Sunday, January 11, 2015

Sobriety In The New Year

If you've planned to give up drinking for the new year: welcome.

If you've given up drinking before: welcome.

If you have been divorced, dirty, morally challenged, and regret deeply: welcome.

When you figure out that you have to make a change and you're on the third sick day of benders: welcome.

When you give up alcohol and gain ten pounds from the counterbalance of sweets; if

you're grumpy and assholish and nasty when you can't get your fix;  and

you're smart and devilish and sarcastic and a little crazy and selfish and you have decided you know everything you can like the foolish teenagers you calibrate away from seeing clearly: welcome.

And when you decide, after your five weeks of post new year slump that being sober is a downer;

And when your friends decided that your sober self is a bit different, shall we say, from the "real" you;

And when the light bulb cannot be fished out with a half cut slice of potato;

And when the fledgling excitement is stale:


This is sobriety.


Anonymous said...

First, I am very thankful for this site. Thank you.
40 year old male, been drinking for 23 years.
I believe my alcohol use was substantial (height of use was a 750ml bottle of Bacardi a day, currently downing a pint of it with 2-4 IPAs)
Today is my quit day... I've only tried to cut down my drinking before, but never fully cut it out. The night sweats were awesome, so I know I'll be entering hell tonight and the upcoming days.
I'll be stocking up on some vitamins and sleep aids tonight.
Good luck to me, and good luck to everyone else!


Anonymous said...

Love this!

I'm on day two of no drinking. Been drinking about a bottle or two of wine a night for 10 years.

The night sweats suck and the lack of sleep is killer...but I want sobriety more than anything.

Good luck to you all.

Ken said...

I have been sober for 2 years 28 days. This is after over 30 alcohol abuse & 10 years drug abuse.
I became a dysfunctional alcoholic 5 years ago., I have tried to give up before, but this never lasted.
I was living in Australia with my family, my wife of 28 years and children for 15 years, moving from the UK. I had many of the trappings in life, on the outside I looked successful. 2 years 29 days ago my world came crashing down , almost overnight (it seemed) I went from everything to nothing. I lost my family, Home, and job.
I went to my first AA in Australia, and this was the first real lasting step for me to be sober. I went to AA every day, sometime more in many locations, but deep down I knew I was not ready for a sponsor and knew this AA is just one step for me of being sober. I always have believed a sponsor is my ultimate answer, but I feel I only have one shot at it, so I thought I would wait until I am strong enough.

Since my world as I knew was finished, I decided to leave Australia and head for the middle east to countries with Alcohol bans, this for me was the only way to keep away from Alcohol. My family moved back to the UK and have been there since.

I have gone from a bloated alcoholic to a desperately emaciated alcoholic to now… just an alcoholic, all of these conditions carried the physical & mental issues that us alcoholics seem to be blessed with.

My life now is back on a track, and I feel strong enough to return to the UK soon hopefully by April 2015. Luckily enough I have been building the relationship with my family and will move home. There have been many situations I have found myself in over the past few years.. they started off bad, got worse, but bit by bit improved. There were many days, weeks and months of different feelings, but eventually some good ones came along during my self-imposed isolation.

I am now in the process of ensuring my life is filled with thing I want to and must do to avoid alcohol in the UK, my list is not complete but I think it will be soon.. Even during my short regular visits to Australia & UK people comment about me drinking diet coke, (they only ever knew me as a drinker)…. Sometimes funny, sometimes not, but always a reminder of what lies ahead.

As I am writing this I am crying, I am unsure if its sadness for what I have done to others, sadness for myself…. or fear for this year, I guess only time will tell.
I have never written on any blog before, I have read many others stories during my loneliness and reading others peoples stories of staying sober did help me. I’m sure most alcoholics believe at the beginning of sobriety, as I did that they can never stop and things will always be on the downward spiral. I don’t know if I will never drink again, all I know is I did not drink yesterday, and I did not drink today (so far) and my life is getting better one step at a time, that’s all im looking for out of life for now.

I do hope all try to be sober can stay sober long enough to find the happiness they deserve

Carmen said...

how sweet, what a lovely prayer you wrote there for us all, it means alot to me, x personally :)

Anonymous said...

I'm a 47 year old divorced mom and professional. I decided right after Christmas that I'd go a week without drinking, which wasn't really a big deal since i'm more of a binge drinker. I have now gone six months and it helps me to think that someday I can drink again but for now, I can't. If i think of it just for today, it helps.

I never drank much at home unless I had company, but I didn't know how to stop when I was out. And I would go out at any sign of emotional discomfort. Last year through therapy I recognized that I had a sexual addiction and through that learned that I use these things to fill the void or give me a quick fix when I felt lonely, sad, unattractive, incapable, etc. Slowly I began to accept that drinking was part of the problem since I seldom acted out without alcohol. After a couple of months of doing things that damaged my relationship with my kids and my professional image, visiting family at Christmas I decided that I would have no alcohol for a week. A week became a month, then three, and I'm approaching six months. I'm nervous because I often do things in six-month intervals and I am really really feeling sad these days. When I feel this way I read a letter that I wrote myself to remind me of what I've done and what I really want in life. I have to remind myself that I have felt so much clearer and confident since I stopped. I just stumbled across this blog and it seems like a great way to keep motivated.

Cici said...

I just completed an inpatient program for 25 days and I'm doing a once a week continuing care program now. I made it to 4 months and it was great! I could always be counted on and I gained trust back with my family. I relapsed one time and they are disappointed, as am I. However, I don't think a non-alcoholic can ever understand addict thinking. Does anyone have any ideas to help my family how to help me? Their comments and reactions just make me want to drink and make me feel like a total loser. Again, I know they don't understand our thinking...but how do I get them to understand they are actually making it harder for me? I know it's my problem, but sometimes they just make me feel it's all about them!

I know I cannot drink responsibly, I have to drink everything once I start...usually 2 bottles of wine or a pint of vodka. When I relapsed I did only buy a half pint, but of course they could doesn't take much for me to be affected by alcohol. I need to do this for myself and my family and I did feel like crap after I relapsed, but my first thought the next morning was to go buy more so I'd feel better!!!

Even if no one has suggestions just reading other posts and writing my feelings helps. Thank you.

Cici said...

And I totally gained weight when I stopped, my alcohol had a lot less calories than the cookies, ice cream and brownies that I eat every damn night now!!! Also, eating meals instead of drinking them too!

Carolyn Smith said...

Thank you so much for sharing this article :)