Let's Try for Less

It has occurred to me that a lot of my need to drink originated in an effort to accomplish productivity levels that scorched the upper stratosphere--there was no way that I could accomplish what I laid out for myself.  This has been a bit cyclical for me, in that I've rotated around utter laziness and high raging octane levels of busyness.  Perhaps I felt a need to make up the time I lost, or to clear my schedule for a few days, if you know what I mean, but it is undeniable that I expected too much of myself, and that this expectation was somewhat internalized to a high level of ambition and failure and the need to recoup or relax, also aggressively.  After all, feeling hugely productive is not necessarily the mark of high productivity, and the opposite is also true: feeling exonerated from life's responsibilities does not mark high levels of relaxation.