It is all like I said it was going to be

in my head, before i said it. and what a let down, boy, lemme tell you, these days. so energetic in their frenetic morning pauses, their half-hearted commutes into the hinterlands and fallen wood, rotted, soft and dark. there was a thought yesterday. i almost pinned it down, but slipped at the last minute, violently so, and my shoe got sucked off in the sludgy mud that was left from recent rains, and my hand went down into the grass, the thick scalp of the earth shedding easily, welcoming, really, a synthesis of me, and of it, and i'm not ready yet, like i said, before i really knew what it meant. that i'm not really emotionally set on that aspect.

the idea went pinging away down the alley like a stone getting skipped on water, eventually settling down to look at me with eyes microscopically aware, the fusion of our paths liberally painted out in the recent past, vivid hues that i tried to capture too, with a french daisy yellow that was too costly in an east village shop on a windy day, when i reached back into the palette suddenly, aware that the idea might be tired, might be winded, that, yes, i could see it now, breathing over there, panting really, out of breath, energy dwindled down into a smidgen of a mark, only eyes to belie some sense of the movement, of the energy that sizzled out so briefly to test the heat of the pan, so i grabbed hold of a white tube then, and some sludgy mix off the ground, pushed the colors together haphazardly at first, and then with some rhythm, a sense of step, of hoopla, fluidly even, with some purpose, and dabbled my knife end longingly in the moisture that had perspired between us before applying it deep down blues groove etta james' on the already crackled dried up acrylics of my let downs, and, for those few moments, we cut the bodily apparatus down into a lockstep game of mathematical and engineering bliss.

Maybe tomorrow, we could do this again, I called out, in my newly acquired voice.

Sure, if that's what you think, my idea smiled. If you think you can manage.

I looked down to make sure my shoe laces were tied.