I always order the wine. Passed on the wine tonight. No one said a word or judged me. Great feeling!

Anonymous said...

I'm 23 and have been drinking at least a fifth of whisky a day since 19, until about a month ago when I quit. I still have all the anxiety, insomnia, and fatigue from quitting, so I decided to look into when I would start to feel better. I found this blog and at first when I read that it would take about a year, I was discouraged. Although, after reading the rest of your blog, and thinking about it for awhile, I became motivated. Thank you very much.

Chris 1 said...

I have been sober now for 48 days. I considered myself to be a heavy drinker everyone knew I had a problem apart from me i was in serious denial, i was hiding bottles from my wife, lieing being manipulative, deceitful drinking to constant excess all the typical signs of an alcoholic. However, I 48 days ago came to terms I am an alcoholic. I have lost good jobs, been a bastard to my wife and family due to my alcoholism. Even though I am going through a shitty time at the moment, I am coping dealing with and doing it without alcohol. I always used alcohol when little stressed, down, bored any reason any excuse. I am now feeling much better my anxiety has decreased and instead of turning to the booze I am communicating to my wife and family and expressing my feelings which I have never done. As the saying goes there is nothing but misery at the end of a bottle- it is very true. I wish everyone all the success with this terrible illness and to remain sober for the formidable future! Chris

Anonymous said...

wow great site been 2 1/2 weeks for me now, am 47 have great wife, 2 kids, would only drink on my days off worked 4 on 4 off "never drink on a school night" I would say, but on days off usually started about 6 pm, vodka and coke zero, doubles, triples, get buzzed, go downstairs in the basement watch youtube video on my computer of concerts, dream big dreams, play video games, go upsatirs for another double, feel guilty about leaving wife upstairs watching tv by herself, go upstairs drunk, watch tv, get sleepy go to bed, try have sex maybe, cant perform too intoxicated, wake up in morning, wish I was dead, negative thoughts, blame my job its too stressful, feel guilty, again, miss my workouts too hung over, put on 20 lbs over 5 year period, look in mirror not happy what i am seeing. promise myself I wont drink tonight, 6 rolls around, so bored, have a drink, after a few feel great again, go on vactions, sneak booze onto plane, get to resort, start drinking immediately. look at my wife knowing one day if I dont stop she will leave me, WTF am I doing. I am stronger than this. read an article about how the center part on the brain (animal brain) controls the craving, its so use to the booze it thinks it needs it to survive, the smart part of the brain tells you WTF are you doing its killing you, they are in a constant fight. Dont let the animal brain win. There is nothing like waking up sober, it feels so good, I strech and just smile and fell great. Thanks for everyones articles it helps me

Anonymous said...

I'm a 28 year old female with a moderate drinking problem. It started when I was in college, going out with friends. Then I had a terrible job that I hated so I started drinking more. I was drinking pretty much every night for the last year. First it was one beer, then it quickly became two, then three. Two weeks ago I decided to stop cold turkey. I discovered my triggers and have resolved to stay sober for at least one month. I had no idea it'd be this emotionally draining. And now I'm reading that it takes one to two years to fully recover?! Tell me it gets better, please!

L

Anonymous said...

I WANT TO THANK GREAT DR IGBERASE 2ND FOR HELPING ME WITH MY LOST HUSBAND DEVIS HOLLYWOOD...
Dr Igberase is like a father to the fatherless.. i never believed these will really make a change in my marriage, and i never have it in my thought that i could ever been with my husband Mr Devis after divorcing and ending our 33years marriage.... My life was upset i never knew where to start from when my husband broke up with me.....My name is Tanisha Davis from Poland but got married and live in Chicago USA, igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com is the right email address to contact for an urgent help in getting your lover back.... My husband and I have been together for 33years before he divorced me and i was so upset because i thought i have lost my marriage forever... i did all i could to please for my husband to bring me back home but all to be in vain.. i had to traveled away from my state because i was not having anywhere to stay because my home was not conducive for me to stay because my husband want me out of the house, i travel to a friend of mine in California, one night, when i was searching on a good spell caster results that help in bringing back lost lover's and husband's, i found an interesting story that was shared by Santana Valdez From Texas Huston, about a good spell caster called Dr Igberase,and how he helped her in getting her husband back home, and i decided to put a try in contacting him... he replied me back.. i thought at first these was just normal and he told me that i was going to get back my husband after a period of 28hours i still doubted him.... But today as i am sharing these good news is for me to express my experience to all the whole universe that these is a good spell caster that helps in bringing back lost lovers and he is (igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com) I am happily with my husband and my 3 kids, TARRY, WENDY, JEFF... great Igberase i thank you for helping me to get my family back.... his email address is (igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com) Thanks, From Tanisha Davis
, Igberase is my Grandfather because he was always there for me when i needed him mostly and he is the reason why i am happy today.


Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Some people believe it is not possible to recover from addiction. If you have become dependent on drugs or alcohol, you can recover by Albany alcohol rehab

Anonymous said...

its crazy to read some of these post and hear what ur drinkin in a nite. im 22 and so ready to be done. life was going down the drain. i was drinkin almost a case a beer a nite after work. and im average weight. i went from sober to blacked out. i skipped the fun part of the buzz. i use to be able to drink socially but once it becomes more than that i suggest to get out of the game.

Anonymous said...

Be done! Nothing but trouble will come of it.

Anonymous said...

I am the daughter of a 46 year old alcoholic who has been drinking heavily every day for about 3 years now. Every morning he apologizes to my mom and to me and my siblings- expressing how he wants to stop drinking, and how he will stop/wants us to help him stop. But every night that changes and he drinks. He's been able to stop for about a week and a time before reverting back to it- and what's worse is that he will blame one of us for stressing him out and forcing him to to turn towards alcohol. Any helpful tips and suggestions? How should we as a family be approaching this situation?

Thank you, your stories have given me some hope.

Anonymous said...

To the young lady with the 46 year old father. Don't give up on him, but live your own life. My father was an alcoholic as well. Live your life, understand it is not your fault that he drinks, that's a cop out. It is your fault if you follow in his footsteps. Deep down he knows you are his most precious gift. Hopefully he will come to understand that.

Anonymous said...

Two bourbons and a glass of wine. Feel like hell this morning. Can't go back to who I was. Can't do it, won't do it!!

Anonymous said...

I came across this post thinking im nothing more than a bit of a jack the lad drinker but after reading your post and some of the others im horrified they echo my what I do. I never even thought for a minute I could be I cant even say it. I need to stop and going to thank you for opening my eyes.

Anonymous said...

ON day three with no alcohol and feeling very tired. Going to friends tomorrow for New Years day and not sure how I will handle not drinking. Just don,t want to feel hung over anymore nor this waiting to open th wine bottle. Hopefully will be strong and say no thanks. Husband stopping as well so that should make it easier. Fingers crossed

Chris said...

5 years after my father's death from alcoholic cirrhosis and for 5 years I have been a heavy drinker. I decided that on 12/29 in celebration of being nicotine free for one year I would also put down the alcohol for good. I actually stopped the day after Christmas because I had been feeling ill and the drinking was making it worse. It has been a week since I have had a drink and I feel fantastic today. The subsequent 6 days before today, not so much. I find myself drinking coffee again but I am limiting myself to 2 cups a day as I am trying not to create another addiction. On the 28th of this month I had been diagnosed with borderline alcoholic fatty liver disease and something is going on with my left kidney. Even though I hadn't been drinking long and not a daily drinker at all I find that I am suffering the effects of abusing alcohol. Even though I did not drink daily I still abused the alcohol. I would drink 2 750ml bottles of wine sometimes 3 or 4 and a 6 pack of 8% beer in a weeks time. Though I was not a daily drinker I was what could be considered a binge drinker which is certainly devastating to your health if not more dangerous than being a daily drinker. I am 34 and I have 3 kids. I am doing this for myself first and then for my kids. So far it has not been hard to resist drinking because I was so sick before I stopped but it is still very early. I do not miss feeling sick, lethargic and feeling isolated from my family because of my drinking. New Years eve was fantastic because I was able to really enjoy it. I remember the night and it was such a blessing to be able to really be in the moment and not buzzed and detached. My husband and I have gotten along so much better the last week and I wonder if my behaviour when I was under the influence was the reason for the tension between us. The past 2 days I have felt much more at ease and less irritable. I ask that if you are a praying person please keep me in your prayers as I am praying for all of you. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences. I will write back in a week.

Anonymous said...

I stopped drinking on 29 Dec 2013. I was a bottle of wine after work girl and didn't think I had a drink problem. Then I started to notice that I was taking time off work more often, phoning in to say that I was ill. I was actually starting to believe my own stories!! I'm now on day 14 without a drink. I am really craving wine but somehow I've managed not to give in. I feel much better and more alive. I've also stopped drinking caffeine and am much more calm. Hopefully, the cravings will reduce soon.

Zeb said...

Day 2. Been drinking since 15, now 55. Need help!

Zeb said...

Zeb again, additional information - I consume 60 - 80 beers per week. Does Inpatient Rehab work? Comments please.

Anonymous said...

Day 21 for me. I've been about 6-10 beers a night for past few years (more on the weekends). I've been bribing myself with food, drawing, doing puzzles, taking long drives. Pretty much anything to keep my mind off booze. It seems to be getting slightly easier although any small amount of stress and the little voice in my head screams "Give me my booze!"

Anonymous said...

Day 13 for me. 50-60 beers a week.
I'm feeling anxious and bored. Every time I try to do something to occupy my time, I feel like having a beer. This ain't easy.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'll just sleep 16 hours a day. The only thing worth getting out of bed for was beer. A good beer buzz early in the morning was the best. Boy do I miss it.

Anonymous said...

It's a year for me next month thanks to the national health service here in the UK . I probably wouldn't be alive to tell the tale . Collapsed & was in hospital for 2 weeks on a drip for most of it out of it for the first 2 days my legs wouldn't work . But it's been the best year of my life since I became dependent 25 ish years ago good look to all x

Zeb said...

Anyone know anything about Solutions Rehab in Florida?

Zeb said...

How you holding up? I'm on day three, might not make it to day four.

Zeb said...

Day three. Called my doctor yesterday to get an appointment for some meds help. Was told no opening till February. Called back this morning and explained situation.Told nurse I'm afraid I will start drinking again if I don't get help today. Best she could do is Friday! I've been drinking almost every day for forty years and she wants me to wait six days! Told her I most likely will be cancelling on Friday morning cause I have changed my mind. I'm so upset I know I'll drink tonight.

DV said...

Hi all, reading through the comments from people on here goes to affirm what I thought was true. I'm a 40 year old male and following a tough break up with my ex, 6 years ago, I suffered a bought of depression. To try and ease the depression I drank alcohol. I started to drink pretty much every night and it would be somewhere around the bottle of wine mark. Sometimes I would drink more; maybe a few beers as well. I didn't really think there was a problem. That was until I realised that drink just wasn't helping anything in my life and I was merely wasting time until the next one.

I have a good job and I am in good shape too as I run and cycle competitively. However I just felt that I could be so much better at everything if I didn't have this handicap of the booze to deal with.

No one thinks that I have a drink problem; not even my girlfriend and when I compare my habits with some other peoples, I wouldn't say that I have been a really heavy drinker. However, to me, it doesn't matter how much you drink, it's how it affects you and everyone is different.

So I decided to stop drinking 8 days ago. It hasn't been all that bad to be honest. I feel a little irritable; but no worse than when I was drinking. I do feel a little low though and I'm hoping that this is due to the alcohol withdrawal and not a recurrence of depression. Time will tell.

I don't know if I'm off booze for good. I just know that I'm stopping to feel better and be better.

I wish everyone well with their challenges and I hope that you find happiness away from alcohol.

Anonymous said...

Zeb how are you doing hope you have managed to get some help . We all need a little help but a little can go a long way

Zeb said...

Made it through day three sober. woke last night at 2 am witha massive headache, finally got back to sleep. At my desk working now wishing I could concentrate. My 40 years of drinking including the last 5 months of downing 60 - 80 beers per week is now kicking my ass. Doctor says I shouldn't quit cold turkey, its not safe. But if I decided to go cold turkey, days 5 - 7 will be the roughest. I could mentally breakdown and would need immed med help. can anyone provide suggestions based on personal experiences? Many thanks all and good luck with your own demons.

Anonymous said...

Good evening I'm currently writing a novel which is based around a log term alcoholic who has now stopped drinking. What would happen if he got drunk after a bender? Would he be able to keep off it immediately?
Graham

Natasha Hayes said...


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Anonymous said...

Hi the po hit the fan today my partner has been lying to gp and has loads of medicationwhich he has added to his 10 cans per night he did rehab four years ago then relapsed after 100 days i don't recall his last day off it. i work full time and am doing all the house jobs too. he forgot how many pills he'd had last night and took loads more he was lucky. i had to take another day off to do school run and take care of him. will be ok over weekend but he has no job and i don't know how to fill his time from Monday when i have to go to work. living next to a pub and opposite an off licence is not much help! any ideas?

Anonymous said...

I have been drinking for 25 years I'm now on day 53 without a drink I'm very proud and happy but my body aches

Anonymous said...

Its been a year for me next sunday , since I stopped drinking . My body ached all over could hardly walk afraid to bend down incase I couldnt get up , thought it would never get better . But it does now just odd achey morning but I am 46 so probably age now . Started jogging with my son to get fitter it will get better good look

Trish said...

I'm 56 and have gone five weeks without any alcohol. Been drinking daily for at least 30 years. My blood cell count was too high when I visited by GP for my annual MOT. She said to stop drinking. Waiting on an appointment for an ultrasound to see if my liver is damaged.

I just stopped drinking, and don't have any side affects (shakes, aches, etc). I am, however, very down in the dumps because I am disappointed in that there appears to be no obvious change in how I feel, or how I look. I'd hoped to lose a pound or two at least. My disturbed sleeping hasn't changed - I still dream a lot (not happy ones).

I've found some non alcohol wines which make my friends feel happier in that I look as if I am joining in on our Fri/Sat get togethers. My husband has also cut right down, and is very supportive of me.

I didn't expect a miracle, just something to make my stopping drinking feel worthwhile.

Apologies if I sound a right moaner! (Trish)

Anonymous said...

I've not had a drink for 6 months . But I suffer with headaches dizziness and hot flushes any body else with the same ?

Anonymous said...

13 months dry now apart from a glass of of wine last Christmas day. I had been drinking since 16 and heavily since I was about 20. Started off socially but gradually became an everyday thing whether I was in or out the house averaging 6-8 cans of strong beer per night with a good skin full come the weekend (same again but with a bottle of wine or two thrown in). A year down the line my mind seems clearer and less confused about life. Physically I've lost 5 stone as no longer on the booze has stopped me eating lots of shit too and feel loads better. To begin with no booze was hard and my body ached for it but now I don't miss it. However still worried if I cracked open a 6 pack if I'd drink sensibly or go back to my bad habits. Good luck everyone with your efforts.

Anonymous said...

I just had my second child he is five months now. I am on my first week of soberity. I feel very anxious and fearful I am gay. Does this fit the profile for withdrawl symptoms. I feel very numb and have lost my identity. Such a terrible feeling. Can anyone relate?

Anonymous said...

I have mostly been a on and off drinker, ( almost always beer 4-10 % alcohol )

Last year i had 2 or 3 major durations without drinking.
This year i had a few days here and there without beer, and so far i am 15 days alcohol free. My issue is, for some reason it is alot harder this time around then it was last year. Its day 15, and i still have a few cravings and thoughts few times a day. Anyone else experience this ?

Ernest~

Mark said...

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Julie Deshields.

Anonymous said...

I am trying to get in extended stay facility for my alcoholism. It could be another week. I am getting sweats, heart palpitations, sleeplessness, muscle aches. I've been 20 mostly blacking out 3 times a week. I just spent the last two days in pain. Should I drink a few so I don't get sick or have a seizure?

hmm said...

Go seek medical attention.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy I found this. I am on day one but very determined. I quit once before for about 5 months but made the mistake of goingtoa friends for a big party and thought I could control how much I drank. Within a week I was back to a 1/2-1 fifth of vodka a day! Gross I know.... I'm praying I do not have any medical issue when quitting. I did not have anything too major before. I did experience anxiety and trouble sleeping.

Anonymous said...

Very happy to have found this blog. I'd like to say you are all an inspiration - wishing everyone continued success. Such a pity that social pressures and the fear of a possible negative reaction from friends you used to drink with - keeps people from taking control of their lives.

I probably fall into this category - have a close knit group of friends and uni alumni all of whom I've met and continued relations with while drinking socially. Have to get past this worry about how stopping will affect these friendships...

I also convinced myself beer was fine and only drank beer when out, but the past 5-6 years have been about 4 nights out a week and 8-10 beers minumun a night - eating total junk before going to bed and feeling disgusting the next day.

Time to stop - will be 35 years old this year. Today is day 1.

Anonymous said...

I'm 33 years old and was drinking 6-8 beers every night and 10-12 on the weekends and this went on for 4 years or so...I'm currently 6 months sober but still dealing with some brain fog and anxiety that I never experienced in my life....didn't even know it was anxiety I was experiencing but I can say things are getting better and have no cravings at all but after this experience I'll never think about drinking again

Anonymous said...

52 years old here. I did hte beer in high sschool through grad school, like most guys I knew. I never let it interfere with my studies then. Went to wine in the mid-80's; never did the liquor. Having a large wine cellar, I enjoyed wine most nights. The past couple years it was about a 1/2 bottle on most nights. Open it and drink 1/3 to 2/3. Put it away, and finish it the next night. I went for stretches without drinking and never drank if I felt sick, even a little cold.

Well, last month, I threw my corks into an empty wood wine case I had for them in the cellar for maybe 15 years (I don't know exactly). I noticed it was now full. I assessed the situation. The realization that I had essentially pushed that much poison through my liver told me enough is enough.

I quit. Felt no side effects at all. Been a month and I don't miss the juice a bit. That doesn't mean it wasn't a problem. If you are out there in a similar situation, it's just not worth the risks and the expense of drinking often.

I gave up colas, a habit since the '80's, also. Tasted one I got free and it was like drinking maple syrup. How did I drink that crap too? But I digress. If you have been thinking about stopping, and presumably if you are here you have, just do it already and get past it. Find productive things to replace it and consume your attention. Alcohol really doesn't do anything that positive to anyone.

Anonymous said...

Sonoma Gal here: After attempting in earnest to quit since June, I am so pleased to have over 4 months without a drink! To all of you starting out, don't get discouraged, just realize it's a huge change and it does get better with time. Try to accept that in the beginning it's very likely going to be hard mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically. But that will pass if you can commit to powering through the rough times and staying the course until sobriety improves. It will and it does!! This is what finally worked for me: I reached out for help online and in person, made sure I have someone to talk, I eat well, exercise, take supplements, read sober blogs, read books about sobriety, and repeat to myself whenever necessary: I do not drink! Happy wishes to us all!!

Anonymous said...

It's day one well about 10 hours, I have been drinking heavily for a good 5 months about everyday. I have been drinking since I was 15. And today at work, I started shaking I felt like I couldn't concentrate on simple stuff my hands feel like they are cramping. I have never felt like this first time, and as I'm writting this I feel really cold but at least I'm not all shaky. I ate in the morning when I woke up 10am and now I feel like throwing up and it's 1am. I feel sick is this withdrawal? Hopefully someone can talk me through this b4 I go get my self booze. Ever since my best friend died i hit the bottle hard, I know it's a excuse I did AA for 2 months but all they did was talk about how much they miss it and all that alcohol talk without alcohol just made me thirsty. So AA IS NOT A OPTION.

Now 25 said...

Hey guys,

Stay strong! To the 18-25 year olds that are worrying you have a problem. Do your best to quit - seek the support of family, friends or organisations and you'll be better before you know it.

It's said over and over again but it does get worse as time goes on. If you are using alcohol for the wrong reasons it will start to use you. Personally, I used it to numb and hide from my personal pain, but it hid more than that. It hid my potential! I'm 25 now, made too many mistakes. I hurt my family, my girl and it could have been so much worse.

Since I was 17 I worried I had a problem, but always said "ah it's not that bad, yet it did get worse."

So reach out to those that love you, even strangers in supprot groups will understand you. We're all in this together! Peace to you all.

Anonymous said...

I quit drinking more than two weeks ago and I still have fatigue, headaches, and ringing in my ears.

Have you ever heard of this happening? Is this normal for some people?

I was drinking on average 4-8 12oz beers nearly every night, sometimes a bit more.

TX,

B

Newsteps77 said...

Widow, 63. Drank heavily from my late teens through mid-thirties (around 1/2 fifth scotch/day or a litre of wine). No drinking while pregnant with first child at 35. Gave up drinking (for religious reasons) for 5 years afterward. Had another child...but eventually returned to drinking.

Mild drinking at first, as my late husban was a major drinker/pill abuser. So, I was always the designated driver and the one who stayed straight enough to put the kids to bed. After 20 years of marriage, he died. That launched me back into SERIOUS, daily alcohol consumption. Got through every day by thinking about my "reward" drinks coming at the end of the day. Spent a fortune, hanging out in classy bars, practially 7 nights a week. A miracle that I did not ever get a DUI or kill someone while behind the wheel. Actually hit a tree dead-on while drunk one night, but that STILL didn't get me to stop.

Finally stopped running around the pricey bars about 3 years ago, but continued drinking at home, every single night. Would wait for people to leave, so that I could race to the freezer, ice up that glass and grab the vodka bottle. A closet drinker who was fooling NO ONE. Both of my (then adult) sons expressed concern about my drinking on several occasions, but I kept telling myself I was in control of it.

Stopped once for a week at the request of a therapist, so that I could get in touch with my "feelings." White-knuckled it thru the entire week and resume my drinking, as soon as the 7 days were up. Then, stopped for a month, this time for religious reasons. Both times, I did it COLD TURKEY, but had some valium stashed to get me thru it.

After 12 years of this heavy-hitting, nightly vodka consumption, I had a cat scan for an unrelated issue. The cat scan showed that my liver was inflamed..."Fatty Liver." Hid the test results from my GP successfully cause the test was run at a hospital ER for a simple urinary tract infecction. I kept the test results, but they really scared me.

Have seen people die of cirrhosis. It is NOT a pretty way to go. And my homework on the internet has taught me the liver can heal with strict abstinence, healthy diet and milk thistle supplements for a minimum of six months. So, I'm doing it.

Today is Day #4 of total abstinence. Began by tapering down, as I did not want major withrawal symptoms. Started at 5-6 drinks per night, then down to 4, then 3...then I quit totally.

So far, no major withdrawal symptoms of any kind. Some mild anxiety, but I have take 5 mg. of valium every 4-6 hours to get through it. No nausea, headaches, tremors...NOTHING. Funny, but the taste of the vodka (I used to mix it as a White Russian with milk & Kahlua) had been nasty to me the last month or two I was drinking. I simply wanted the "fuzzy buzz."

Time to face the pain and fear of loneliness I was masking with the nightly drinking. I am taking this one day at a time, but have set a goal to not even CONSIDER taking a drink of alohol, until my liver is recovered, 6 to 8 months from now, if all goes well. Will I start again, if I heal? Not sure. I am hoping I can kick it for good, or I will be right back on the same merry-go-round to hell again.

Although I didn't drink and drive these past two years, never rank during the day and would hold off on my first drink till nearly 10:30 or 11:00 at night, I know I am an alcoholic...high functioning, but still an alcoholic. One drink is NEVER enough. Heck. Five weren't enough. I would fall asleep with that reassuring glass next to me on the nightstand, then hide the vodka & Kahlua bottles in the AM, even though I live alone. How nuts is that?

Hoping all of you stick to your guns and that God gets all of us free of this terrible bondage.

Unknown said...

I downloaded Alan Carr's "Easy Way To Stop Drinking" audiobook from audible.com, and stopped drinking immediately following. I am not a bot. I do not get paid to promote this product. I was a fairly heavy drinker (beer-at least a sixer a day) for over 20 years, and the book effectively changed my thinking about alcohol. Not only have I not had an alcoholic drink since, but I no longer have any desire to drink AT ALL. I actually feel sorry for everyone I see drinking alcohol now, but refrain from preaching because nobody likes that.
I'm a skeptical person by nature, and I'm not sure if there's some sort of hypnotic or subliminal message to this book, but it worked for me when nothing else had. If you are truly ready to be done drinking forever, I HIGHLY recommend this book. It definitely, ABSOLUTELY changed my life for the best!!!!

NewSteps77 said...

To Anonymous who posted on Marh 11th about continuing withdrawal symptoms: I am now finishing Day #5. Today, I experienced my FIRST unpleasant symptoms, mainly a mild, nagging headache, ringing in the ears and extreme fatigue. Also, finding myself short-tempered and impatient. Have simply decided to accept these symptoms as part of my recovery and reassured myself that they WILL pass. I hope you are able to do the same. We DO get to the other side...sober with NO side effects. Don't give up.

Anonymous said...

47 year old male (retired Military) drank heavily for 25 years. Last 10 years drank at least a pint of vodka a day and a six pack. Weekends drank at least a fifth a day. Also smoked 1-1 1/2 packs a day. Got extremely sick (flu) the first week of February and was in bed for 5 days. I quit drinking and smoking and went through some uncomfortable withdrawls (shaking, trembling, night sweats, irratability, anxiety, insomnia). That lasted for 3 days. I went to the doctor (first time in 6 years) and told him I had an alcohol problem and had a lot of anxiety. He precsribed Zoloft (50 mg)and suggested continued abstinence from alcohol. Today has been 5 weeks that I have been elcohol and nicotine free with no withdrawls and no anxiety! I have been to 2 AA meetings but did not find them to be helpful. I wish everyone the best in the quest for alcohol free living!

NewSteps77 said...

Congratulations to the Anonymous retired military person (male/female) who has been clear of alcohol AND nicotine for 5 weeks. THAT IS AWESOME. Really glad that you got medical support for the withdrawal anxiety. Many of us are too proud (or ashamed?) to seek the support we need to succeed. Just imagine...already, your throat, esophagus and lungs are beginning to recover. You can smell food and taste it better because your sensory input is recovering from the nicotine damage. In months your lungs will be returning to their original, healthy pink. So will your liver. Abstaining from alcohol for 6-8 months can reverse even a fatty liver, caused by alcohol excesses. Keep your eyes on the goal: renewed strength, health and a longer, happier life. Keep posting. I am really rooting for you! - NewSteps77

Anonymous said...

Call me James...

44 and sober for 14 days. Husband and father of 2. Typically have 2 beers + pint of vodka per day. Have been on this "medicine" for probably 10 years. Have wanted to quit for so long. Have hidden the vodka portion of drinking from my family. Beer allows for the "plausible deniability" of alcohol on the breath, vodka provides the real kick. Don't drink and drive and only drink when and if I know I'm home for good in the evenings. Have been shackled by this...work days are consumed with making sure I have the right booze on hand when I get home but in a way that does not raise suspicion of my excess (vodka). I'm functional during the day, although getting out of bed everyday is a nightmare. So I found a catalyst to stop and hope to continue. 14 days in and still haven't had a restful night's sleep. Dreaming like crazy, can't shut the brain down. Sleep cycle is way out of whack. I feel better in the mornings though due to no hangovers and feel good that I've at least made it this far and know, with certainty, that I don't smell like a wino during the day in the office. I'm a better person without the booze and feel like I owe it to my kids to NOT have their lasting pre-college memories of their father being the guy who always has a drink in his hands and is likely slurring his words more than he thinks. I'm certainly more fun to be around when I drink, i.e., I'm relaxed usually. Now, though, I'm certainly more irritable and less patient and I'm telling myself it's going to take some time to adjust. I do like the fact that I've freed up a lot of brainwaves in the last 14 days that were otherwise used to scheme, plan and orchestrate my alcohol purchases. That also created a level of guilt and stress that I carried but was a trade-off to the good feelings I'd have once I started the daily dose of beer/vodka. So...14 days in, tired: yes, worried about drinking again: yes, happy I'm not hungover: yes, happy I don't smell around the house and the next day: yes, happy I'm stress/guilt free about pissing money away on alcohol and when/where I'm going to buy it: yes; hoping greatly that my kids may see an example in a father who loves to drink yet simply decided not to because its not good for him: yes. Feeling guilty that my kids can't have a father who can drink in moderation, i.e., glass of wine or a beer with a meal: yes. Looking forward to getting into a decent sleep cycle. Best of luck to all those who share these same frustrations.

NewSteps77 said...

To the Anonymoua 44-year-old man who has now been sober 17 days!! This is one awesome battle you are winning. Yes...you do smell better. Yes...your brain is slowly recovering healthy functioning Yes...you will eventually regain the ability to sleep well. This varies from person to person. So do the crazy dreams/nightmares.

You will probably start dropping weight, as your liver begins to recover the ability to process fats efficiently. Like the rest of us, new habits have to be formed. First tough one for me was NOT drinking alcohol in some form whenever I dined out. (And I dine out ALOT). Wish you could see the shocked look on the servers who used to rush my first drink to my table, as soon as I was seated (and continue bringing them at top speed). They are stunned.

On a really positive note, we save a FORTUNE when we quit the sauce. Can't even begin to total up how much I used to inflate all my dinner checks with booze. No wonder the owners smiled at me so much. I was an easy touch for profits. Restaurant profits lie in their liquor sales.

Don't worry about not being able to "social drink" in front of your children. Better to have them see you abstain, than to be constantly buzzed. And believe me, they KNEW. Kids have radar for drinking parents.

Stand strong. Keep posting. We CAN do this with God's help!

Anonymous said...

Hi, been looking at this site for months now, I have been brought up from childhood with drink as a remedy for problems, and for the past 12 years I have been drinking heavily but in a controlled manner ie not before work or driving the next day etc, however in the last 4 years it has been uncontrolled. I now live in a wine producing country where alcohol is a way of life, and as i work from home for myself I began to drink more and more, 2-3 litres a night with maybe a few chasers. However things have now come to a head I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have even attempted to end it all as a result of the associated paranoia, my wife is one step away from leaving and I have no where else to turn, friends dont seem to understand that i cannot even have one drink and my wife still drinks infront of me. I have stopped before and am determined to stay strong, but I need to know that it possible I have manged to go a week in the past but always wanted a drink. This time I feel different and even with everything going down the pan I just dont want a drink. My wife remains unconvinced, she is going away for a bit to decide whether to carry on or not i dont know how to convince her otherwise. I realise that this may seem a strange post but i am stuck in a motorhome parked on my own driveway and if i go to see people they offer me a drink and i have to keep explaining why i can't and i cannot keep seeing the looks on their faces when i say i am alcoholic.

Anonymous said...

I"ve been drinking heavily most of my adult life but the last 3 years I've been drinking almost every night until I black out. I've quit for 10 days and feel AWESOME! First few nights I had trouble sleeping, now I sleep like a baby. I have way more energy, confidence and capabilities. My anxiety is slowly disappearing. Family life is way better. Trying and doing new things. Saving money. I"m an addict so its all or nothing for me and I'm so glad I quit.

Anonymous said...

thankyou from the man in the van

Anonymous said...

I am a 68 year old man.

With the exception of being trapped in the Shanghai airport in 2011 (where the bar was closed)and the last 3 days, I have drunk regularly for the last 43 years. Certainly with the exceptions mentioned above, it's been daily.

Frank Sinatra said he felt sorry for people who didn't drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they will feel all day! I want to know what that's like.

I exercise 5-6 days a week. I seldom ever touch alcohol during the day. In fact don't even think about it. But once home and facing the loneliness of my empty house, drinking becomes job one. The numbing effect to me is essential.

Four to six ounces of vodka every night; fall asleep on the sofa and wake to go to bed, generally after midnight. Up the next day, rinse and repeat.

I am reading a really good little book: "Three Minute Therapy". It is frankly changing almost everything I think about myself and about life. It has some very good advice for drinkers.

I am not sure how far I am going to take this experiment. I can feel myself somewhat edgy and sleep, despite some meds seems more difficult.

I am grateful for the honest and transparent stories told here. It is a big comfort.

I want to be free of the albatross around my neck. I would like to have the self control to have a couple of glasses of wine each night. Even my Dr. recommends. I just don't know if I can develop that self restraint. I welcome your input.

SC

Anonymous said...

Follow-up from my March 19 post, the anonymous 44-yr old guy. 24 days sober now and finally sleeping. No more anxiety, although I'm sure part of the anxiety was physically manifested by the effects of alcohol abuse but I'm without the anxiety caused by the guilt and constant planning around ensuring my evenings are flush with beer and vodka yet in a way that's fully unknown to my family. I had already posted a followup but can't find it and perhaps did not complete the process but I am enjoying not being hung over and have not had the urge to drink. Slow down before you feel like giving me big props...I'm concerned that I haven't had the urge because I simply haven't let it into my mind because it's my Lent thing (openly) and, quietly, hoping to see if I can move it beyond a lent thing to permanency. I do know for a fact that I can not drink in moderation if the alcohol is available and I'm not in a situation to drive, etc. I do know that I'm pretty irritable right now and have been short of patience with my family and that's all on me. I guess, beer & vodka's numbing effects helped me subdue things that bother me and I guess now it is highlighting that this is how sober people live, i.e., have to figure out how to deal with life without being an irritable pain in the ass head on. I have dropped a few pounds already and my skin is clearer. I've also noticed my face and skin are not as oily (I know that sounds gross but I guess that's some by-product of processing the high quantities of vodka I drank.) I'm not suggesting I was better off when drinking...I wasn't. I'm sure I'm in a better place and if nothing else, my kids have (I'm assuming) noticed that I haven't had any beer (they never saw the vodka) in a few weeks. My wife really hasn't commented on it and I need to occaisionally remind myself that I'm not doing this so they notice but for me. I also don't snore too much anymore but now notice that my wife does at times since I'm not "passed-out" sleeping. It amazes me that I'm finally, albeit breifly, unshackled from the noose of alcohol...that's what if felt like. Waking up for at least 10 years, hoping, wishing and wanting to see what life would be like without being under the total control of alcohol. My family has multiple alcoholics, all of whom were mostly functional until it got to be too much and they've sought help and have been sober for a long time. My wife sees it as weakness ("I don't believe in alcholosim...it's a choice people make. You choose to drink or not to drink and/or how much to drink and when to stop.") Therefore, I have felt weak for so long because I have just been slave to the drug. So I guess I'll just enjoy the fact that today was 24 days waking up without a hangover and hopefully tomorrow will be another.

Anonymous said...



My handle was Red Wine Drunk.

I had 65 days of sobriety last May, but I fell off the wagon.

It took me a couple of months to stop again, and this time around, I am 93 days sober.

I was a nightly red wine drinker -- a bottle of wine every night. I slept terribly, had night sweats, parched dry mouth, and felt like crap most days until about noon.

Like a guilty addict, I also began to feel paranoid, as if I thought people at work were whispering behind my back about how much I drank. I imagined they could smell the booze on me or see it in my complexion. (Scary!)

I didn't think I could ever have dinner or restaurant meal without drinking wine. But now, I'm getting to the point where I don't think about having wine with dinner -- that's progress!

Since not drinking, I can say I'm more calm, sleep a bit better and overall feel better. I don't know if I've lost any weight, because I stopped getting on the scale. I don't think about "not drinking forever," but rather take it day by day. A part of me still misses the red wine, but I know it's NO GOOD.

To everyone struggling to get off the booze merry-go round, keep at it.

Coming home after work, getting drunk, then passing out is a terrible way to waste your life away. There are physical, mental and financial tolls for excessive drinking, and eventually it catches up with you -- it's only a matter of time and degree.

I tried to moderate, but found that I could not. One drink meant the whole bottle, so it's best to say No to the first one. Saying No to the first one works better than wanting to say No at the 6th glass of wine and regretting drinking even the first one.

Keep at it. It's worth it.
--Red Wine Drunk

Anonymous said...

One thing I try to remember, is quitting alcohol isn't supposed to be easy. I am now 12 days along on my quest. The first weekend was a real challenge. I live alone and currently have no close romantic relationships. Still when I come home after an hour of exercise, I so miss that little "pop" X 3 or 4. Now it gets satisfied with hot tea.

I just keep reminding myself that despite not having exactly what I think I want (several numbing drinks) that I have faced irritations before and survived them.

On 4/11 I am going on a 3 day retreat with 10 of my best men friends. Something I do twice a year. It will be a test. Alcohol always flows freely. But I believe I can resist or I wouldn't go.

I am really looking forward to the day when not drinking feels normal to me. Now, despite all of the benefits, I still feel cheated.

SC

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dui ny

NewSteps said...

Haven't touched alcohol in more than a month, even though I have it in my home and dine out frequently. Let me share the changes from just five weeks of abstaining:

(1) I have dropped 20 lbs. WOW! Without dieting. Never realized how fattening those nighttime drinks were.

(2) My skin/complexion have improved dramatically. A man who hasn't seen me in one year actually asked me if I'd had a "Lifestyle Lift" yesterday! So, the facial bloating, eye puffiness and crummy skin tone have all begun healing.

(3) I was VERY irritable the first few weeks, but it passed. Now I feel normal. Also, I seem to have alot more energy these days for walking, errands, housework, whatever.

(4) I a saving a fortune. Never realized how much the booze was jacking up my dining-out checks, as well as my liquor store bills. Plan to take a small vacation soon with the money I figured I saved so far.

(5) Motivation for me was a Cat Scan which disclosed I have fatty liver infiltation. That scared the crap out of me, as it's Step #1 in serious liver disease. It is, however, completely reversible within 6-8 months, IF YOU QUIT DRINKING TOTALLY. So, I have a strong goal to abstain till my liver is fully recovered. Have seen people die from both liver cancer and cirrhosis. NOT a pretty way to go.

I share all this, hoping it will encourage someone reading. LOVE this Site!

NewToBlogging said...

Hi,
I am new to this site and have just read every single comment.
Well,if so many of you can do it, then so can I.
I am a mess. I have had enough of living like this.
I am in my mid 40s and have always drunk wine everyday,until last year,when it became more,ie a bottle.
Then I added the vodka in the mix and was hiding bottles everywhere.
I have three children and lost it very badly,getting totally out of it. I destroyed Christmas 2012.
I never physically hurt them, but I scared them.
They set me an ultimatum,either I stopped or I would have to leave the house.
From that moment it just got worse and ten day later I was out.
He left me an ISA on the work top,cancelled all our credit cards and the next day changed the locks.
That was a year ago.
I got myself a job, two now actually and have somewhere to live.
I tried AA,but was told at my first meeting " cheer up, it is not like you have killed someone and most of us have never seen their kids again" mmm helpful.
I stopped drinking totally when I left home.
I was in such shock from being thrown out.
But,I have seen my kids only a couple of times since then and not at all since December 20th.
So,I slippery sloped at Christmas and have been drinking, heavily - getting worse, since then.
Now on a bottle of vodka a day.
I got home last night at 5.30 and slept till 1,having drunk my way there.
No more sleep for me after that,but vodka or no vodka I have not been sleeping.
Day off today and I decided I have had enough.
I lost so much weight in leaving last year,I now have that classic roll and a protruding tummy and I am scared. And I have a pain on my right hand side.
So,as I write it is 12.30 am and I have not had a drink since lunchtime and I have not gone to get anymore.
My family know I wobbled in September last year,I guess they may suspect that I wobbled at Christmas.
But to my knowledge no one knows how much I have been drinking on a daily basis,until now!
And I live alone and hide my bottles too....
I hope I can do it,I stumbled across the website looking up withdrawal symptoms.
Incredible to find it today of all days.
Am worried,not sure to taper or just bite the bullet.
Thank you for listening.
You are all amazing.

NewToBlogging.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone, I'm 26 female, married with a 3-year-old daughter. Been drinking beer mostly 3-5x/week since 20 years old. Also had a pill addiction off-and-on for the last 2 years. The last year I've been drinking beer (at least 3, sometimes up to 6 or 7 a night) starting late afternoon going through evening until I pass out. Finally realizing what a huge problem it is I have decided to quit. I'm on Day 6 right now and feeling fatigue, anxious, angry, mental fog, mild depression, but today I had a little bit of mental clarity and feel like I really actually will feel better. I basically feel like I have been in a fog since I was 20 years old and now issues are coming up from when I was 15 that I never ever dealt with. Trusting myself that I can figure out my issues and am finally dealing with them after six years of masking my feelings with drinking/drugs. A little worried about social situations - I feel like I don't want to even socialize without drinking - so I'm letting myself isolate a little bit from people to focus on getting myself better, without feeling guilty.

The worst part is that I'm a bartender, and it's like night and day when I would drink beer before/during work. I am such a great bartender if I have a few drinks to relax, and last Friday I worked without drinking (was Day 4) and it was horrible. Felt so out of place, awkward, kept messing things up. All-around horrible night. But at least I didn't drink. Was tempted a few times but still didn't do it. The worst part though was the shitty feeling of knowing I would have done better and not looked like an idiot if I would have just drank. But my sobriety is too important and I can't waste any more of my life in a mental fog.

Well I go back to work Tuesday, which will be Day 8, hoping I can get through it without quitting from feeling like a loser/failure at my job. Which is silly I'm sure so much of it is in my head. But I need this job and right now it's the only way I can make the money I need to support myself and my family.

Anyway, how do you get over the feelings of guilt from time lost/messing up friendships from drinking? Especially when now I have so much anxiety I don't even want to talk to anyone?

Sorry for the random ramblings, thank you all, I have been reading past entries, up to June 28 so not up-to-date yet, how are you ChardonnayLady RedWineDrunk and Caveman?

~BeachGirl

angela said...

My mouth is full of testimonies, my husband left home for two years to south Africa for a tourist, where he meant this prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a comment on the internet about a powerful spell caster called Dr. Magbu and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my Husband back to me. and he did, in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband.. Dr. Magbu here is the email address if you need his help : reunitingexspell@gmail.com

Shantel

Anonymous said...

I know I need help and truly want to quit then 5pm rolls around and it all starts again. I'm so depressed and disgusted with myself. Today will be day one I have to do this. I have abused my nearly 35 years. I was a highly successful professional. Now retired with a wonderful husband that drinks right along with me, he too wants to stop. I'm so embarrassed that seeking professional help is not on the table. Any support would be most welcome.

NewSteps said...

To anonymous poster of April 17th...I can totally understand your embarrassment about seeking medical help. I was in the same boat, so quit cold turkey with NO support. Depending upon how much you have been drinking, this may -- or may not -- be a safe option for you.

Give it some thought. If your consumption level has been serious enough, you could experience life-threatening seizures during withdrawal. I was fortunate. Had valium on hand (the withdrawal support medication, usually preferred by doctors) and was able to take it, as needed during my first 5 days. As it turned out, I did pretty well. Had virtually NO symptoms of "withdrawal," just some odd headaches (which I never get) around a week or so after quitting. They only bothered me for one afternoon and were NOT intense.

My only real side effect was irritability during the first 3-4 weeks. That, too, passed. I was, however, genuinely cranky with everyone around me, even my beloved little dog. I have read that this can happen, due to the tremendous brain chemistry and emotional shifts taking place.

You are the only one who can decide if you want to go cold turkey without medical support. If you do, I would strongly recommend a "taper down" approach. (I used this, before quitting.)

Start off by reducing your nightly consumption by about 20% the first week...then another 20% the second week...and so on. When I got down to 2 drinks per night, I felt ready to stop and I DID. That was nearly two months ago. I have no desire to drink and no ill effects. In fact I am delighted about losing 20 lbs. without dieting AND having clearer, younger-looking skin. Even the puffiness around my eyes and under my jaw have dramatically improved!

You can do this. Just do it with wisdom.

NewSteps

Anonymous said...

To the BeachGirl - how has it been going? hopefully you're still on track and have had a few good days at work without the booze.

Don't dwell on the past and over think things - good luck and keep fighting!

newsteps said...

I sure hope that whoever controls this Site will delete/block the scam postings from the spellcaster. This is a serious Site for people battling a serious addiction. PLEASE STOP POSTING YOUR TRASH. NONE OF US WANT TO SEE WITCHCRAFT NONSENSE.

Anonymous said...

I put similar message that you did . Nov last year about the rubbish they're putting on marriage guidance crap I got a reply telling me to go away from 1 that put it on

Anonymous said...

It has been 1 week. Carrot juice helps. also milk thistle.

Anonymous said...

6 months for me with no booze. I'm 42 and started drinking when I was 12. I quit once before for 1 year (when I was 33). I felt great during that year and accomplished more than normal.

This time around I think it has to be for good. I unwisely figured I could just have a glass or wine or 2 when I started up again. Complete nonsense, it just doesn't work that way. 1 leads to 2, leads to 3, leads to...

All the best everyone, you can do it. Action trumps everything and being sober, at least for me makes me a lot more productive.

My only concern now is my wife. We mat for our first date at a bar and have drank together more nights than not. And now that I'm sober and she is not, it bothers me to see her stumble into things, slur her speech, etc.

I'm not sure what to do about this with my wife, she is 9 years my junior and I don't want to control her or try telling her what to do. I'm trying to lead by example, but I'm now (being sober) more concerned for her safety when I see her come home every night and go straight for the beer.

Any positive personal experiences or successful approaches in dealing with this?



Anonymous said...

6 months for me with no booze. I'm 42 and started drinking when I was 12. I quit once before for 1 year (when I was 33). I felt great during that year and accomplished more than normal.

This time around I think it has to be for good. I unwisely figured I could just have a glass or wine or 2 when I started up again. Complete nonsense, it just doesn't work that way. 1 leads to 2, leads to 3, leads to...

All the best everyone, you can do it. Action trumps everything and being sober, at least for me makes me a lot more productive.

My only concern now is my wife. We mat for our first date at a bar and have drank together more nights than not. And now that I'm sober and she is not, it bothers me to see her stumble into things, slur her speech, etc.

I'm not sure what to do about this with my wife, she is 9 years my junior and I don't want to control her or try telling her what to do. I'm trying to lead by example, but I'm now (being sober) more concerned for her safety when I see her come home every night and go straight for the beer.

Any positive personal experiences or successful approaches in dealing with this?

NewSteps said...

To Anonymous Poster of April 30th - Congratulations on being sober for six months. HUGE progress. And already, your liver is healing dramatically from the damaged, caused by alcohol.

I totally understand your concerns for your wife. Unfortunately, she has to follow her OWN path. If she is not ready or willing to reduce the amount/frequency of her alcohol consumption, there is NOTHING you can do. I've always believed that drinking (like any other addiction) is an issue of personal choice. We have to WANT to quit or even just slow down.

Not sure what motivated you to finally take the giant step of quitting, but I know my Big Motivator was a scary Cat Scan. The doctor suspected I had kidney stones, so ordered the test. No stones, but the C-Scan revealed that I had Fatty Liver Infiltration...usually caused by alcohol (and even OTC/Rx medications over the years) or overweight. Since I am decidedly NOT overweight, I knew the cause: my nightly drinking.

It scared me into quitting, so that my liver could begin to heal. Having lost my husband to liver disease, as well as a brother-in-law (BOTH daily drinkers) and a close friend to pancreatic cancer (another daily drinker), I decided to SAVE MY LIFE. Daily drinking leads to premature death from liver, pancreatic, digestive and heart diseases. I don't want to wind up a statistic.

Your wife is much younger and probably not showing the physical ill effects of daily imbibing yet. Her drinking will have to run its course till she decides she wants to change...if ever. There are no guarantees she will EVER reach that point.

My best to you. Turn it over to God. He is the Only One Who can intervene.

- NewSteps

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