We're All Victims

Excuses are easy.  I'm not saying they're not valid, or warranted, or heartfelt, or that they matter.  Or that excuses function only as excuses.  I'm not saying that they should be wiped away and disregarded.  But.  They also shouldn't have the power of God, be capable, in other words, to diminish one's sense of necessary responsibility and, yes, if necessary, shame.  We are all victims in some way, some of us much more so than others.  And it is often the case that the true victims (of child abuse, for instance), are incredibly hard on themselves and not very forgiving, whereas those who live sheltered lives have learned to manufacture outrage and build in excuses that manifest as victimhood, but are in reality simply privileged excuses to feel outrage, blame others, and generally not work to self-correct.

Self-correction is necessarily difficult.  Perhaps the most difficult.  Parents would at times rather lose sons, would rather commit suicide, would rather take the cost of almost anything over and above self-correcting.  

Sobriety = self-correction.  It isn't easy, and it isn't about being nice, playing games, or making people like you.  It is about desiring honesty and trying not to let the first few inchoate thoughts that float into your mind find a way to solidify as irretrievable fact, forever immovable.