Controlled Drinking?

I was reminded by Sobriety Girl's Post about the idea of moderate drinking yesterday that it might not be as clear cut and exciting to experiment with moderate drinking after a period of sobriety.  After all, we addictive personality-types sure know how to walk the line, and then lose our balance.  After six months of sobriety last year I too decided that I should have a drink, that I had proved something, at least, and that I could handle the drinking.  Sure, I did handle it fairly well for a few days, but then I thought, somehow, that it could be normal to come home and have a drink or two, and then, on the weekends, to have a few more than one or two, and pretty soon I was drinking every day--and then I increased the amount I drank.  After a few more weeks of this, there was no difference between who I had been before my dry spell, and then the dry spell didn't matter.  I was me, the person who drinks and wants more to drink, and I was no longer the person who didn't want to drink, or had a reason to stop drinking.  In fact, my period of sobriety no longer mattered, and that meant, directly, that my sobriety itself no longer mattered.  Fast forward six months, and a number of atrocious situations that don't need to be dredged up from the muck of my personally polluted body of aqueous experience, and you find me again, wanting to get and stay sober, which is the purpose of this writing, at heart.