Late May (and Powerful Men!)

Been up since four with the same old friend back pain that used to wake me up at four, like clockwork, every single night, the one that always left me bleary eyed in my recliner in some half sleep zombie shell.  Damnit if sleep could only be consistent.

Yesterday, I got my hair(s) cut by a new person.  She was really nice, and she had on talk/celebrity tv in the background, so we chatted, especially about men like Dominique Strauss-Kahn, John Edwards, Arnold, Tiger, Charlie, et al.  She told me that now Woods "lost his game" and I think she's right--at least, judging by my ridiculously thin memories of television screens every few months when I get my hair cut, or go to the dentist (knock on wood).

What is it with these men?  They have, seemingly, everything any man could want.  And yet.  And yet, they just can't keep it in their pants.  They cannot resist the urge to, in most instances, abuse their powerful positions, but minimally: to gain relatively superficial but powerful immediate pleasure and ignore longer term potential harm.

Okay, repeat after me: sex makes babies, not just powerful men feel their brillo-pad like chest hair push out their 100 dollar silk shirts an extra inch, or two.    Point of fact is that there's something about sheer domination, sheer power, and sheer pleasure, that mixes to send rational minds whimpering into the closet. 

It's the same thing that causes a food binges and one night stands and alcoholics to become alcoholics.

At the end of my hair cut, she said: there's some balance, you know, some destiny.  These men get too powerful too fast and then, they get cut down. She said there's such a thing as destiny.

Of course, I'm such a cynic lately, that I think such thinking (and words like destiny) are covers for "group coherence" and mask a certain fairness attribute that all humans love to use to use, and that triggers, often, contempt--the most nasty of emotions (or close).

I'd love to believe in destiny.  Love it.  I wish I had the faith.  What I do know is that those men?  They were thinking in a fantasy land.  That's what men like to do when they get emotional and creative--think about actions and choices that are devoid of trade-offs.  There are no such actions.

Hey, let's get back to it everyone.  Remember: we can't do everything, all the time.  Me, I'm going to concentrate on trying to get one very small task done today, and gaining knowledge about the others for the next days.  If I die, at least I got one thing done.  More than many of the years that look back at me in the rear view (and probably why they made those damn things dim-able).