Reliving The Past -

Struggling with regret is normal.

But living in a world where previous mistakes infiltrate almost every living moment is not as normal.
A second version of this is when all current events get filtered through old mistakes.

A third version exists when we basically are reacting to old mistakes without knowing it, and simultaneously trying to "prove" ourselves (mostly to ourselves).  The academic would be star is not exempt from this as much as the high school nerd who is now a sports jock is reacting to previous real or perceived social opprobrium.

We don't like it when our egos, finely tuned and attenuated as they may be, in relatively fragile state either way, are hit down.  And depending on our character, how we react (depression, or digging in deep, or ignoring previous slights), is vital and reflects our self-image.  Naturally, I can run away, across the country, and become sensitive, and cower in the corner with the best of them!

I used to think it was important to be careful with everything I said, to make sure the person who I was talking to was flattered, to always be aware of social etiquette (unless drunk, in which case I would change my "audience" to a new crew of crazies in my head and act all sorts of out of tune).  Etiquette and niceties are quaint and excellent, and being polite is important.  I respect hierarchy and authority, much more these days than ever before, and in a deeper way, too, but I also recognize that my specific actions and words are much less important than ever before, and while that is a bit depressing, it is freeing, too.