Yesterday was my birthday, so I'm actually counting down now, in a way, until I turn 30 next year. Not drinking yesterday wasn't as much a chore as I thought it would be, mostly because nobody noticed, and because I stayed busy. If we were out at a bar it would be a bit harder. I actually labeled a beer in the closet in green "next August" so that I can partake next year. How's that for forward thinking?
Mostly, I want to live a fulfilling life and not become an abusive ignorant or egregiously close minded fool. As easy as it may be to point out instances or people that typify such descriptors, it is much harder to trace their realization over time, and from normal roots. There's always an insecure little kid inside the most arrogant loudest son of a bitch, but sympathizing with the kid doesn't excuse the adult's behavior. No matter how clear or precise you may be able to diagnose matters in other people, the attention should be turned toward yourself (the self) in at least a 10 fold magnification--because it is just much harder to grab at simple insights about yourself than it is about other people. And that's probably why people can go on exhibiting the behavior that they dislike or disagree with in others. They're simply not aware of how they act. How to make them aware, or oneself aware of oneself, and how to do so in a way that doesn't trigger immediate defense mechanisms, is the key to the castle, whether it be kafka-esque, or a one bedroom in Queens.
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