Just a Little?

For dessert, bananas emerged with a syrupy sauce that was part vanilla, part brown sugar, and part rum.  It had been cooked a bit, so there wasn't any risk of consuming enough alcohol for a buzz without also getting an extreme stomach ache, but there was some risk associated with consuming some small quantity of alcohol that I can't deny.  The question here is how strict you want to be at the non-drinking game.  At what level does your system recognize booze and switch from a mildly content but at times irritable person to one that has deeply embedded salivary glands for cognac?  I'm not sure.  I'm not sure if I have to abstain from all alcohol, including cough syrup for instance.  If I allow for specific purpose exceptions, then may I allow myself one glass of wine to congratulate a friend's marriage, or birthday, or etc.?  Have you ever been empty handed at a toast?  It is not too comfortable.  What is stranger, the fact that I point out my problem with booze by not drinking, or the fact that I could be more normal by drinking, even a little bit at a time?  I know, I know, the basic response always clicks right in when needed: You cannot control your drinking, so you shouldn't drink even a little bit.  But what if that is not so true?  And what parameters do I apply to "control" (in all seriousness)?  Should I abstain this weekend because I'm fearful of late September, or of September 2011?  There's probably a balance, I agree, but it just isn't that easy to locate.