It's just a natural consequence of malnutrition for so many years, and the transition from your body moving from alcohol as a primary fuel to actual food.
Eat lots of good fats. Stay away from excessive carbs and sweets and caffeine. Get into a moderate exercise routine. Learn to cherish green tea. Sleep. For the first time in a long time. Sleep. I'm serious.
Let a few months slip by without relentless need washing over you all the time and just settle the fuck in and ride.
Thank you for your comment about sleep. I am on day 4 and feel exhausted. I want to wear an armband on my arm that says 'please be kind to me, I am newly sober, and tired, and still a bit dazed and confused". I was worried that sleeping was a way of avoiding the pain, but I know now that it is what my body needs. And as I normally "drink myself to sleep", it has been weird to wake up without a hangover...I am a 47 year old mom who really fell off the cliff in the last couple of years. My mom has 30 years of sobriety, and I grew up taking care of her. I now have a 7 year old daughter, and I don't want to put her what I went through. As I have a disease with chronic pain (fibro and lupus), pills got mixed into the equation. So I am going to a detox (first time ever) in 36 hours (I have been sober 4 days, originally I had said Jan 2, but woke up the day after Thanksgiving and said, f this, I am sick of living this way, and I don't want to wait to get off this ride so I moved my date up 5 weeks. Got honest with my husband, called my doctor and got honest with him, and told 2 family members, so there is no going back now. And I don't want to go back. Because I have been on sleep meds and benzos for my pain mgmt, my doctor felt a 4 or 5 day supervised detox was best course of action. But when I read the list of what not to bring (dental floss?, it freaked me out). However, these 24 hour blogs are priceless. My mom has 30 years of sobriety and I was the one who dragged her through my teen years, so I have the fortune of knowing the program well, not that it stopped me, but I knew where I was headed.....her mom died an active alcoholic. No craving for sweets or caffeine, but mashed potatoes, which I was too sloshed at Thanksgiving to enjoy keep beckoning me. I have gained about 40 pounds in the last 2 years, before that I was a tiny adult figure skater....can't wait to get back on the ice, that is the best high ever. Thanks so much for your post...I am looking forward to getting off the ride I have been on, the lying, the hangovers, trying to figure out where I hid the bottles before someone else does..the insanity of it all. I couldn't understand why I barely ate, and drank my calories and had gotten so heavy....I look at pictures of myself from 2 years ago and can see the damage I have done. But I know that if I keep on keeping on, I will crawl out of this shell I have enclosed myself in, and find that "girl" again. Hell, I was a bond trader on Wall St for 15 years, and now my brain is so fried, my home phone has been out for 10 days and I am too overwhelmed to even deal with that.....I am going back to sleep, thank you thank you for your post!peorba
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