Restraints

How many times have you been in a situation when you wanted to say something but didn't, only to find yourself expressing your outrage at a later point in time to a friend?  In a city that's supposed to be tough, I sure hear a lot of people on their cell phones expressing just this type of rage.  They're full of complaints about other people, co-workers, lovers, bosses, spouses, parents.  In fact, this communal complaining serves to begin new and solidify already existent relationships. 

"Can you believe what Joe did today?"  I'm so pissed at Joe and feel belittled by his action/expressed preference.
"Who could, he was a complete jerk!" You're right to be feeling what you feel, and are correctly assessing the situation that occurred.

Some people "don't deserve a response"--but why not?  Should our outrage be so obvious that we exclude the source from the feeling he/she induced if she/he fails to get it?  Wouldn't we be doing everyone a favor if we actually said what we felt?  Then the person might correct his/her behavior and we might feel like we mattered a little bit?

I guess when it comes down to it, the question is costs/benefit in the sense that we might not want to risk our necks if it means further exposure to undesired behavior by x person.  Especially if it confers social benefits later at a lunch/smoke break. We don't like to actually confront people's expressed beliefs that we happen to disagree with too much, no matter how tough we are.