Passing the 6 Month Mark

Yeah, that was a thick black magic marker made line behind me, three dimensional and social networked even.  It loomed up out of the distance for so long that I wasn't sure it would happen.  Will a year feel the same way?  If it does, then I'm in it for the long haul. I'm clearer than I have in a long enough time to not recognize the current state of affairs in my head, and I'm glad about it.  I'm letting go of things that don't really matter, worrying less about keeping up appearances and generally finding out what I value.  I don't desire alcohol or feel that it will quench anxiety or depression, and I'm more able to see that the aspects to drinking I liked didn't really have to do with the drinking itself.  I'm more able, that is, to pull apart my social self from my drinking self, when before the two wore the same skin.  The questions have always been basic: what motivates me, what makes me intrigued?  The answers have always been overblown and complicated, highly stylized themselves and ineffably academic.  They've been everything I've been taught to think of as valuable and not enough of what I think is valuable.