There are a lot of "knowns" in the world, many of which fall into easy and hard classification with numbers. I'm certainly at the beginning of my understanding in this realm. But, for all of the hard facts available out there, it is still quite difficult to chart emotional landscapes with the kind of accuracy and precision that I'd hope for. One thing is astoundingly clear though: although we act in patterned ways, we do not always do what is best for us, especially when faced with pleasure temptations, whether alcoholic, sugar, human, or other. Maybe that is basic. Still, it can be gut wrenching to watch a loved one abuse him or herself repeatedly with alcohol (or other drugs) without the feeling that you should be able to do something to reason with him/her and help them figure it out--and ultimately, to stop the abuse.
Unfortunately, and I breathe a heavy sigh here, increased information about irrational acts does not product rational acts, but often strengthens irrational ones. More on this soon.
You guys trip me out! I've got a long way to go but at least I'm not alone. Some of you guys were drinking '2 bottles of wine a night' or '25 beers a week.' Man, I was up to about a liter of vodka per day. When drinking beer, at least 24 per episode. The good news is when I stop, I start shedding pounds like crazy. It's been about 10 days since I had a drink. I'm just sick of putting my life on permanent hold so I can get drunk one more time. Over and over and over again.
ReplyDelete"I'm just sick of putting my life on hold so I can get drunk one more time. Over and over again."
ReplyDeleteThis really resonates with me because it's always "one more time then I'll work harder to cut back/stop". But then I get home and all willpower disappears. It's been just one day and already I battled a sleepless night, sweating and I feel like there's a fog or veil on my brain. And tonight is date night. That means my fiance will be pouring himself an ice cold Blue Moon and I will want one too. :(
The "funny" thing is, i sat with AAA meeting with 2 of my kids when they were teens. I didn't used to drink at all. It was after my dad died, or, rather, at his wake - which was held in a london pub - where I discovered the the brits love of beer was merited! yeah - 3 years ago, and I find myself stashing beer around the house as my husband (of 5 years) in an ex-alcholic, and I didn't want to temp him ... or ... yeah, self lies are the shit!
ReplyDeleteDrinking alcohol is not really bad when done moderately, it's called social drinking. However, when it's been done continually and excessively to the point of always ending up drunk, then it's no good at all. Try to visit my website for more info regarding alcoholism.
ReplyDeleteI'm battling with this back and forth. I'm 33 and as far as I can remember, have basically drank excessively just about every day for the last 10 years. I've graduated college, started a successful career, married a great woman, built a very nice home, and now have a 4 yr old and 2 yr old. All the while drinking anywhere from probably 6 to 18 beers daily. I am easily slowing down and going days without drinking which tells me that I can, but I just always want to sleep and get irritated easily. I find it easy not to drink but I honestly feel better physically and mentally when having a few every day. I know its not the healthiest but if my tiredness and crankiness do not change, I will go back to drinking a few daily not just so excessively. The only thing about me is that sometimes one is too many and 100 is not enough. I only drink beer and never appear or feel drink just a little buzzed, even if I have 12+ in an hour. maybe I'm just built different
ReplyDeleteToday is day 52 for me, does anyone know when depression may subside? I like reading all of your postings, it is very helpful to know I am not alone in my struggle!
ReplyDeleteSandy
How are you feeling now. ANY better 20 days after your post? I still struggle and wonder if this will ever go away
DeleteSo I see no one has replied to sandy who asked when depression seems to go away for most people? IM going on 50 days and fatigue depression and anxiety still rules to the point of debilitating. Anyone???
ReplyDeleteI recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often..
ReplyDeleterachelle madrigal
www.imarksweb.org
Hi, after reading previous encouraging postings, it has encouraged me to post that today is day 17 without alcohol. I have been drinking for at least 30 years and over the last 20 I would say I drank a litre bottle of vodka and a couple of bottles of wine a week. Oddly enough, I didn't really get any bad withdrawal symptoms apart from the craving at my usual drinking time of teatime or there ish. I still get the craving and feel heavy headed and tired. I am waiting for this wonderful change I am supposed to notice in myself, which I hope comes soon. The thought of abstinence without reward I find difficult.
ReplyDeleteheavy drinking as you know brings about a lot of chances and deficiencies in the body. With the money you are saving on booze - get ourself to a good naturopath, kinesiologist or clinical nutritionist and have them help you rebalance. The will help empower you to heal your bod more effectively and help the sleep sugar lows, anxiety. Food is medicine. The can also do tests our dr just doesn't have as the aren't holistic - to see what our body needs. Acupuncture also brilliant for the withdrawal and recovery stage. Its used a lot here in the uk on recovery programs. Basicallv people you are doing a wonderful thing here - reward yourself with some self care x ps - 4 years for me with a couple of fails, 18 months now total dry and never ever again now as my self sabotage button has been removed in therapy :).
ReplyDeletethe bloody y on my keyboard keeps stopping working sorry for the typos :)
ReplyDeleteI am on Day 2, I am 44 and been drinking heavily for 12 years. I decided to quit after my daughter texted me about my drinking. I got into huge fight with my wife about what I have put her through the past 12 years. I have a great job, but my family has gotten the brunt of my drinking at home. I am just so irritable without alcohol but I understand her frustrations. I don't want a drink, but I want myself and wife to feel better. Any suggestions? Does it get better for both me and my wife?
ReplyDeleteI'm 22 days sober after getting drunk every two days,for eleven years. This is the first time I have made it past ten days!I can't go back because I'll have to start all over and I'm feeling great. I get butterflies in my stomach for the oddest reasons and I feel refreshed and replinished. A guy down the street from me took a double take at me yestersday and I know it's because I was looking great!
ReplyDeleteI am at 5 weeks sober today! I feel each day I am waking up. I feel good, but must remember not to get to excited,as the need to celebrate may take over. I have my life back and fully intend to keep it. I will not return to worrying about how bad I will feel tomorrow morning, or what did I say to those friends at that party, or how many beers did I actually drink? NO MORE and Damn it feels good. It is not easy, but well worth it. I will make it this time!!!!
ReplyDeleteHad the worst hangover of my life 2 days ago.Have been drinking alot of water. I know needing to drink 2 bottles of wine every day after work is out of control. The shame makes me take the bottles and put in someone else's bin on the way to work. 2nd day of not sleeping but going to persevere. At 56 it's not a good look.
ReplyDeleteI have been sober now for 47 days and feel terrible. Its okay, I know that better things lie ahead. I was a drinker for over 30 years and it became progressively worse, especially when mixed with drugs. I recently lost my job and realized I was operating at about 50% brain capacity. I am struggling and wishing I wasn't a drunk but I am and I have accepted it. I know that I have been a selfish jerk all these years and want to make it right before I die. I was a smart kid with a lot of potential and I just never really developed emotional maturity. I feel like I am 19 in the head. I am going to live one day at a time and live an amazing life.
ReplyDeleteI am almost 54 and have been under the haze of alcohol and drugs since I was 15. I had most recently been drinking 12 beers a day and occasionally smoking weed. I quit 37 days ago with no expectations of it being anything but a short break. I have oddly not missed it much however I am feel very spaced out and confused like I have less control now than when I was drinking. I am really happy I found this site to see others going thru the same thing. I just want to feel normal...whatever that is....
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